Miscellaneous: Today, my 6-year-old cousin came to my door, demanding canned...

By Stumble - 17/01/2010 04:43 - United States

Today, my 6-year-old cousin came to my door, demanding canned food. I asked him what for, and he said, "Dad said I needed them for a school project." I said all right, and he started raiding my pantry. I was left with only green beans. He stole all my Spaghetti O's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 338

You deserved it 27 674

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Same thing different taste

By mom - 26/04/2018 15:00

Today, after it appeared my daughter was throwing away any vegetables in her school lunch, I packed her all vegetables so she would have to eat at least one. Nope! She threw them out and complained to school that "mommy doesn't feed" her. I got a call from the school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 432

You deserved it 613

By kagan - 08/08/2019 14:00

Today, the only food in the house is canned beans and vegetables that I can’t stand. My dad refuses to go to the store because, "we can't afford it." Meanwhile, my stepmom just came home with a brand new Gucci purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 081

You deserved it 155

By Anonymous - 02/03/2012 08:30 - Belgium

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 601

You deserved it 4 432

By noodlesandmilk - 13/12/2015 14:10 - Australia - Canberra

Today, my step-brother went grocery shopping alone for the first time. He came home with Ramen and 14 bottles of chocolate milk, which will expire by the 20th. My step-dad is insisting we eat it so it doesn't go to waste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 065

You deserved it 1 851

By LittleSprout - 21/03/2017 04:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was buying veggies with my five-year-old. She saw some brussel sprouts and begged me to buy them. I thought there was no way she'd like them, but I do, so I got them. Later, she was sitting on the couch eating them raw like candy. I have a weird kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 846

You deserved it 1 226

Lunch Special

By Luisa - 09/01/2020 01:00

Today, we have nearly no food in the house. My husband went shopping with the kids and returned with a sack of tomatoes. Time to make lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 063

You deserved it 241

Epipen time!

By Anonymous - 17/08/2010 17:06 - Canada

Today, my aunt asked me to babysit my cousin. She gave me a warning that he says he's allergic to foods to get out of eating them. When I brought out my homemade cooking, he told me he was allergic, so I made him eat it anyway. Turns out he WAS allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 981

You deserved it 13 267

Confused

By Nathanael Johnson - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my roommate came home from work and yelled at me for my dinner being too spicy. The same dinner he denied stealing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 476

You deserved it 213

By sick of this shit - 12/03/2016 13:33 - United States - West Grove

Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 950

You deserved it 1 753

Haute cuisine

By youwouldbeacat - 28/04/2009 02:38 - United States

Today, I was making a nacho and grabbed some refried beans that were in a plastic container out of the fridge and put them on top of the chips. After I’m completely done eating my mom looks in the fridge and asked me if I knew where the cat food was. I just ate a small can of cat food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 749

You deserved it 53 578

FerrariCake 2

Sunday 17 January 2010 10:32

Ummmm... what? You're surprised because a six year old took Spaghetti-O's and left the green beans? Really?

waspbr 4

Sunday 17 January 2010 10:29

technically he didn't steal anything since you said it was alright.

Comments

24788 6

Sunday 17 January 2010 11:02

What this is an fml? Speghetti o's missing?

MysteryJoker 5

Sunday 17 January 2010 11:11

Clearly you've never had Spaghetti-O's before. You'll never understand until you do.

omgcookeys 15

Tuesday 26 July 2011 7:31

I don't like spaghetti o's... I'm bound to get a million thumbs down, I just know it.

areveillonen 4

Sunday 17 January 2010 11:22

agreed

sciencexgeek 0

Sunday 17 January 2010 11:23

I agree with #4

Cartain 0

Sunday 17 January 2010 11:27

Today I followed a link to this FML. FML.

areveillonen 4

Sunday 17 January 2010 11:28

poor dad

areveillonen 4

Sunday 17 January 2010 11:29

poor dad

areveillonen 4

Sunday 17 January 2010 11:31

poor dad

yermaw 0

Sunday 17 January 2010 11:35

does the OP have to be dying for it to be an FML ? c'mon, its just entertainment.

lyndis_fml 0

Sunday 17 January 2010 12:03

At the bare minimum OP has to have NOT said "Sure, take whatever you want" and then whined "Oh mai gawd he did exactly what I said he could do."

Octwo 16

Sunday 17 January 2010 11:42

one dastardly child, one pantry without spaghetti-o's, one life totally f'd..."Comment Rage," coming to an fml near you.

bootje 5

Sunday 17 January 2010 11:44

I'm not buying the "school project" excuse. You got owned!

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The Top

Today, I told my wife I had a huge Zoom interview and could not be disturbed under any circumstances. Nevertheless, she called her mom, got into a screaming argument the interviewer could clearly hear, then came into my office to cry on my shoulder. She doesn't understand why I'm furious with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 77

Today, I went to my room to find my girlfriend on the floor, butt up, with her pants down. I elatedly took the invitation and dropped my pants too, only for her to tell me, "Not so fast champ, I'm trying to force some farts out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 471

The Top

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 114

Today, I was out horse riding. Some say that riding isn’t a sport, but I can swear that chasing after a horse that has just thrown you off is really tiring! FML

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 77

Today, I forgot my key inside my apartment. My boyfriend suggested we ask a neighbor to open it. I explained we don't all have the same key, to which he responded, "Well how come they all have the same doorknobs?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 247

You deserved it 5 222

Today, at my job as a police officer, I had to arrest my own girlfriend for having sex at Walmart. She tried to get me to let her out on the grounds of being "pretty" and dating me. She wants to continue the relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 272

You deserved it 570

Today, my car horn got some sort of short and started beeping every 20 seconds or so. On the way to get it fixed, I got stuck in bumper to bumper traffic. Behind a cop car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 022

You deserved it 128

Today, I realized that my girlfriend and I have no shared hobbies. We used to. She's stopped doing them with me and instead does them with someone else. No worries, he's "just a friend", although she did tell me she has a crush on him. But "nothing's going to happen" because "he doesn't feel the same". FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 99

Same thing different taste

Lunch Special

Epipen time!

Confused

Haute cuisine

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