Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time....

By Anonymous - 19/04/2013 05:14 - Canada - Clairmont

Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 913

You deserved it 10 267

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

The Force

By RobinBunny713 - 19/07/2011 03:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic moment when I made a Star Wars reference. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I said it or the fact that he seemed more turned on by it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 802

You deserved it 34 377

By McKenna - 16/07/2011 04:10 - United States

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 375

You deserved it 17 912

Remote sex

By Anonymous - 05/02/2020 05:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 379

You deserved it 353

Beam me up!

By saynotochrispine - 28/07/2009 04:15 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that we could try living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 313

You deserved it 7 959

War drums

By Taylor - 30/07/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend started singing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 233

You deserved it 10 684

By ChubbyTubby - 17/01/2010 18:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend humped me to the tune of the Imperial March from Star Wars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 659

You deserved it 6 721

Bragging

By lastalittlelonger - 05/12/2009 09:07 - United States

Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 726

You deserved it 3 173

In the mood

By wickedbeauty333 - 26/09/2012 22:54 - United States - Katy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he came. This was a good thing, except that when he did, he started bellowing the Imperial March theme from Star Wars. When I asked him about it, all he said was, "I thought you'd like it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 597

You deserved it 4 203

By May - 04/09/2011 04:08 - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star Trek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 814

You deserved it 6 263

By Jamie - 10/03/2010 20:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex when he stopped responding. Five minutes later and ready to hang up, he apologized because he got distracted with his game of Tetris. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 906

You deserved it 3 997

Palirose 22

Friday 19 April 2013 12:02

Your boyfriend sounds awesome. :) he's definitely a keeper!

Talooka 10

Friday 19 April 2013 12:11

R2 want the D2?

Comments

ironichalibut 24

Friday 19 April 2013 12:12

Didn't want any Wookie Nookie?

eur0 14

Friday 19 April 2013 12:16

Well you gotta have patience , thats why most doctors make the best jedi.

ironichalibut 24

Friday 19 April 2013 12:21

And most Jedi make great doctors

Not_Impressed13 9

Friday 19 April 2013 12:19

"Pull out! You're not doing any good back there!"

Not_Impressed13 9

Friday 19 April 2013 12:21

"Judge me by my size, do you? Hmmm?"

Julianne_sings 10

Friday 19 April 2013 12:23

Jedi in the streets, Sith in the sheets.

simplysarcastics 26

Friday 19 April 2013 13:49

Good one

AboveAll04 14

Friday 19 April 2013 19:25

take the D this one can !

landon_loe11 16

Friday 19 April 2013 12:25

A Jedi never gives up.

Thatsjank 5

Friday 19 April 2013 12:32

Enslaved 36

Friday 19 April 2013 12:37

Help me, OP - Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope! :P

0h_Boy 26

Friday 19 April 2013 12:39

"You like my lightsaber, don't you?" "You're gonna make me unleash the force." "I love playing with your Jawas." What? That didn't turn you on?

enormouselephant 15

Friday 19 April 2013 14:41

Woah baby, this might just get moderated.

homiwan 13

Friday 19 April 2013 12:42

the virginity is strong in this one!

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work My ex Jealousy Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my laptop was slow so I used my husband’s laptop. I went to the bedroom and found it opened, so I moved the trackpad and it powered on. The first thing I see is a page with redhead porn, and another tab with nude redheads. You know who else is a redhead? The new girl at his job he tells me not to worry about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 132

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves, so I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview, I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202 612

You deserved it 51 979

The Top

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 962

You deserved it 11 822

Today, I’m doing the 5 km bike ride to the grocery store. As always, I'm well equipped: Shopping bags, shopping list, pen, sunglasses, hat, sunscreen, raincoat, tampons, tissues, lip balm, water bottle… Anything I forgot? Aaah, yes. Money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 294

Today, I took a friend out for what I thought was date. After dinner was over and I paid, she pulled the bill out and wrote her name phone number on it for the waiter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 402

You deserved it 3 662

Today, my date cried because his mom recently died. Of course, I was sympathetic because I'm a nice person, but he tried to leverage my sympathy into a blowjob in the restaurant toilet. Since we "obviously weren't going to work as a real couple", it was apparently "the least I could do to make him feel better." Creep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 402

You deserved it 198

Today, while parking, I accidentally hit my landlord's daughter's brand new car. I made a huge dent in the side door. I thought nobody was home, so I quickly went to my room. Turns out they were having a barbecue outside and saw the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 400

You deserved it 51 878

Today, my girlfriend tried to distract me from an argument I was winning by taking off her clothes for sex. Then she got mad when I told her to grow up and get dressed. By the way, the fight was over how she threw my mom's ashes in the trash, I don’t care if we never have sex again, I’m gonna win this argument. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 169

You deserved it 247