Love: Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar....

By tine - 16/11/2014 09:44 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 592

You deserved it 3 775

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/03/2012 00:49 - United States - Dansville

Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 975

You deserved it 4 106

By wtf - 30/01/2015 09:00 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 596

You deserved it 2 657

He prefers the dog

By Anonymous - 19/11/2019 14:00

Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 999

You deserved it 370

Night terror

By Kira - 12/06/2021 04:01

Today, it was my first time sleeping at my boyfriend’s house. I happened to have an incredibly realistic nightmare in which I woke up to thousands of centipedes crawling all over my body. My boyfriend got to watch me scream and slap myself repeatedly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 106

By meow - 14/01/2010 04:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 771

You deserved it 4 494

By eightleggedtictac - 08/06/2014 15:10 - United States - Worcester

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 784

You deserved it 6 855

By animelover - 25/07/2010 23:21 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend came over while I was babysitting my little brother. He wouldn't stay in bed, so my boyfriend told him,"If you don't stay in bed, the monster will eat you!" I now have to wash my brother's bedsheets, because he was too afraid to get up and go pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 684

You deserved it 10 822

By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 315

You deserved it 5 073

By fartz - 31/08/2013 06:04 - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 520

You deserved it 8 107

By Scabby - 11/04/2012 09:53 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend pulling off scabs and eating them. My scabs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 500

You deserved it 3 641

Ohshitdude 21

Monday 17 November 2014 9:41

Not what i was expecting. ..

Juicenub 25

Monday 17 November 2014 9:41

Sometimes it are the small things that really bug you.

Comments

Murilirum 23

Monday 17 November 2014 12:07

Details op... Now!

RoyalSafari 26

Monday 17 November 2014 13:35

Sounds more like he was pretending to be a woodworm.

xThatOneWeirdGuy 18

Monday 17 November 2014 13:43

How does one break a bed pretending to be a caterpillar? This one definitely needs a follow-up

LocsOn 13

Monday 17 November 2014 13:50

sexxxy

EvilLittleMan 23

Monday 17 November 2014 14:02

Sounds like a plump caterpillar.

PurpleKicks 22

Monday 17 November 2014 16:02

Hahahaha that's sounds like something I'd do lol

cjwayy 22

Monday 17 November 2014 16:24

I have no idea how one pretends to be a caterpillar, or how you can break the bed doing so, but that is ******* hilarious.

tonyfan00 38

Monday 17 November 2014 17:15

I don't even know how to respond to that...

HarshD9619 34

Monday 17 November 2014 17:31

I had different ideas when I read broke the bed.

worldclassrager 39

Monday 17 November 2014 17:39

Was he alone pretending to be one?

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Management Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

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Today, my wedding limo driver got high and forgot to pick us up, so the photographers gave us a ride back to the venue from the photo shoot. Three bridesmaids, a flower girl, and I, in my full wedding dress, had to fit in the back of the 1997 Toyota Camry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 643

You deserved it 390

Today, I realized I’ve been saying “a whole nother” instead of “a whole other” my entire life. It wasn’t until my friend pointed it out with a smirk I’ve been speaking in an alternate universe. He was also the one to point out last year that my use of "like" every three words was "annoying and cringe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 417

The Top

Today, I had to go to the bathroom. I was in a rush, so I went into the boys bathroom. I then had diarrhea. The entire basketball team was waiting for me outside the stall. They did a slow clap for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 371

You deserved it 8 257

Today, I'm still not living in the house I fought so hard to buy three months ago. As I was fixing a hole in the wall, I found black mold covering the back side of my drywall. On every wall. I can't afford to fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 320

You deserved it 1 433

Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 410

You deserved it 32 999

Today, I was playing around on Photo Booth, using weird effects on pictures of myself. I clicked on one and thought to myself that it was a really ugly effect. Then I noticed that it was set on normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 283

You deserved it 26 792

Today, I was stuck in a room for eight hours with several guys doing impressions of Boomhauer from King of the Hill. Talkin' 'bout that dang ol' FML. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 154

Today, I was brushing my teeth. As a bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spit a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 637

You deserved it 8 428

Same thing different taste

He prefers the dog

Night terror

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