Love: Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in...

By shastadoe - 06/08/2012 06:37 - United States - Los Banos

Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 621

You deserved it 5 862

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By sabrinatarmine_ - 22/07/2013 02:35 - United States - Carmel Valley

Today, I told my boyfriend I had diabetes. He won't talk to me anymore because he thinks I'll infect him with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 623

You deserved it 4 069

By Anonymous - 26/08/2015 11:28 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I had to go out and that I'd be back later. He asked where I was going. "To see my other boyfriend," I chuckled, smiling. He took it seriously and wouldn't believe it was just a joke. I'm pretty sure I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 441

You deserved it 10 118

By kat - 21/02/2012 09:53 - Reserved

Today, a client stared at me in disbelief after I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 727

You deserved it 3 059

Is this dude a puma?

By Anonymous - 04/04/2020 02:00

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Why? Because I became a vegetarian. Apparently, he doesn't believe in "not eating meat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 1 522

By Anonymous - 17/01/2012 06:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend shared with me his anxiety about death, so I shared with him one of my ridiculously irrational fears. He thought I was making fun of him and now won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 945

You deserved it 5 620

Another one?

By Anonymous - 27/04/2012 15:24 - United States

Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 924

You deserved it 4 863

By alaina2001 - 07/05/2015 22:22 - United States - Massillon

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because someone asked him if we were dating and he lied and said no. He said he didn't want to be a liar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 519

You deserved it 2 691

By sober - 10/07/2012 03:40 - United States - Hillsborough

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was going to stop drinking, since I have been having some problems with alcohol and some of my relatives are alcoholics. He later broke up with me, saying he couldn't be with someone who "chose to be boring." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 063

You deserved it 3 424

By Anonymous - 15/05/2009 15:18 - United States

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that I could never marry him because he's a Yankees fan. He told me he could never marry me because he couldn't see himself having a terrible love life for the rest of his life. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 698

You deserved it 13 994

By Anonymous - 27/10/2014 06:01 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for Halloween. He said "Single". FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 010

You deserved it 5 185

HazzaBoo 3

Monday 6 August 2012 16:40

Is he reading Twilight? :P hope not

toelie 26

Monday 6 August 2012 16:41

Good riddance.

Comments

kimg0885 23

Monday 6 August 2012 17:00

Why when everyone thinks of a vampire now days they think of that stupid Twilight? What happened to scary vampires that actually suck your blood?

meikaze 9

Monday 6 August 2012 17:00

Sounds like you're better off without him...sorry OP :( At least now you don't have to worry about dealing with new 'bloodlust' fetishes!!

shawnaishere 14

Monday 6 August 2012 17:00

He should know you are team Jacob and obviously can't be with him.

FranzFerdinand 18

Monday 6 August 2012 17:02

Bloody hell, it's a good thing that's over and done with. FYL, since I'm sure he seemed fine before he showed you his true nature. Let him do weird role plays with some Twilight fan girl and go find yourself a guy who isn't delusional. (:

perdix 29

Monday 6 August 2012 17:05

You dodged a bullet there, honey, a silver one at that! Does a silver bullet kill a vampire, or is it a werewolf or mummy. I'm confused (I'm old!!!) or is it just a Coors beer?