Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris...

By Anonymous - 27/09/2011 15:56 - United States

Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 694

You deserved it 12 994

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Same thing different taste

Not going so well, is it?

By Anonymous - 29/07/2013 07:54 - United States - Riverside

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 150

You deserved it 10 103

Nearly there

By baby_trex_arms - 05/05/2015 15:13 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to play the hot and cold game with my boyfriend until he found my clitoris. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 468

You deserved it 5 735

By Oops - 26/09/2011 15:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 952

You deserved it 7 844

Found it

By Anonymous - 01/02/2022 20:01

Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 812

You deserved it 432

By BustedEgo - 23/03/2014 05:31 - United States - Norway

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 815

You deserved it 7 326

By geewhy - 26/12/2012 21:20 - United States - South Park

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 709

You deserved it 5 440

Dick appointment

By Anonymous - 20/10/2020 21:01 - Canada - Spruce Grove

Today, I walked out halfway through a much anticipated dick appointment because it became apparent that he thought my clit was located somewhere on my upper thigh. He kept rubbing it and moaning, "Oooooh, I bet you like that, baby." No, sir, I certainly did not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 640

You deserved it 290

By Anonymous - 28/02/2014 21:10 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely hinting that he needs to improve. To start with, I said maybe he should be more spontaneous in bed. He replied, "What, like putting it in your ass? Gotcha." Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 850

You deserved it 16 533

By Anonymous - 28/11/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, I was explaining the inner parts of a vagina and how they work. To my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 633

You deserved it 6 737

By Hannah - 13/06/2013 16:19 - Australia - Caulfield North

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 365

You deserved it 6 069

steve247 2

Tuesday 27 September 2011 19:01

Try circling it with a sharpie?

orgasm_blush 4

Tuesday 27 September 2011 19:01

Hmmm. How old are you guys I feel like that might play a big part in this.

Comments

MeganLove23 0

Monday 5 March 2012 23:25

My bf has the same problem but only it takes him like fifteen minutes to aim and get inside me lol

yuyqe 4

Monday 2 April 2012 3:13

Somebody needs anatomy class...

magicalswaci 12

Tuesday 12 June 2012 11:37

Break out into the backpack song from Dora and see if he can pick out your ********. Backpack, backpack..

lilbit91011 6

Friday 5 October 2012 6:55

Get a tattoo on it then he should be able to find it. It's the tattooed part that is a different color.

Chris20003 17

Friday 25 January 2013 17:23

What?! The mythical ******** is real!? Someone inform the male community we must meet and discuss this new finding... RIGHT AWAY!

JordanDempsey 20

Tuesday 26 March 2013 20:58

Try doing it in the light

Gorefest45 8

Tuesday 13 May 2014 17:08

People really need help finding that? Lmao xD

LiftOff 6

Thursday 22 May 2014 21:39

Dude mine too. He even whinned last time we were getting intimate bc he couldn't find it. He's 23-_-

tcg14e 6

Saturday 13 February 2016 21:29

you don't have a boyfriend you have a queer

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Today, and for the past month, I've been feeling lightheaded from a breathing problem. I've now been prescribed a medication to help with my anxiety and my breathing issue, which would in turn help stop me from getting so lightheaded. The side effect of said medication: lightheadedness. FML

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You deserved it 295

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

I agree, your life sucks 9

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 819

You deserved it 9 990

Today, my 18th birthday, my boyfriend took me out to dinner at a nice sushi restaurant half an hour from where we live. Right after we ordered I started having an allergic reaction to my birth control and spent the next 2 hours dry heaving on the sidewalk outside the restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 598

You deserved it 611

Today, I had to explain to my mom that the bruises I have all over my body are not due to abuse, but because I'm into really rough sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 793

You deserved it 762

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight about a clogged toilet. He was yelling about not having enough money to buy a better plunger and so I stormed out to buy one myself. While pulling his truck into traffic, a car hit me causing $1000 in damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 588

You deserved it 9 615

Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 816

You deserved it 9 725

Today, I finished installing remote access CCTV cameras around my house due to the high rate of burglaries around my neighborhood. I turn it on to see my teenage son rubbing one out on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 887

You deserved it 24 795