Wow... Just wow. She gives birth, for what may or may not have been an unexpected pregnancy, she has a C-section, and he threatens to leave her because he can't deal with it, and it's her fault because she didn't give him a BJ? Again, wow. I don't think you've ever met anyone that just had a baby. Even with normal births, the mom needs lots of rest, and also has to deal with a newborn. There really is NO time. I've had 3 little siblings, I know, my mom never had time to do anything for a few weeks. Baby, rest, baby, rest, eat, relaxing stuff. Nothing to vigorous or physical for her. Now, that's for a normal woman in the early parts of baby raising. Don't forget, this seems to be the first kid, so it's even tougher! Now, if a woman had her stomach CUT OPEN, I'd expect that to be even harder. So just go and die in a hole!

#55, don't waste your breath on him. He's just angry about his failing marriage. Although, with half the crap he spouts off with I can understand why. She already has her mouth and hands busy.... you know, taking care of the baby she just spent 9 months carrying around inside of her, and now has to carry around, all the time.

You are both idiots. C-sections are easier than vaginal births. The solution that most of you fools are proposing are going to be expensive and disastrous. Letting the boyfriend leave or kicking him out is going to cost the OP a lot of financial support for their child. Even if she is wildly successful in getting a child support judgment against him, it will still be less money than if he were there, it may be hard to collect and she is going to have to pay a lawyer handsomely. My solution was cheap and simple and more effective. A few minutes a few times a week to blow the guy would probably have kept him around. Sure, you might call him a selfish prick because his libido is out of control, but he might make a fine dad after all. Most kids are better off with a crappy dad than no dad at all. It's too bad that most of you are not natural-born problem-solvers. There are very few of us with the insight and the courage to fix problems even with solutions that can be distasteful (pun intended.)

The kind of guy who would dump the mother of his child like this is highly unlikely to be a "fine dad." Being a decent parent takes putting someone else (i.e. the kid) before yourself - someone who would dump the mother because he's somehow incapable of reaching for the **** for a few weeks is probably not going to do.

Er, no, sometimes it's better to have no dad than have a shitty one. Would you say that to a kid who was abused by their father? Anyway, you're a selfish prick for suggesting it's her fault that he is leaving because she isn't giving him BJs. Let me guess, you're the type who thinks women are here for sex and only that, right?

Or the boyfriend could have not been an asshole and, I don't know, jerked off while the mother of his child was recuperating? That seems like the easier solution, and it's not like they were never going to have sex again. I agree with everyone saying that guy was just trying to find an excuse to not be a dad. Suck him dry for alimony money.

No dad is only better than a really, really bad one. An abusive one would be one of those for whom a child would be better off without. But even a mediocre dad is much better than none at all. Especially if the child is a boy. No, I don't think women are for sex only. But men aren't meant to be completlely neglected and ignored. If she'd have given that jackass some minimal service, she could have kept him around and maybe kept herself and her bastard child off the public dole. I hope you get to pay the taxes to support the OP and her illegitimate spawn on Food Stamps and WIC.

You would rather condemn her to a relationship with an asshole, just so you don't have to pay a few more dollars on your taxes? Forget the boyfriend - you're a bigger asshole then he is!

Inoku, You are too funny! The stupid bitch didn't bother to get married. There is no ALIMONY, because that is the money you get from a divorce. No marriage, no divorce. You might think she is entitled to child support, but without being married, it's going to be a lot less (if any at all) compared to what she would have got if she did it right. The minute she found that she was pregnant, she should have demanded that her boyfriend marry her right away. If he refused, she could have terminated the pregnancy or arranged an adoption.

Pardon my misuse of legal terminology. "Suck him dry for child support" was my intended meaning. Anyway, I think you're making absurd demands out of the OP. Are you seriously suggesting that every woman who gets accidentally pregnant demand to marry the father? Why would she have reason to believe that he'd ditch if he had been faithful up until then? And besides which, demanding that he marry her would just scare him off faster, because that would indicate a lack of trust on both sides. Furthermore, if she did demand and he did refuse, it would be traumatic for her to either get an abortion (which is not something you do on a whim) or to carry the child of the man who deserted her (even if she did eventually give it to the overburdened adoption system). I still find it difficult to believe that you're suggesting that the woman get married JUST IN CASE the dad left. A marriage contract is not to be used as insurance. Plus, if the OP's boyfriend ditched anyway, I doubt her giving him a hand a couple times a week after giving birth would keep him around long enough to get him through an engagement and marriage.

