Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship...

By petpeeeve - 11/03/2009 02:53 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship and it was great. He drove me back to my house and walked me to the door, then instead of kissing me goodbye he patted me on the back. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113 897

You deserved it 10 284

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By disapointed girl - 28/12/2009 16:58 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 008

You deserved it 5 892

Congrats

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 22:44 - Canada - Rosetown

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 822

You deserved it 8 593

By Kylee Day - 27/08/2019 06:00

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for a second time. When I was getting dressed afterwards with him sitting next to me, there was a silence. To break it, he grabbed my hand and fistbumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 546

You deserved it 410

First time?

By Anonymous - 29/11/2013 11:56 - United States - Westminster

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 286

You deserved it 6 901

Instructions

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 05:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 143 567

You deserved it 16 444

By trina - 22/03/2009 09:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I started stroking the back of his neck with both of my hands. He told me, "Your hands are nice and smooth like my grandmother's." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 406

You deserved it 7 977

By Confused - 22/08/2012 16:33 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 767

You deserved it 4 416

Waste

By Annie - 31/08/2011 03:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 818

You deserved it 5 301

Quickie

By Anonymous - 20/06/2023 15:00

Today, I walked to my boyfriend's house, which takes literally 2 minutes since we are also neighbours. He wanted sex straight away. The walk took longer than the sex, by over a full minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 031

You deserved it 207

By JoshuasGirl - 23/12/2013 19:13 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 098

You deserved it 6 453

jSOPURE 3

Wednesday 11 March 2009 9:31

You had bad breath? ;)

render 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 9:36

Wow lmao, that must feel terrible. (Hey, I remember I checked "Yes" to this FML while moderating!)

Comments

notsousual 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 16:49

Well think of it this way, at least he walked you to the door instead of slowing down to 10mph and pushing your ass out of the car. :P

Art_Vandeley 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 17:33

I would have done the same thing. A little slap on the ass so what?!

rebboy_2008 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 18:34

If you gave him head he probably just didn't want to kiss the mouth that just had his **** in it. Just saying, he probably just doesn't like the taste of dick.

Justinc_ 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 19:14

Maybe you should have brushed your teeth after gargling his balls? Just a suggestion.

Leviathan_fml 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 19:15

maybe he didn't know what to do?

m0nicam0nster 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 19:24

I think it was just an awkward time for both of you. The same happened to me. We were comfortable, it was great, but its still the first time....ya know? It will get less awk.

adreamdesigned 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 19:57

Hmm.. your life isn't ****** or anything, but at the same time that's kinda harsh. I agree the above poster, he probably felt awkward, and afterward he probably felt bad about not giving you a kiss.

sillypun 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 20:35

#8 is on the right track. no guy wants to make out with you after the *******. "don't have sex man. sex leads to kissing and pretty soon you actually have to start talking to them"