By theregoesmyspermcount - 02/08/2009 22:45 - United States

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML
I agree, your life sucks 69 847
You deserved it 5 703
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

redbluegreen 40

I'd suggest you invest in a giant human bubble. Or a cup.

100 4

Comments

plexico 3

You've got a good dad. Life is going to try to randomly punch you in the balls, so you've get to be ready to act. If I were you, I'd do a pre-emptive strike to his testicles while he sleeps. Tell him, "If you want to play ball punch, it's on!" HOOO-HAAAAH

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mclaxin1115 0

OP, your nickname FTW. ask lance armstrong for help on this, he'll know.

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DanceDiva1496 0

Wow, that sucks. I'd invest in a ball cup lol. Couldn't you report your dad to the police for sexual harrassment?

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mj2123 0

This isn't sexual harassment. It is child abuse, though...

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iFruit 0

Buy a cup (is that what theyre called?). Put it on. Never, EVER take it off.

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flinkpamingo 0

Who does that? Seriously? To their own child. That's why there are self defense lessons. Or the Marines. But NO Marine I have ever known has EVER done anything remotely like that to their child. That's just wrong. But on the other hand: May I say "Cast Iron" and "Department of Family Services"? Oh yeah, get a taser and start administering your own little "random acts of kindness".

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Ub3r_Crippl3 0

To whoever said something about 250 lbs of muscle rushing at you; if you weigh 250 lbs, that is not muscle.

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drimpossible 0

BTW, this reminds me of Andy Samberg's stepdad in "Hot Rod"

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PositiveChillout 0

That's absolutely amazing. And for the record, there's no such thing as an ex-marine. Your dad is pro

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