There was no indication that the pregnancy was accidental. Considering that they have been together four years, it is pretty unlikely that this was unplanned. Not impossible, but unlikely. And, yes, a marriage contract IS an insurance policy, as you call it, to protect the children. Marriage is a social-legal-economic arrangement that establishes a tremendous number of rights and obligations. Originally, it was designed to protect women and children to prevent men from doing the ol' pump-and-dump, but as women entered the workforce, it remained to protect children. It's going to be much tougher extracting child support from a boyfriend compared to a husband.

Plexico, your ignorance, arrogance, male chauvinism and apathy towards other human beings exceeds imagination. But with men like you and the OP's boyfriend in the world, I don't know why I continue to be so surprised. Firstly, Dr. Plexico, recovering from a C-section, a major operation, is vastly more difficult than recovering from a natural birth. ANY doctor would tell you that. It's very likely that even sitting up in bed will be extremely painful for her for weeks, so expecting her to take care of her man's "penis management" is laughable since I can bet he probably hasn't taken care of her either and he's not recovering from surgery. What you're suggesting she do is like asking an open heart surgery patient to please their partner when what they should be doing is recovering. The real irony here is that the man isn't leaving her because she didn't treat his balls well for a couple weeks, he's leaving her because he doesn't HAVE THE BALLS to raise a child. Period. Secondly, the idea that she should keep her deadbeat boyfriend around for financial gain is ludicrous. The guy is willing to leave his newborn baby and ditch his girlfriend, and you're suggesting she has the power to keep him there? For what reason? No father is better than an immature, self-absorbed, weak man. You think a "selfish prick" will miraculously become a good father. Yeah, my ass. All he'd be teaching his children, including his son by the way, is how to be a terrible person and man. Sticking around just so he can get some blow jobs, please. Go **** a hole in the wall if you want it that bad and take your bad influence elsewhere. Well I can go on all day about your "insight and courage" but all I'll say is this: if you were in her situation and it was YOU who had to suck his dick every day, you wouldn't be saying any of this shit. Man up, grow a pair and contribute something to society beside all your trash!

If the pregnancy were intended, then this FML is even worse and the OP had no reason to demand marriage, because if they decided to have a child together than she should have had no reason to doubt his fidelity, and therefore no reason to demand a marriage as insurance. I somewhat doubt marriage was created to protect women--I am of the opinion that marriage was created in order to privatize and structuralize the transfer of property and position from one generation to the next. In order to extract child support, however, she would have had to get married and then subsequently divorced him, which would have been a huge cost to pay with a newborn.

You put a lot of time into typing this, almost as much time as it would have taken for the OP to jerk the boyfriend off or blow him if he's that hard up. You all take this way too seriously!

You're right, because what else do post-op new mothers have to do but blow their boyfriends? I hear that after giving birth and having surgery, women can jump right back up to their old selves in roughly 45 minutes!

Just because they've been together for 4 years doesn't really mean that it was a planned pregnancy...You have no clue where the OP is at in her life right now-she could still be in school... My fiance and I have been together for 2 years and if in 2 or even 3 years from now I got pregnant, it definitely would not be planned. I'd like to finish college and get established in a job before attempting to raise a family. So quit jumping to stupid conclusions-length of relationship doesn't affect whether a pregnancy was planned or not-some couples choose not to have kids ever. And considering that they were bf/gf I would guess that it was probably not planned.

#116- I applaud you. That was all the points I was wanting to say typed out very eloquently.

C sections are NOT easier. may be when the time comes to having the baby, but the maintenance is ALOT more than a vaginal delivery, And you should also know that commenting on how hard having a baby isn't is very ignorant of you since you HAVEN'T and NEVER WILL have a baby! I get it you saw something in the OP's bf that you related too,maybe someone left you because you were a bit too sexually demanding but either way I'm not going to judge you because i don't know you! And actually having a ****** up dad as a parent isn't ALWAYS better than not having a dad because then maybe just maybe history will not have to repeat itself.