By BabyG2222 - 29/09/2012 09:14 - United States - Sturgeon Bay

Spicy
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to spank the ferret in bed and spray me while singing the Spiderman theme song. FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 152
You deserved it 5 192

BabyG2222 tells us more.

BabyG2222 3

OP here, Okay just want to clarify some stuff first. The term "spank the ferret" is a "nice" way of putting he was jerking off. I originally wrote "jerked off" but I guess fmylife didn't like that wording and changed it to a friendly term. So, no there wasn't an actually ferret (no animal was hurt in the making of fmylife). Okay with that done now for the background story. My boyfriend at the time loved sex (like every normal guy) and liked to do the "traditional **** ending, where the guy cums on the girls face" He liked to call it Spiderman. (I'm aware doing the Spiderman is not done that way however he didn't want to splat in his hand and throw it at me, it was a modified Spiderman). Anyways, he got this "bright" idea to wake me up this way (thinking I was find it funny and sexy at the same time, which I didn't.) And for all of you who said I should have helped him out, I was sleeping, he woke me up just before and when I turned around SPLAT he shot me in the face while singing the theme song. We broke up a month later because of an unrelated issue but needless to say I was pretty mad at him but forgave him like after a day.

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Top comments

saIty 17

Interesting, but do you know whats worse? Having your boyfriend wipe his cum on your forehead and whispering "Simba".

361 10
Athleticism 11

I've never heard the term "spank the ferret." I thought he spanked a ferret and it sprayed the girl.

184 9

Comments

decidedlyvague 11

I thought he was literally spanking a ferret.

8 2
kaysaneee 0

that's just freakin weird... find a new boyfriend.

0 0
BabyG2222 3

OP here, Okay just want to clarify some stuff first. The term "spank the ferret" is a "nice" way of putting he was jerking off. I originally wrote "jerked off" but I guess fmylife didn't like that wording and changed it to a friendly term. So, no there wasn't an actually ferret (no animal was hurt in the making of fmylife). Okay with that done now for the background story. My boyfriend at the time loved sex (like every normal guy) and liked to do the "traditional **** ending, where the guy cums on the girls face" He liked to call it Spiderman. (I'm aware doing the Spiderman is not done that way however he didn't want to splat in his hand and throw it at me, it was a modified Spiderman). Anyways, he got this "bright" idea to wake me up this way (thinking I was find it funny and sexy at the same time, which I didn't.) And for all of you who said I should have helped him out, I was sleeping, he woke me up just before and when I turned around SPLAT he shot me in the face while singing the theme song. We broke up a month later because of an unrelated issue but needless to say I was pretty mad at him but forgave him like after a day.

22 1
charvisioku 22

Not sure if amused or disgusted. That must have been a vile thing to wake up to O.o

16 0
TheMystery13 13

Google Jimmy Carr - Spiderman, and you'll understand.

0 0
flashback_fml 14

Omg that just cracked me up so much

0 0
cjwayy 22

"Spank the ferret"

0 0
Jiplo 18

Now I'm imaging what Spider-Man would be like if he shot his web out of his penis. This is hilarious!

1 0
SexyMexi21 23

Soo many things wrong with this post... ferret?? what?

0 1
herpderp1234 17

"Spider man, spider man, does everything a spider can."

1 0