Health: Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives... - FML

By clashgurl8449 - 17/02/2011 08:08

Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives in them because he was concerned I did not poop enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 431

You deserved it 4 269

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Same thing different taste

Great boyfriend, part 2

By thanks a lot - 04/05/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend made me a latte. It tasted off, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I drank it. Turns out he put laxatives in it as a prank. The idiot couldn’t just use one or two. He used so many that I had to go to the ER for severe dehydration after puking and shitting for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 928

You deserved it 224

By dannij08 - 14/01/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 432

You deserved it 43 477

By Anonymous - 17/11/2009 20:05 - United States

Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 560

You deserved it 5 933

By Anonymous - 25/01/2011 00:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 351

You deserved it 4 404

Too much of a good thing

By tryingtoberomantic - 28/09/2019 14:00 - Australia

Today, I took my boyfriend out to dinner to an expensive restaurant. He overate, and now I have to nurse him through food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 436

You deserved it 256

By foreveralone - 13/01/2014 01:00 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 242

You deserved it 7 148

By Glutton - 28/01/2010 01:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 261

You deserved it 49 612

Survival mode

By Anonymous - 28/09/2023 10:00 - Germany

Today, my boyfriend scolded me for asking whether he’d like his favorite soup for lunch when he was, "in absolutely no shape to survive ingesting food." Two hours later he's greedily digging into an almost expired pack of cheap and nasty supermarket waffles from out of his bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 614

You deserved it 113

By n - 04/04/2015 18:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend made me breakfast because I had a cold. Because my nose was so stuffed, I couldn't tell that our milk had gone bad. I had two cups. And now I'm stuck on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 133

You deserved it 3 504

By SonofMnemosyne - 19/11/2018 07:30 - United States

Today, I have been on the toilet all day due to chocolate laxatives from trick-or-treating. Today, it is my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 534

You deserved it 315

Next

Top comments

CheaRight 0

Thursday 17 February 2011 16:08

At least he knows girls poop.. Remember the girl that had to use the gas station to poop because her boyfriend thought girls didn't poop? Would you prefer that?

Southerndatageek 2

Thursday 17 February 2011 17:02

I would dump him like a load of poop for giving me meds of any type without my knowledge. There is something just a little twisted in giving your girlfriend laxatives without her knowledge. Makes one wonder what else he has given you.

Comments

natcor8 0

Thursday 17 February 2011 18:40

How's this fml?

GreyJay 0

Thursday 17 February 2011 19:16

No shit?

kingtz 6

Thursday 17 February 2011 19:37

he was clearly getting her ready for some hot steamy anal...

Chamelionsun 0

Thursday 17 February 2011 19:37

Awe how sweet.......lmfao!

jbtheone_fml 5

Thursday 17 February 2011 19:43

he was trying to clean out your poop shoot, for some HRA

LLLLLove 0

Thursday 17 February 2011 20:20

Haha to funny

guppy40000 0

Thursday 17 February 2011 21:02

Your bf cares a little to much i think. Remind him he isnt a doctor, hopefully in future he doesnt try to medicate you for something else.

lewdude23 0

Thursday 17 February 2011 21:31

what a legend!

chicagolady 3

Thursday 17 February 2011 21:33

1. Your pooping schedule is your business 2. If he was concerned he should have talked to you 3. If it was serious enough to need laxatives, you would have taken them yourself 4. Eat more fiber

Fierfek_fml 0

Thursday 17 February 2011 21:52

How long have you guys been dating? Because that seems kinda stalkerish

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The Top

Today, I was on the webcam with my boyfriend. I could see that he was on the couch, and alone, so I took off my shirt and smiled, waiting to see his reaction. He smiled at me but then kept looking in another direction. I playfully asked "What's so distracting?" His answer: "History Channel". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 435

You deserved it 10 095

Today, I tried to talk to my teenage son about healthy masculinity. He said, "Yeah Mom, I know. Lift weights and eat red meat and fish. Can I go?" Not what I meant at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 368

The Top

Today, I found out my husband's new income since leaving his old job. He decided to leave a $130,000 job for a $47,000 job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 459

Today, I was checking out a cute guy who finally approached me. He says to me, "Hi excuse me, I've been watching you for a little while, and I finally got the courage to ask you this question...who is your esthetician? I want to get my eyebrows done like yours." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 128

You deserved it 438

Today, as I sat on the table in my gynecologist's office for my yearly checkup, I realized that was the most action I got in the past year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 974

You deserved it 8 155

Today, I was singing the Peaches song from the Mario movie in the kitchen. My wife asked what I was singing, so I told her “It was the song from the Mario movie remember? We saw it together.” She says “No, we didn’t?” Then I realized she’s right. I’d taken my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 3 228

Today, while planning my baby shower with my mom and sister, our other sister made a huge scene, screaming how no one threw her a party when she adopted a baby, and that my parents should stop referring to mine as their first grandchild since she already gave them one. A puppy. She has a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 406

You deserved it 130

Today, I made heart-shaped cookies for my girlfriend. My mom's reaction? "They look like dicks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 135

You deserved it 4 223