Love: Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss... - FML

By Anonymous - 04/10/2009 21:40 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss him. My stomach rolls got there first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 696

You deserved it 48 847

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/01/2012 18:06 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 623

You deserved it 4 102

By Maria - 14/03/2017 15:00 - United Kingdom - York

Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 663

You deserved it 404

By go fish - 08/07/2019 06:00

Today, my boyfriend gently pointed out that when we hug, it's our stomachs that touch first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 500

You deserved it 417

By marsbar - 15/03/2009 05:07 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked him why he did that, he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 736

You deserved it 20 104

By ColdHeat - 16/04/2011 19:18 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 305

You deserved it 4 636

By Anonymous - 24/05/2009 04:14 - United States

Today, I was lying on the couch with my boyfriend and was feeling tired, so I got a soda. I sat back down and surprised him with a passionate kiss. I also surprised him when I suddenly burped right into his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 189

You deserved it 47 573

By wtf1234 - 03/05/2011 01:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a picnic. After we finished eating he laid down, closed his eyes, and put his head in my lap. At the exact second that I bent down to kiss him, he jumped up to get the Frisbee. We both have bloody noses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 874

You deserved it 4 395

By alltern8ive - 09/11/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt and stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 312

You deserved it 5 111

By LoveStruck- - 10/02/2010 07:29 - United States

Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 790

You deserved it 5 743

Major romcom vibes

By staciedee - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 533

You deserved it 5 017

Next

Top comments

aymaureen 0

Monday 5 October 2009 1:12

that is so hot i like the chubbys :]

GreenDaysGeekGrl 0

Monday 5 October 2009 1:27

I totally awwed at this. It shouldn't really matter though because you have a boyfriend and I'm sure he still like/loves you still. :)

Comments

Imranaziz 0

Monday 5 October 2009 17:25

sweet. I like

blastvortex 3

Monday 5 October 2009 17:29

Heh. I hope you didn't kill him. Death by belly roll would be a nasty way to go...

lolhaha118118 0

Monday 5 October 2009 17:42

nom nom nom

romaunts 0

Monday 5 October 2009 18:08

Try cocaine. Great way to lose that weight. :D

jmoose311 3

Monday 5 October 2009 19:54

I don't understand why fat chicks even bother hooking up with guys and trying to get boyfriends. It's just gross. At the very least they shouldn't be out in public.

bcorbs 0

Monday 5 October 2009 20:38

disgusting

tapesculpture 0

Monday 5 October 2009 21:15

ugh that's horrible. :I

Julianneisasmurf 0

Monday 5 October 2009 21:25

shut up! If she has a boyfriend she's probobly not disgausting. Don't be so mean!

tracemaster 0

Monday 5 October 2009 22:19

Ok everyone is really disgusting to one another on the Internet. It's pathetic. I think it's great that you're laughing about something like this; you have to laugh at yourself. Good for you. Everyone has flaws, and you're brave enough to talk about them.

tracemaster 0

Monday 5 October 2009 22:22

Comment forums like this make me disappointed in the entire world. You may or may not be fat, but at least you're not a rude, disrespectful, mean hater.

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The Top

Today, my brother and sister-in-law come over ONLY to use up the resources at our house - like food, TV subscriptions, and other items. They claim to love my kids and come over for them. If only they would look up from their phone and spend actual time with the kids. Is there a way to block toxic relatives? FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 100

Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 83

The Top

Today, my professor spent the entire class showing us how to make paper airplanes. I pay over 40 grand a year for college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 474

You deserved it 6 176

Today, I was using the toilet at a friend's house when the toilet made a strange gurgling noise. Thinking it was just old plumbing, I flushed. The water started rising... and rising. Before I knew it, water, and whatever was in the toilet, began overflowing and flooding the bathroom. I had to go ask for help, and a mop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 100

Today, my girlfriend tried to look at my phone and I turned it away from her. Now she’s convinced I’m cheating on her. In reality, I’m too embarrassed to admit it’s because Facebook is showing me nonstop ads for laxatives after I ordered some two days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 658

You deserved it 1 122

Today, I had a dream I was on the toilet taking the longest piss known to man. Unfortunately, it was partially true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 826

You deserved it 2 942

Today, I went to a wine tasting for the first time. I copied the experienced people around me by swishing the wine around in my mouth, which I then choked on and spit out all over my white blouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 941

You deserved it 10 130

Today, we're finally at an age where my wife will try to negotiate how old she has to admit to being. It’s ridiculous. At her last doctor's appointment, she was asked her age, she’s 52 but claimed to be only 40, and I had to argue her up to admitting to 48. FML

I agree, your life sucks 957

You deserved it 120