Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being... - FML

By RedWaters - 06/03/2013 20:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 524

You deserved it 15 906

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 05/12/2010 00:39 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend confessed his desire to have sex while I'm on my period. He calls it "bloody victory." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 319

You deserved it 5 929

What ARE you doing?

By Anonymous - 27/09/2014 03:30 - New Zealand

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend tried to be dominant during sex. It was so out of character for him, I couldn't help but break into hysterical laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 659

You deserved it 12 090

Booming

By Anonymous - 26/04/2013 22:22 - United States - Arvada

Spicy

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 932

You deserved it 10 192

By anonymous - 25/03/2016 22:19 - United States - Manchester

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time, the one day my period came early. He thought it was a sign from God and thinks we're going to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 791

You deserved it 3 215

By painedandpissed - 10/08/2014 16:42 - United States - Los Angeles

Spicy

Today, I called my boyfriend and invited him over to watch a movie. He was all for it, until I mentioned I was on my period, at which point he said "NOPE." and hung up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 104

You deserved it 7 170

By onething - 08/07/2009 17:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to come spend the night at his house, and on the way he started pulling over to get some condoms. I told him no need, I was on my period. He turned the car around and took me home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 892

You deserved it 17 946

By ideserveit - 28/05/2016 22:10 - Finland

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend after a fight. I told him the reason I was so irritable is because I'm on my period. He yelped in disgust and nearly fell out of bed. Good to know I'm dating a man-child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 029

You deserved it 1 845

By Anonymous - 19/02/2013 08:35

Spicy

Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 732

You deserved it 10 359

By Anonymous - 09/11/2011 01:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend drove me home. I mentioned how I had recently started my period and he freaked out, saying I would "leak" through my tampon onto his seat. He made me sit on towels all the way home. FML

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So sensual...

By Wellokthen - 17/02/2017 22:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML

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You deserved it 1 156

Next

Top comments

tsent8 15

Wednesday 6 March 2013 23:32

It's not his fault. He was just trying to get his people out of Egypt.

k_ninjaa 9

Wednesday 6 March 2013 23:31

At least he has a sense of humor!

Comments

AksentNetharia 12

Sunday 20 April 2014 7:18

Okay, that's absolutely hilarious.

greta_fml 21

Tuesday 9 September 2014 1:10

That is the funniest thing I've read today.

emmkuh 5

Saturday 13 September 2014 7:10

that's not even bad, it's hilarious! I would seriously laugh till my period's over if that happened to me...

foxyhasmybooty 16

Saturday 29 November 2014 8:41

He is hilarious XD

Cristian89 29

Saturday 21 March 2015 11:15

I hope he got to the promise land lmao

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

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Today, after two months of being broken up, and my ex still insisting she hadn't been cheating on me, I declared via text my intention to burn the rest of her stuff in the yard. This resulted in the guy she "hadn't been cheating on me with" kicking in my door. FML

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You deserved it 389

Today, my brother's girlfriend came over to visit and we got to talking about books. Thinking she'd be interested, I suggested a few. She responded that she "only reads good literature." The only books I've ever seen her read are Fifty Shades of Gray and the Twilight saga. FML

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, by text, while we were in the same room. FML

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Today, my husband threw an epic tantrum about how “men are allowed to have female friends”, smashed stuff in the living room, for him to storm out and slam the door, making the house tremble. All I did was tell him that his friendship with his secretary made me uncomfortable. FML

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Today, my fiancée "thought I should know" that she has a $125,000 student loan debt. FML

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Today, I found out the hard way that everyone in my dorm knows I watch My Little Pony. FML

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Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized my really cute waiter, along with his buddies kept looking at me and smiling. Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito, choked, and spilled ground beef down my new shirt and in my bra. They laughed the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 536

You deserved it 38 668

Today, I got married. During the reception my husband got drunk and told 200+ people that we met at a dingy bar and that we "totally banged" all night. I don't know what's worse, the fact he embarrassed me in front of everyone I know, or if it was that that was not how we met. Not even close. FML

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