By BabyG2222 - 29/09/2012 09:14 - United States - Sturgeon Bay

Spicy
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to spank the ferret in bed and spray me while singing the Spiderman theme song. FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 152
You deserved it 5 192

BabyG2222 tells us more.

BabyG2222 3

OP here, Okay just want to clarify some stuff first. The term "spank the ferret" is a "nice" way of putting he was jerking off. I originally wrote "jerked off" but I guess fmylife didn't like that wording and changed it to a friendly term. So, no there wasn't an actually ferret (no animal was hurt in the making of fmylife). Okay with that done now for the background story. My boyfriend at the time loved sex (like every normal guy) and liked to do the "traditional **** ending, where the guy cums on the girls face" He liked to call it Spiderman. (I'm aware doing the Spiderman is not done that way however he didn't want to splat in his hand and throw it at me, it was a modified Spiderman). Anyways, he got this "bright" idea to wake me up this way (thinking I was find it funny and sexy at the same time, which I didn't.) And for all of you who said I should have helped him out, I was sleeping, he woke me up just before and when I turned around SPLAT he shot me in the face while singing the theme song. We broke up a month later because of an unrelated issue but needless to say I was pretty mad at him but forgave him like after a day.

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Top comments

saIty 17

Interesting, but do you know whats worse? Having your boyfriend wipe his cum on your forehead and whispering "Simba".

361 10
Athleticism 11

I've never heard the term "spank the ferret." I thought he spanked a ferret and it sprayed the girl.

184 9

Comments

cheshireau 26

Why to people have the weirdest Boyfriend/Girlfriends on this site? I mean it is fml, but some of it is fkd up.

37 7
emilyjgraham 34

I noticed a lot of them recently! especially with geeky scenarios when ejaculating!

13 1
myumat00 9

Some of these crazy scenarios are also fake

3 1
FlyingPie 17

Because it's FML. People wouldn't post on FML about their normal/good boyfriends/girlfriends. I'd be confused if I saw a FML about a normal or good significant other. It might go something like this: "Today, I realized that not only is my girlfriend normal, she is totally awesome, and I want to marry her. FML" :P

23 0
darwinism 30

Enjoy some solo action of your own. Start beating the beaver and tell him it's because there are no logs around to plug your dam, just a little twig that resembles a ferret.

89 3
himexcherry 8

What the hell did I just read? There are so many things wrong with that

28 4
annie_nk 22

For some odd reason, my brain read this in a literal sense. Which makes quite an interesting visual.

64 3
hellproof023 6

Lmao I did at first too for a brief second. I was thinking the farret peed on her as he spanked it which I think would be much worse than op

13 1
Life_sucks_13 6

Lol me too. I was like "what???" then I read it again going "umm.." but I it's thanks to lack of sleep but I finally got it XD

0 0
Pandacupcakelove 26

Why do people always say that? This must be one of, if not THE stupidest reasons ever to dump somebody. I'm sure you can make it through this, OP -_-

7 0
emilyjgraham 34

friends: what happened? why did you break up? op: he sang the spiderman theme tune whilst spraying me with his home made web... that's a silly reason, op will laugh soon!

6 0
kitkatkit 4

This is definitely not a reason to dump him. Now if he didn't help you clean it up...

1 5
shadowsorel 15

Why dump him? He was simply having fun. I see no way this can harm their relationship.

3 0
DocBastard 38

That was NOT a spiderweb that shot out, was it?

41 32
happylawyer 16

No, Doc, it wasn't. Neither was there a ferret. ;-) Unfortunately, the spiderman theme song was for real.

16 4
goodgood_fml 5

Wow. Must have been a long time if spiderwebs shot out. Then I do recall the dude who dug a spider out of his foreskin once. Gross.

2 3
lacespace 8

I love how people act like they'd be totally cool with being squirt with **** and thumb anyone down who thinks its...oh i don't? Nasty? Clearly we have a lot of future **** stars on this site.

11 2
lacespace 8

*oh I don't know Darn it.

6 0