Become the master.

Why do you still have it then??

That ended better than I imagined, it could be self inflected

Sounds like someone is going to make a delivery to a nearby unnamed restaurant...

Things that work: regular nail trimming. NOT at all declawing, it's the same as clipping your own nails. Be sure you have stypic powder if you do it yourself, but in your case a groomer or vet would be much safer. It also may be a good idea to talk to a vet and a cat behaviorist since this appears to be an ongoing problem. Good luck!

OP, I hope you washed the scratches. Cat scratches can become infected fairly easily, and you can possibly get cat scratch fever.

Ditch the cat then

Honestly, this sounds like your cat has some sort of problem. This is not normal behaviour. My first guess would be that it's lonely. Do you own other cats? Because they need others to play and cuddle with. A human can never play with a cat like another cat can. Ours attack each other when they're bored as a way to show their intentions, with claws out and everything. It's just the way they act. If your cat is alone at home for hours then it is probably bored out of its mind and wants to interact with you. You shouldn't beat or declaw it as some people here suggest, that's the same as beating your child for spilling some juice. There are animal behaviourists who can help you if you don't know what to do on your own. Also if your cat is a single, the first step would be to get another cat (you need to inform yourself though! Cats have personalities and they need to match). You could also try to seek counsel in a cat-related forum or from a vet/shelter worker. Good luck OP!

Kill it with fire

this is why i love dogs