You're getting downvoted by idiots who don't get the reference. You made me chuckle at least.

Little hard to do when she has the same name as me with different spelling..

THE PLOT THICKENS

OP, lol!

Guess you don't have many best friends.. otherwise you'd know you can have more than one best friend....

I'll start by answering your question with a question, why does my husband have to be my best friend? I love my husband dearly, but no he is not my BEST friend. While we do talk about pretty well everything, sometimes it's nice to have outside prospective, or someone to be on my side when we are arguing. He knows about my (former) friend, and he knows the kind of relationship we had. I've know my friend much longer than my husband and some things I could talk to him about and he'd understand better than my husband would because we grew up in the same area so he already knows the backstory of things or the people I'm talking about without me having to go into an explanation before venting or telling a story. My husband does have female friends, and if he had a female best friend from before I was around, so long as he was honest and open about the friendship the way I was with mine it wouldn't be a problem.

No one is implying especially OP that she has more than one best friend. What do you consider to be a best friend? Are you married? Does your husband have a lot of female best friends? How would you feel about your husband having female best friends who he might be more vocal to than you? A lot of questions right? All hypothetical unless we are in the same situation. That's why its so easy for you to think this is no big deal. But it is a big deal that OP's best friend has decided to end his communication/relationship with her.

this really just doesn't make sense.. it's a big deal because of that fact that op best friend's financée doesn't trust him enough to realize that op is ONLY a best friend and she herself is happily married.

#88, rockergal. Are you engaged or married? If you are married, please describe what your husband is and means to you, and please describe what a male best friend is and means to you. I think you consider them to be different even though you want all of them to be part of your life. I say all of them because you probably have more than one best friend and some might be men.

Do you realise just how creepy you are being #94? Only because you aren't able to have a trusting relationship doesn't give you the right to play twenty creepy, personal questions with women on the Internet.

Asking questions regarding this post is creepy. I haven't given any opinion or judged anyone here. I know I'm online and can voice my opinion and ask questions, but I can at least show my face. Creepy is the person who is afraid to show their face but comment and label strangers online. And in no way have I offended OP by asking her questions. She followed up and posted some more information. Not everyone here will have the same point of view as you.

Frankmz....something is very wrong with you. Do you think something is wrong with you?

#116, Thank you, I think? You say something is wrong with me, who knows what, according to you? Then you ask me, if something is wrong with me? Does that make any sense? Or did you mean to ask or say something else?

"if he had a female best friend from before I was around, so long as he was honest and open about the friendship the way I was with mine it wouldn't be a problem." It wouldn't be a problem for you. But not everyone is like you. His fiancée has a lot of other experiences and maybe a lot of them are bad. Also she could have a different definition of friendships e.g. some people act more emotionally and more physical towards their friends than other do towards their s.o. Even over the internet, although you said you knew each other very well before moving away. Moreover, you being married doesn't mean that much. You could still have an affair. And to all the people who say that his fiancée is abusive or controlling: It's her life, too. If she is uncomfortable with OP being too close it is her decision. She doesn't have an obligation to marry him anyways.

"It wouldn't be a problem for you. But not everyone is like you. His fiancée has a lot of other experiences and maybe a lot of them are bad." Then his fiancee needs time, or therapy, to get over her past experiences so she can be a secure individual ready for a loving, trusting relationship with someone else. She shouldn't have her husband cut off contact with his closest friends just so she can be happy. At best, it's selfish. At worst, it's a form of abusive and controlling behaviour. My husband had several exes who cheated on him. Understandably, he was easily jealous and had insecurities when I met him. (He still gets a little jealous now and then, but I think I've earned his trust). Because I knew his past, I've made an extra effort to always be honest and forthcoming about everything, and I told him he's allowed to ask anything or share any feelings, I won't get mad or laugh so long as he's being honest. Some of the most ludicrous things he's told me includes a fear I got it on with my best friend (who's a girl, by the way) during our relationship. While the three of us were all in the same house. (He knew it was an irrational fear). That's the thing, he can ask me where I'm going or what happened or he can share his irrational fears and I will always be patient and help him through it, but he knows that if he ever starts making demands or accusations at me I will flare with righteous indignation and (if it becomes a pattern) leave. So there you have it - my fiance (now husband) had a lot of bad experiences, had trust issues, but he still always knew that he was the one being irrational, and he was willing to work through it with me without ever requiring me to dump my friends for him. And from what he's told me of his life and childhood, he has gone through some vicious betrayals (romantic and otherwise). Aside from his own parents, nearly everyone he's trusted has let him down hard, and when I first met him he was an absolute mess. So maybe I'm a little biased, but if he can still show trust and respect to his s.o., anyone can. "Moreover, you being married doesn't mean that much. You could still have an affair." If you think that the ONLY way you can ensure your partner in life will stay faithful to you, is to make him or her cut all close relationships with their friends of the opposite sex, then you are either a) marrying the wrong person or b) shouldn't be marrying anyone at all. Why would you marry someone whose personal life you have to make decisions for, apparently, in order to keep around? How is such a person your equal? If you can't even trust them to abstain from sex with their friends, what are you doing getting into a lifetime commitment with them? Seriously, why are you marrying them? (****, sorry for the long post. #End rant.)

