Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I ordered pizza and watched a movie....

By oumalina - 12/08/2010 01:54 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I ordered pizza and watched a movie. After dinner we started to make out. I began to take my clothes off when he stopped me. He said that sex is exercise and you can't exercise for 30 minutes after eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 069

You deserved it 8 421

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Same thing different taste

By elisimo - 24/01/2012 08:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 564

You deserved it 35 861

By Anonymous - 10/02/2012 05:31 - United States

Today, things were getting hot with my boyfriend and I started to breathe heavy and moan. He then says to me, "Babe, can you calm down, we're having sex not running a marathon." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 975

You deserved it 7 285

Denied!

By Hystcheria - 25/07/2021 02:01 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I told my long-distance boyfriend that I'd like to throw my legs over my head and have him cram his dick deep inside me. He told me to order a pizza, "It'd be more fun." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 228

You deserved it 218

By Anonymous - 22/04/2013 20:16 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning how to spend the day together. When I suggested we start off with some fun in bed, then get some pizza and play his favorite video game, he sighed, "Can't we just go straight to gaming?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 036

You deserved it 8 452

By fatgirl - 16/05/2010 04:08 - United States

Today, I was eating pizza with my boyfriend and my friends. I was laughing and talking and went for another piece when my boyfriend grabbed my wrist and said that I had had enough. My friends all backed him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 009

You deserved it 10 732

Break time

By Samantha K - 19/10/2020 20:08

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he stopped and got dressed. Naked and confused, I figured he’d be right back. Yeah, 20 minutes later with a plate of food for himself. So much for sex. It would've been nice if he told me though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 608

You deserved it 207

By jessica - 02/02/2011 20:59 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 363

You deserved it 7 467

Romantic afterglow

By easyontheeyes1 - 01/05/2020 02:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Immediately after we'd finished, he said, "Get off, you're making it hard to breathe on top of me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 770

You deserved it 490

Hard to believe

By Anonymous - 02/01/2020 18:00

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 375

You deserved it 579

By Patricia - 01/10/2011 23:30 - United States

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 569

You deserved it 5 722

_streets_ 19

Thursday 12 August 2010 9:19

haha isn't that the rule for swimming or something

Raleigh_bruh 7

Thursday 12 August 2010 9:23

The real Fml here is that you two made out after eating pizza.. Not a very appetizing taste you want in your mouth mixed with someone else's saliva. :/

Comments

shadyecko 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 9:25

Bahahahaha ydi for attempting to fornicate ydi for eating pizza ydi for wearing clothes ydi for having a boyfriend

twinny_sc 13

Thursday 12 August 2010 9:33

You suck at using spaces.

lickmyjock 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 11:27

Oh yeah? I put the "O" in fornicate.

roflinyourwaffle 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 15:43

i put the "cat" in fornicate. wait...what?

drakeforever 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 9:25

o wow the op doesn't know when it's the right time to do u know what(;

ninba20 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 9:26

lol nice way to tell u he doesn't want sex...at lease 0.o

christyxoxo 8

Thursday 12 August 2010 9:26

fyl op.

worms85 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 9:32

that is an old wives tale. just like sitting too close to the tv, yadda yadda. maybe u need to figure out why he REALLY didn't wanna have sex...

polopony 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 12:48

Agree. Like the one about masturbation will make you go blind. Hey, why is it getting dark in here? Oh shit...

mnemonicdaze 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 9:35

Op should tell her boyfriend that after eating all those carbs a great cardio work out is really needed.

mrniceguykt 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 9:39

mhmm good excuse not to have sex if you ever stuck and a sticky situation...." oh gosh darn it, we just ate food... guess we can't have sex for 30minutes.... *runs away*" lol

TropicalTulipz 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 9:42

dam ur boyfriend really must not want you....my bf is up for it anytime..

darko212 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 9:48

Your boyfriend just used that excuse as a cover up to conceal his homosexuality.

zoe7day 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 9:55

I think that's cute... And that shows he's concerned about your health! Why does everybody keep on saying that the boyfriend is gay? He may just be over-protective :)