Kids: Today, my 20-year-old daughter staggered into my room at two...

By Ugh - 27/02/2013 21:42 - United Kingdom

Today, my 20-year-old daughter staggered into my room at two in the morning, drunker than I ever thought a person could be, screaming for me to make pancakes for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 506

You deserved it 7 735

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Same thing different taste

Do I know you?

By goblue - 21/12/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, I was sleeping in my room when I awoke to an unfamiliar female voice in my apartment, followed by a thud. I walked out to find a drunk girl I've never met collapsed in my doorway. After puking all over the place, she had me call her father, who picked her up 10 minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 471

You deserved it 3 174

Call CPS

By LaurenJ - 18/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I went to my 19 year-old daughter’s apartment when I heard her baby crying. I have a spare key so I opened the door to find her crying in her rocker. I called my daughter and it turns out she went on a weekend to Malibu with her friends and she “left her some milk and a bowl of Cheerios. She’ll be alright.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 156

By roselysunset - 29/07/2015 17:07 - United States - Cypress

Today, I came home to find my mom drunk. She asked me for a hug and then started crying, "Where's my daughter?" I'm her daughter. And her only child, as far as I know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 765

You deserved it 1 635

By Anonymous - 07/06/2019 20:00

Today, I had to go pick up my mother at 3 in the morning. She had been out drinking and couldn't drive. She parties more than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 456

You deserved it 228

By Clader - 10/12/2008 03:09 - France

Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 622

You deserved it 2 890

Parental disapproval

By Anonymous - 31/10/2023 16:00

Today, my daughter gave me the “but daddy I love him” speech when she turned up to a family event with her boyfriend, who was at least 20 years older than her, was visibly intoxicated, stank of body odour and cigarettes, then tried to flirt with my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 473

You deserved it 73

Get back here!

By Anonymous - 12/02/2010 07:51 - Canada

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 160

You deserved it 2 766

By sober - 12/02/2009 02:09 - United States

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 392

You deserved it 4 328

Mommy dearest

By Ohkourt - 20/04/2020 05:00

Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 663

You deserved it 125

Wake up

By Anonymous - 11/12/2021 23:01

TToday, my daughter was hungover, so to teach her a lesson I started banging a pot next to her ear. An hour later, we’re in hospital. She wasn’t hungover; she hadn’t even been drinking. Her migraine was a huge aneurism one sneeze away from bursting and killing her instantly. I’m a terrible dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 2 483

MolesterStallone 13

Wednesday 27 February 2013 23:53

You should make her pancakes

Pleonasm 35

Thursday 28 February 2013 0:01

I bet that just scared the crêpe out of you, didn't it?

Comments

PhishloverA 14

Thursday 28 February 2013 20:02

So did you save some for us here on FML?

Shrike 23

Thursday 28 February 2013 20:51

The person who posted this FML lives in Britain, where the legal drinking age is 18, you moron. How many people have already pointed that out? Quite a few.

Shrike 23

Thursday 28 February 2013 21:42

And yet despite having such a busy life, you keep coming back here to reply. How about spending that time reading a few comments first, or investing in a pair of eyes, so next time you'll see the location printed on the FML.

koranne1 4

Friday 1 March 2013 0:52

Hahah I'm loving this one :D I'm having a mental picture of this - hilarious!!!

dr_snow_bear 29

Friday 1 March 2013 1:25

Great job raising your skan...daughter. I meant daughter.

Nave42 7

Sunday 3 March 2013 20:55

I take it you've never heard of people doing stupid shit when they're drunk, huh?

JennNoVa 8

Friday 1 March 2013 3:57

At least she didn't puke all over your room.

Shrike 23

Friday 1 March 2013 4:10

A little advice for you: when trying to sound laid-back, calm, and totally unaffected by someone's comments to you, using passive-aggressive smiley faces and saying "love you" is just going to make it even more obvious that you really have no actual come-back and that you're desperate to get a "victory". I guess I can't expect a kid - which you blatantly are, despite your bullshit profile - to be mature, so I'll do the mature thing for you and walk away. P.S. Pay attention in English class, for ****'s sake. If you need that in your native tongue: "LOL U DUM IM DUN HERE LOL KK ;)"