Bair_K: No, you did not possess the emotional competence to make that decision at 14, and no, you don't possess the emotional competence or maturity to get engaged at 19. There is a reason people who get married as teens are over twice as likely to get divorced. Sincerely, an adult.

Children think they're ready to do all sorts of adult things. It doesn't mean they actually are, and they won't realize it until they've had the chance to actually mature.

130- I both agree and disagree. I don't think 14 year olds should be having sex. That being said, I had sex when I was 15 (which makes my last comment hypocritical, I know) and it hasn't scarred me for life. In fact, it hasn't affected my life negatively at all. I don't think it's fair for you to say she doesn't "possess the emotional competence or maturity to get engaged". You have no idea whether that's true. If she's already been with the guy for 5 years, that's a pretty good indicator that they'll stay together. I can also assure you that I've met multiple 19 year olds who are much more mature and competent than some of the "adults" I've met. 19 year olds may not be "adults" by your standards, but we aren't children. Please stop being so patronizing.

I am not being patronizing. Most teenagers think they know a lot more than they really do (I know I did at that age). A teenager claiming they are mature enough to make potentially life changing decisions (like having sex) is just that: teenagers being teenagers. It is exactly WHY most 14 year olds aren't mature enough to make intelligent choices. They don't have enough knowledge or experience to make the best decision. Do a few? Sure. Do the vast majority? Absolutely not. The 'man' #127 is engaged to is 19 years old. That is still a kid, not a man.

I apologize for coming off as typical. I am by no means ignorant to my lack of life experience, and I'm not going to dispute factual evidence. Younger couple relationships do have a statically higher probability of failing. However, marriages at any age group have a chance of failing. My parents for example. Young people that get married and do not actually know what they want will end up divorced quickly. Those that do know have just as good of a chance as say, two 30-year-olds that get married. Also, I'll be 20 in a few months. Will I magically gain competence then?

You don't 'magically' gain competence . You gain competence slowly over time as you have experiences in life. A 14 year old (and a 19 year old) has roughly 0 experiences so far in life. That is the problem. Is 18 year old an arbitrary number? Yes, it is. That doesn't change the fact that teenagers for the most part have next to no life experience to draw on.

As someone who has been happily married since 19, and having seen multpile couples who get married mych later in life end up divorced/unhappy, I think it is extremely ignorant to say that a 19-year-old is unable to make such life-changing decisions. So when exactly is the right age to be married?

having sex is not a complete life-changing choice. Only if adults make such a big deal out of it. While it actually isn't...

144- You said it yourself, some 19 year olds ARE capable of making big decisions. You've never met this person who's getting engaged so it isn't fair for you to decide whether she's capable or not. My boyfriend is 19 too. He lives away from home, has a job, drives, pays for his own things, etc. I don't see how you can call that being a "kid". And as someone who is 19, yes, you ARE being very patronizing. Perhaps we don't have as much experience as you, but that doesn't mean we're incapable or incompetent.

She could decide this for herself, even if she's 13. As long as it is in complete consent, it's her decision and hers alone.