Miscellaneous: Today, my best friend threw my football over a wall, so we hopped...

By Anonymous - 01/11/2011 09:03 - United States

Today, my best friend threw my football over a wall, so we hopped over to go and get it. Next thing we know, we're both surrounded by men pointing guns in our faces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 397

You deserved it 7 543

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Same thing different taste

By Jimmy - 02/08/2019 12:00 - Australia

Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a skinhead sucker-punched me in the gut, grabbed my football, and ran away, giggling like a maniac. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 445

You deserved it 139

By Username - 28/02/2012 00:37 - United States

Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 584

You deserved it 3 048

Ballin'

By oww - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 055

You deserved it 722

By Z - 26/11/2012 10:26 - Australia

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 793

You deserved it 25 010

Crusin' for a bruisin'

By burr415 - 20/04/2012 22:55 - Sweden - Hägersten

Today, my friend was waiting outside the store while I bought a newspaper. Through the window, I saw two guys getting physical with him, so I went outside and they took off. I muttered, "Yeah, I thought so." They then turned around and beat the crap out of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 660

You deserved it 26 442

Run!

By Anonymous - 05/11/2011 01:21 - United States

Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 808

You deserved it 37 583

By Name - 11/07/2009 04:20 - United States

Today, I was playing tennis with my friend. He hit a ball up high, and I slammed it down, thinking there was no way he would get it. Feeling pretty good about it, I turned around to celebrate. As I turned around, I got smacked in my face. He got it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 577

You deserved it 56 179

End me

By Daniel_rules - 17/04/2009 17:02 - United States

Today, my friend was pulled over and told to get out of the car. The officer motioned for me to get out of the car too so I reached behind me to get my shoes. He then pointed his gun at my face and frantically asked my friend if I had a gun. My friend calmly replied, "No, but shoot him anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 229

You deserved it 10 165

By Anonymous - 19/09/2014 15:30 - United States - Montpelier

Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 535

You deserved it 5 261

By Anonymous - 30/06/2015 12:56 - Turkey - Istanbul

Today, I was at my best friend's wedding. As she threw the bouquet, I was punched in the face by another bridesmaid. Later, as I was explaining what had happened, I punched myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 388

You deserved it 7 776

bloomspetals 0

Tuesday 1 November 2011 16:15

what'd you do, jump into an army base?

iDaniel525 8

Tuesday 1 November 2011 16:16

THUG LIFE.

Comments

megapeyt 17

Tuesday 1 November 2011 17:31

They live next door to Navy SEAL team 6, and Navy SEAL team 6 lost their football last week. You're screwed dude

bullkaka4 1

Tuesday 1 November 2011 17:36

say hello to my little friend!

dadof2 4

Tuesday 1 November 2011 17:38

way to finish the story was it a break in or a hillbilly reunion good job

pharmbrooke35 0

Tuesday 1 November 2011 18:03

Did you jump over the boarder or something?? oh wait they greet you at the boarder now-a-days! Nevermind!!

dougierocks 13

Tuesday 1 November 2011 19:30

Only if you are going North... Try going South and they shoot you, or throw you in prison.

tommyfox 19

Tuesday 1 November 2011 18:19

Why would they want a football that much???

youtubetre_fml 14

Tuesday 1 November 2011 18:35

Football haters ??

Poetaster 10

Tuesday 1 November 2011 18:39

That's not a gun mate.. *zipppp*.. This, is a gun!

codyFML 0

Tuesday 1 November 2011 19:36

That jokes outdated

acul0707 0

Tuesday 1 November 2011 19:02

Cod fanboys

neuf77 1

Tuesday 1 November 2011 19:14

Good thing you and your buddy were not wearing SWAT tshirts or sonething of that nature

StromyG2 10

Tuesday 1 November 2011 19:23

were you also wearing ski masks, gloves and/or a sign that said "rapist"?

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my longtime crush, who turned me down because he’s “sick of women”, just got into a relationship. He made it Facebook official, with photos of them and everything. Wanting to even the score, I commented, “So it seems your sickness of women is cured, huh?” He bitched at me for “ruining his moment” and deleted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 1 027

USA, USA, USA; well, almost. Today we're not welcoming a French artist, not even an American artist, but an artist from... oh, you'll see! Are you in a hurry or something? Why can't we just sit down, have a nice cup of tea and talk about the future? ...

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 15

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 732

You deserved it 36 358

Today, I was sitting at an airport bar when my flight, which was only supposed to leave in an hour, showed up as "Final call for boarding." I ran through the airport, only to find out they hadn't started boarding yet. Fucking Ryanair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 744

You deserved it 121

Today, my mom left for a bachelorette party. She forgot a gift, so she called me and made me go into her closet, pick out a sex toy from the "box of gag gifts", and bring it to her. Should I pick anal beads or a cock ring? FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 897

You deserved it 5 039

Today, at my minimum wage job, we received a half-way decomposed dog found in a lake. It was my job to tear open the bag and try to identify the breed and color. It would've been easier if the body wasn't crawling with maggots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 530

You deserved it 1 832

Today, I walked in on my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 601

You deserved it 4 509

Today, I accidentally walked in on my dad as he was getting changed. Now I know genetics can be a real bitch. With such a massive difference in size, I have to question whether I'm even biologically related to this old three-legged git. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 078

You deserved it 3 637