So you think everyone who experienced e.g. a bad ex should get therapy? You also know that a lot of our behaviour is based on our characters, right? And you don't send people to a therapist to change their character. Like I said, some people have more distance to their friends and some even get very physical with them. What may be a normal level to OP might not be a normal level to the fiancée. That's just character and you don't go to therapy for that. We only know OPs best friend's decision but we don't know shit about what OPs best friend and his fiancée talked about. So don't just assume that the fiancée went from normal to controlling crazy in 2 seconds and the best friend just obeyed. Maybe they just talked it all out like you and your husband do all the time and this was the conclusion. It doesn't even mean that she wants him to cut out all of his friends of the opposite sex. Nobody here and not even OP knows what the real problem is. As someone already stated, best friends can have a lot of impact and maybe the fiancée thinks OP is bad influence. "Moreover, you being married doesn't mean that much. You could still have an affair." I wrote this in response to OP stating that the fiancée has nothing to worry about because she herself is married. But this doesn't mean much. You can be more jealous of a married person who is too physical or too emotional with your s.o. than you are about a single person who doesn't show any interest at all. People cheat and they don't just cheat with single persons. I mean in order to call it cheating at least one has to be in a relationship/marriage.

"So you think everyone who experienced e.g. a bad ex should get therapy?" If it is affecting them to the point where they feel the need to give out controlling ultimatums to someone they are supposed to start a committed, loving and trusting relationship with, yes. "You also know that a lot of our behaviour is based on our characters, right? And you don't send people to a therapist to change their character." Wrong again. When character traits are abusive or hurtful to others, therapy may be required. Actually, there's a whole load of mental illnesses in the DSM that are LITERALLY in the 'personality disorders' category. Psychopathy being one of them. If someone had serious anger issues and regularly got physically violent, that may too just be part of his/her 'character'. He/she VERY likely also has childhood issues or experiences which explain the anger issues. That doesn't justify the anger issues or mean he/she doesn't need help. "Don't just assume that the fiancée went from normal to controlling crazy in 2 seconds and the best friend just obeyed." It doesn't matter how long it takes you to go controlling crazy, whether it's 2 seconds, 2 months or 2 decades. If you go 'controlling crazy', time to take a big step back. "Maybe they just talked it all out like you and your husband do all the time and this was the conclusion." Still irrelevant. Fiance gave the guy an ultimatum - either dump the friend, or he won't be marrying her. It doesn't matter how nicely you phrase that or how amicably you may have reached such a 'conclusion'. It's still wrong. If you feel the need to demand shit from your husband/wife like this, where's the trust and respect? "It doesn't even mean that she wants him to cut out all of his friends of the opposite sex. Nobody here and not even OP knows what the real problem is." Actually, we all do. The real problem is the fiance can't trust her husband-to-be, but instead of leaving him or sorting out the trust issues, she has to dictate what friends he can have. Because that's tooootaallly healthy. Like I know I'm being harsh and yes, this is a personal topic for me because I have witnessed my mother rip a marriage apart because of her trust issues and insecurities - and myself having experienced the wrath of her false accusations as well so many times over I have vowed to 1) never accuse or suspect people of wrongdoing unless I have reason to think they are untrustworthy and 2) never put up with that shit again from others. In all honesty though, if you can't trust your significant other to stay faithful to you unless you have a say in his/her friendship life, then I mean this in the kindest way possible - you need to find someone who you can trust (or, you need to deal with whatever it is that's stopping you from trusting others). Because unless you are some sort of scum, I don't see why you should be settling for someone you can't trust to resist temptation. Don't you think you deserve better than someone who would happily cheat on you or leave you for their best friend without your 'intervention'?