Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being...

By RedWaters - 06/03/2013 20:20 - United States

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 524

You deserved it 15 906

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 05/12/2010 00:39 - United States

Today, my boyfriend confessed his desire to have sex while I'm on my period. He calls it "bloody victory." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 319

You deserved it 5 929

What ARE you doing?

By Anonymous - 27/09/2014 03:30 - New Zealand

Today, my boyfriend tried to be dominant during sex. It was so out of character for him, I couldn't help but break into hysterical laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 659

You deserved it 12 090

Booming

By Anonymous - 26/04/2013 22:22 - United States - Arvada

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 932

You deserved it 10 192

By anonymous - 25/03/2016 22:19 - United States - Manchester

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time, the one day my period came early. He thought it was a sign from God and thinks we're going to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 791

You deserved it 3 215

By painedandpissed - 10/08/2014 16:42 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I called my boyfriend and invited him over to watch a movie. He was all for it, until I mentioned I was on my period, at which point he said "NOPE." and hung up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 104

You deserved it 7 170

By onething - 08/07/2009 17:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to come spend the night at his house, and on the way he started pulling over to get some condoms. I told him no need, I was on my period. He turned the car around and took me home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 892

You deserved it 17 946

By ideserveit - 28/05/2016 22:10 - Finland

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend after a fight. I told him the reason I was so irritable is because I'm on my period. He yelped in disgust and nearly fell out of bed. Good to know I'm dating a man-child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 029

You deserved it 1 845

By Anonymous - 19/02/2013 08:35

Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 732

You deserved it 10 359

By Anonymous - 09/11/2011 01:20 - United States

Today, my boyfriend drove me home. I mentioned how I had recently started my period and he freaked out, saying I would "leak" through my tampon onto his seat. He made me sit on towels all the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 690

You deserved it 6 547

So sensual...

By Wellokthen - 17/02/2017 22:00 - United States

Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 073

You deserved it 1 156

tsent8 15

Wednesday 6 March 2013 23:32

It's not his fault. He was just trying to get his people out of Egypt.

k_ninjaa 9

Wednesday 6 March 2013 23:31

At least he has a sense of humor!

Comments

ThatOneDrummer 8

Thursday 7 March 2013 2:08

He's a keeper, marry him.

alfred07 18

Thursday 7 March 2013 2:12

It's always funny to read about a guy **** blocking himself.

xmaximusx 12

Thursday 7 March 2013 2:19

Ha ha ha ha

beanthemouse 13

Thursday 7 March 2013 2:20

I would of found that funny. I am a girl.

DanielleinDC 33

Thursday 7 March 2013 2:44

Hey, he's got a sense of humor. My boyfriend barely touches me during mine.

MsPhen 7

Thursday 7 March 2013 2:52

Sometimes a woman is more horny when she's on her period because of all the extra blood flow to the muscles in that area.

jcrb 11

Thursday 7 March 2013 3:21

your boyfriend is my new best friend!!

lubbockgaymale 7

Thursday 7 March 2013 3:32

'Set my ova FREE!'

buddy51 23

Thursday 7 March 2013 3:33

OP- your bf was bloody well trying to get his pee-pole submerged deep in the red sea and to plant his seed in the promised land!

zandalee 19

Thursday 7 March 2013 5:53

Umm eww

wvcheesehead1 9

Thursday 7 March 2013 3:51

Was he holding his staff?

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Today, I was denied food stamp assistance. Apparently, you need to work 20 hours a week while being a full time student to qualify or have a work study. I was recently suspended from my work study for calling off because my aunt died, and if I worked 20 hours a week, why would I need food stamps? FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 150

You deserved it 5 868

Today, while at the restaurant I work at, a bunch of kids came in. They all gave incredibly complex orders, laughed at everything I did, and made a huge mess by "spilling" hot sauce and water all over the floor. After they left, I was tipped eleven cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 306

You deserved it 3 563

The Top

Today, I had misplaced my cell phone. I decided the best course of action would be to dial the number from my house phone and wait for it to ring to locate it. Somebody answered when I called. It wasn't the wrong number and I had a brief conversation with the man that stole my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 34

Today, I was looking at my wedding pictures I had just ordered and I tried to flick something off one of the pictures, but it wouldn't come off. In a panic I quickly looked through all of my pictures and realized that I had a booger sticking out of my nose. No one told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 144

You deserved it 4 186

Today, my mom's response to everything is now screaming. Two year-old brother playing quietly? Screaming. Computer freezes? Screaming. Mailman? Screaming. We tried to get her tested but no doctor can stand her for more than ten minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 72

Today, I had to physically force my nephew to change his clothes after he tried to go out in long black jeans, a long-sleeved black shirt and a heavy black hoodie. It’s currently 106°F where we live. Apparently, heatstroke is the new trend, as several of his classmates are dressing the same way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 126

Today, just 8 months away from graduating medical school, I successfully diagnosed myself with basal cell carcinoma. At least all that studying is paying off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 446

You deserved it 144

Today, I decided to clean my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 96

Same thing different taste

What ARE you doing?

Booming

So sensual...

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