Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up...

By Anonymous - 06/12/2013 21:37 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 090

You deserved it 6 008

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Same thing different taste

By Embarassed - 10/09/2009 05:32 - Canada

Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 597

You deserved it 8 129

By Light Sleeper - 14/10/2012 04:24 - United States - Evansville

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 032

You deserved it 4 495

By Anonymous - 04/12/2013 22:08 - United States - Marsing

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 470

You deserved it 12 273

It's sus

By Anonymous - 04/01/2011 09:01 - New Zealand

Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 140

You deserved it 10 355

Hot and humid

By drooler - 06/08/2009 02:23 - United States

Today, I was watching a movie with my new boyfriend. I got tired so I thought it would be cute to fall asleep on him. He woke me up and said, "You got me wet." Thinking it was a joke, I said smoothly, "That's what she said!" He replied "No, really." I looked down, I'd drooled all over his shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 314

You deserved it 40 787

You probably do

By Anonymous - 09/08/2021 22:01

Today, I woke up after a really intense wet dream. Problem is, I'd fallen asleep in the living room. My little brother saw the whole thing. Now he's going around telling family I need to get some. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 149

You deserved it 231

By Darcy - 26/10/2011 06:58 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 570

You deserved it 4 582

By cutiekenz21 - 31/07/2011 00:45 - United States

Today, my boyfriend's mother walked in on us having sex. He started crying and ran into the bathroom where my clothes were located, leaving me to deal with his mother. Naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 802

You deserved it 8 376

Thanks!

By uh-oh - 21/07/2009 19:45 - United States

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, dropped a condom on the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 120

You deserved it 30 921

That was quick

By Anonymous - 09/09/2012 12:03 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 565

You deserved it 6 832

rgri 11

Saturday 7 December 2013 5:25

Try to convince him to wear a condom everytime he takes a nap, just to be safe.

ipierson 5

Saturday 7 December 2013 5:23

This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

Comments

carelessxdanger 9

Saturday 7 December 2013 5:59

you need a more mature, less idiotic boyfriend.

bazookajoey 27

Saturday 7 December 2013 6:15

Your boyfriend is an idiot

kingkevin2001 9

Saturday 7 December 2013 6:33

I would burn your clothes. lol jk but I wouldn't wear them in public. Ever.

Fmlsea 28

Saturday 7 December 2013 6:41

how old is he 5 ?

Fmlsea 28

Saturday 7 December 2013 6:42

how old is he 5? his parents didnt do a good job teaching him.

Rainhawk94 27

Saturday 7 December 2013 18:19

Your mom is 5

jenlazpach 7

Saturday 7 December 2013 6:48

The real question here is, how old are you because if he thinks that he can't be old enough to have a girlfriend.

awilliams44 9

Saturday 7 December 2013 6:58

Did it....?

doggy1230 5

Saturday 7 December 2013 7:15

Haha, the fear of forced child support brings unimaginable paranoia....

Axel5238 29

Saturday 7 December 2013 7:22

I'd be a little more than worried if he's that dumb. You might want to reconsider dating him.

katertott 44

Saturday 7 December 2013 8:29

Reminds me of how my bf overreacts to similar situations. -______-

kittylevin 8

Saturday 7 December 2013 8:47

Everyone is being so critical, but I'm guessing this was one of the things where you wake up suddenly and it seems like your dream is still happening. So you're like, "I STILL HAVE TO DELIVER THE MARSHMALLOWS" or in this case "I JUST GOT MY GIRLFRIEND PREGNANT OH GOD" and it takes a few minutes to realize that was a dream, and in reality it's all okay.

katties 27

Saturday 7 December 2013 9:48

I agree. My sister once fell asleep in the day and woke up in the evening. She thought she had slept for 24 hours and no one woke her and was panicking when she woke up. Of course she knows that that's actually impossible, but she seemed to still be partly in dream land the first few minutes after she woke up. I understand that the guy was freaked out if he had one of those dreams. Dreams can be very illogical and not everybody are aware about when they're dreaming.