Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and... - FML

By Saradee - 24/12/2012 04:55 - United States - Inglewood

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 200

You deserved it 10 966

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

This ain't working out

By just a reaction - 17/08/2020 23:09

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a heated argument. He raised his hand like he was going to hit me. Having been hit by my ex before, I panicked and instinctively kicked his legs out from under him. He then dumped me because he said he was just gonna scare me, but I used real violence on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 056

You deserved it 337

Orders

By belljars - 18/04/2014 02:27 - United States - Riverside

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 177

You deserved it 9 148

Cool moves, bro

By Anonymous - 30/06/2012 09:45

Spicy

Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 367

You deserved it 5 692

By alltern8ive - 09/11/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt and stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 312

You deserved it 5 111

Kinky

By LaLa - 09/01/2012 05:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 784

You deserved it 7 879

By omgdesdes - 16/11/2014 01:29 - United States - Casselberry

Spicy

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 715

You deserved it 6 019

Sensitive snowflake

By onepussytwopussy - 07/03/2014 19:47 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 422

You deserved it 26 486

By I warned him - 19/12/2014 02:39 - United States - Marietta

Today, I beat my boyfriend in a video game. He promptly dumped me and told me to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 116

You deserved it 4 643

By myasshurts - 14/10/2011 23:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 734

You deserved it 6 665

Are you experienced?

By still laughing - 28/08/2015 21:48 - United States - Providence

Spicy

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend when he stood up on the bed to get a different experience. I started to get aggressive and pushed him up against the wall. I forgot our bed was on wheels and the bed started sliding away and his body slid down the wall. So much for being sexy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 514

You deserved it 5 109

Next

Top comments

HeyHeyFishFillet 34

Monday 24 December 2012 9:38

Wear a chastity belt next time and scream," YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"

Roguedork19 8

Monday 24 December 2012 9:44

No, this is Patrick. O.o

Comments

Brenda_Bruno 1

Sunday 30 December 2012 5:54

"NO THIS IS PATRICK"

cphtgirl 5

Sunday 30 December 2012 6:19

did he at least look like gerald butler?

cowsaysmooo 16

Tuesday 1 January 2013 1:29

sweet

Steel_BZ 8

Monday 7 January 2013 12:50

Hahahaha!! Priceless!

Yolandababy2 14

Thursday 10 January 2013 16:03

lol that is so funny

spectrefml 6

Wednesday 23 January 2013 2:47

Bahaha

esthrrn 5

Monday 4 February 2013 22:25

300 is mu favorite movie, so if someone did that to me I probably wouldn't mind

swimmerman5 5

Thursday 28 February 2013 7:40

FYL but that's ******* hilarious

horazon 3

Monday 8 April 2013 13:25

wow... thats funny. but sucks for you at the same time

Jechtael 10

Thursday 2 May 2013 13:03

FYL, but you've got to admit that it's funny. If I were in your situation, I'd probably dump him amidst gales of laughter (because it's actually pretty hilarious) and tears (because OWWWW).

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Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work My ex Jealousy Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I got home from a business trip and found my wife in bed with my sister. She tried to claim they had just had a girls' night and fell asleep watching a movie, even though when I caught them, they were naked, wet and my wife’s head was buried in my sister's crotch. Movie night, sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 786

You deserved it 148

Today, there was a long queue at the store, and behind me were two senior citizens. I wanted to do a good deed, so I said, "Cut before me in line, I have all the time in the world." My reward? The old man scolded me because I supposedly insinuated that they were old, and only had a short time left to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 423

You deserved it 13 444

The Top

Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 761

You deserved it 2 979

Today, I spent $50 buying flea bombs so not only my dogs, but my son could relax a little in my home instead of fighting off those tiny little circus bastards. Today, I got in my car and the fleas attacked me mercilessly until I got to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 656

You deserved it 434

Today, I got some spam stating that I'd have no love life in the coming 10 years if I didn't reply to it. So, no different to the last 10 years then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 510

You deserved it 2 894

Today, I was going to do some laundry, with the washer and dryer I bought off of Craigslist for 150 dollars. The washer leaks and the dryer doesn't dry. So I called the guy and left an angry message about how the washer flooded my kitchen. I'd actually just forgot to hook up the drain hose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 302

You deserved it 62 587

Today, my family is placing bets on my being pregnant. I'm experiencing a very painful miscarriage and no one knows. I didn't want to eat a pre-made gas station salad when I visited for lunch and apparently the only explanation could be pregnancy, not that I didn't want to die from food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 129

You deserved it 110

Today, my dad came home drunk at four in the morning. He walked into my room, screaming at me to wake up so he can kill zombies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 898

You deserved it 2 532