Work: Today, my boss made me some tortellini for lunch. As I was happily...

By meaganlea - 23/02/2010 05:17 - Canada

Today, my boss made me some tortellini for lunch. As I was happily eating it, he started to give me a massage, while talking to his friends in Greek. He told me that he said "She's my #1 cashier." Turns out, what he really said was "See, if you feed them well, they let you touch them." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 018

You deserved it 6 099

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Same thing different taste

By weirded out - 11/08/2014 02:22 - United States - Brentwood

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

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By EmployeeOfTheMonth - 27/06/2009 07:03 - United States

Today, my attractive boss sat me down in the break room to say how much she appreciated how much work I've been doing despite being a temp. She was wearing a skirt, and I couldn't take my eyes off her legs. She then patted me on the leg and said "Good Talk". It wasn't my leg. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/01/2012 00:26 - United States

Today, while working at a pizza place with my girlfriend, I called my boss to tell him we were short on sausage. Under her breath I heard my girlfriend say, "sounds like somebody I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 092

You deserved it 4 743

Dat ass

By brandonborgie - 10/08/2021 04:01 - Australia

Today, my boss slapped me on the ass and said, "Good work, princess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 261

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By niceboss - 25/11/2010 02:32 - Singapore

Today, on my first day of work, my new boss treated me to lunch. Thinking she was really nice, I thanked her for the treat. She fixed me with a cold, unsmiling stare and said, "Oh, don't thank me. I'm being paid to do this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 735

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By Anonymous - 05/07/2009 12:11 - United States

Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't need this." She then gave me her number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 985

You deserved it 3 447

By Anonymous - 06/07/2012 02:13 - United States

Today, I was called into my first day of work as a cashier. Not even 30 minutes into training, my boss had already "accidentally" touched my ass 7 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 287

You deserved it 2 731

Creeper alert!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boss came over to my desk and struck up a casual conversation about movies. After a while, he sat on the edge of my desk, nodded toward my chest, and said in the same casual, lighthearted tone, "And nice cleavage today. Keep that up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 746

You deserved it 13 843

Creep in chief

By wow @ creepy fuckers - 17/11/2012 01:06 - United States

Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 163

You deserved it 6 151

Unionize!

By Anonymous - 09/09/2019 04:00 - United States

Today, my boss told me he was going to start taking money out of my pay, because his wife makes us lunch. I work for my dad, and he wants to start charging me because my mom makes me a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 053

You deserved it 234

immafiremylaser 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 12:27

Why were you not put off by the initial fact that your boss was giving you a massage? And how did you find out? Did his friends tell you? Do you speak Greek, OP?

pandemic_fml 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 12:33

Well, OP, apparently he wasn't lying, since you let him do it. I would never let any of my bosses touch me like that. It's not like you can claim sexual harassment, considering it seemed like you enjoyed it until you realized he knew the true way into your little shell.

Comments

g3rusz 6

Tuesday 23 February 2010 17:01

Your boss is a funny guy. OP, you are kind of a humorless person, I feel a bit sorry for you...

i_love_your_sox 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 17:04

i love you #36. that was beautiful. i love your socks as well.

i_love_your_sox 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 17:07

whooopsssss i meant 30. no offense 36. whoever you are.

your_face 15

Tuesday 23 February 2010 17:07

You mean it feels better until one of you realizes you have an STD.

blastvortex 3

Tuesday 23 February 2010 18:00

Haha. Your boss knows what's up. It's not like you couldn't have done something about it. BTW, tortellini is not capitalized. People don't capitalize non-proper nouns like pizza, manicotti, or ravioli, so I can't even understand why on Earth someone would do that.

alexisthename 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 18:14

I never stop loving the irony of "Your a dumbass" comments.

kikiface 1

Tuesday 23 February 2010 18:17

haha #66, good to know i'm not alone

FlyPhoenix 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 18:29

that is just creepy...I would hate to be you.

Miss_SD 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 18:56

new to fml what does OP mean it's prob. something that I'm going to like ohhh duhh. but will sum1 explain. and video tape the boss next time then sue for harrassment, never work again!