By theregoesmyspermcount - 02/08/2009 22:45 - United States

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

redbluegreen 40

I'd suggest you invest in a giant human bubble. Or a cup.

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Comments

Zoomin24 0

i would punch him right back. in the face.

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Vagrarian 2

Your dad's a piece of shit. Consider calling 1-800-799-7233, the National Domestic Abuse Hotline. What he is doing could be considered abuse.

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drimpossible 0

I agree with those suggesting he takes up a martial art. Preferably one that teaches you to reach into people's bodies and pull out their organs with their bare hands. As your father realized his ******** strike had been blocked, and then saw his still beating heart in your hand, his last words would be: "I'm... I'm proud of you, boy.."

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notlovingit 0

im sorry - not funny but i burst out laughing hes not serious is he?

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_THE_MASTER_ 0

i think people throw around the word 'abuse' too much these days. he's not beating his son or making him kneel on rice for extended periods of time or anythign extreme, not battering him around, he's just trying to teach him in a roundabout way to expect anything at anytime. so, OP, grow up, take some initiative and take the first strike that presents itself, and when you succeed, tell him that he needs to improve his reflexes too, and you'll surely help him with that the way he is helping you. it'll be like a weird bonding experience.

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Da_Gov 0

LOL punch his balls when he's not expecting to test his reflexes!

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GFLiE 0

HE'S YOUR FATHER! You should know this by now, but "once a Marine, always a Marine." THEY'RE NOT ****** "EX-MARINES!" It's "former" or "retired," retard. I'm guessing you don't have a close relationship with your dad if you didn't know this.

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rob7641 0

oorah... for that question earlier... and you cannot be an ex marine you just retire and become a former Marine. A marine is a title that stays with you for life no matter what..even when you leave the service...much different from other branches

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chowyuk 0

if the kids soft enough to cry about this martial arts are not going to help him once again there can be an ex Marine one who got kicked out for being a shit bag who did not serve honorably

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DaBombb316 0

Even then its still former marine. Dishonorable Discharge does not strip them of that either. They still have the training and the mentality. Hence, no such thing as an "ex-marine"

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shyles 0

Ex = Former. Example: Ex-girlfriend = Former girlfriend. They both work. Quit the "Once a marine, always a marine" crap. You're not a marine if you don't partake in a marine's duties. You can label yourself as an ex-marine though.

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bloodfalcon22 0

He's not a "Former MArine" he is an "Ex-Marine" because he was discharged for punching the genetalia off of 5 soldiers.

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