Kids: Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth...

By G. Briones - 23/11/2011 19:14

Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 871

You deserved it 7 010

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Same thing different taste

By DENTALITY - 23/05/2015 11:06 - Norway

Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 055

You deserved it 3 668

By laptitesouris - 31/03/2013 23:35 - France - Pertuis

Today, one of my 5-year-old son's teeth fell out, but he's quite scatterbrained and he lost it. He did however find my vibrating duck under my pillow, and is now crying because he thinks that I stole his tooth so that the tooth fairy would bring me a toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 138

You deserved it 7 102

By Anonymous - 08/06/2015 14:11 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad told me he had a present for me. It was his tooth, which he had pulled out a few minutes before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 022

You deserved it 2 228

By Anonymous - 23/05/2012 01:24 - United States

Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 463

You deserved it 4 677

By mr.palendrome - 06/03/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 437

You deserved it 28 104

By uglychick - 05/09/2009 17:29 - Canada

Today, my brother came out of the shower and sat with my mom and me on the couch. He then says he liked the idea of the extra toothbrush in the shower, it helps him clean between his toes. I have been using that to brush my teeth for the last two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 783

You deserved it 9 740

Felt cute, might delete myself later

By being a fairy is hard - 28/10/2021 08:00

Today, my daughter lost a tooth. I wanted to make the Tooth Fairy experience extra special, so I dipped her doll's feet in paint to leave “tracks” from the window to her bed. As I was adding the finishing touches and spreading glitter, I tripped on a toy, faceplanted and lost my own tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 393

By snapped - 13/11/2009 04:19 - United States

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 117

You deserved it 9 445

By shoelace18 - 06/09/2009 04:19 - Canada

Today, my 5 year old swallowed her loose tooth, which she was going put under her pillow for the toothfairy. My wife then told her 'what goes in must come out'. And now everytime she does number 2, she makes me dig for her lost tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 886

You deserved it 5 972

Shrek is love. Shrek is life.

By EarScentedCandle - 27/05/2018 09:00 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, after watching Shrek, my little brother started collecting his earwax to make it into a candle like Shrek did. I can’t get him to throw it away even after bribing him with bags of candy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 205

You deserved it 337

Jimster1712 0

Thursday 24 November 2011 0:18

At least its better than Hebert the pedophile showing up in his room....

dtbomb 3

Thursday 24 November 2011 0:19

O man if the Rock came into my room I would be scared shitless because he is massive

Comments

andre5006 2

Thursday 24 November 2011 0:34

Then damn it get the Rock!

bizarre_ftw 21

Thursday 24 November 2011 4:05

Is the rock like the belt?

guckylynn 19

Thursday 24 November 2011 7:24

178, do you ever make a worthwhile comment? Every time I read something by you I'm annoyed.

andre5006 2

Thursday 24 November 2011 16:19

Wow I have now seen the error of my ways I will never comment again....you feel better now ?

alanmacabre 2

Thursday 24 November 2011 0:34

The Rock only collects teeth from naughty children and makes sure that it's the last tooth they ever lose.

drealmorales 2

Thursday 24 November 2011 0:36

If you can smell what the rock is cooking!

caranina 15

Thursday 24 November 2011 0:36

omg if he was in my room ... ew , just imagine what he could do with those big hands :s

eeppiicc 8

Thursday 24 November 2011 6:31

^ hahaha the way I read this in my mind xD I haven't laughed like this in awhile thanks for that comment I need something to brighten my day.

toricakes 7

Thursday 24 November 2011 0:37

Aww haha that would be a fairytale ^.^

karamman 5

Thursday 24 November 2011 0:38

LOL That's hilarious

EmilyStrauch 8

Thursday 24 November 2011 0:42

Dude. I told the same to my sister, but now she thinks it's going to be Paul blart.

bakesale45 0

Thursday 24 November 2011 0:43

Atleast it isnt goldust...

karolyna_fml 1

Thursday 24 November 2011 0:44

Aweee! Thats too kutee!!:)

spider63 0

Thursday 24 November 2011 0:44

Well the rock better be in his damn room or ur a horrible brother

Keywords

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Ahoy ship's boys and girls ! Today we're heading to France. Be ready to face rain, storm and beer because Lille is welcoming us, and believe me, it's not Los Angeles. Do you all have your raincoats? -Bonjour ! First of all, present yourself ma jol...

I agree, your life sucks 14

You deserved it 16

Today, I have a skin disease that causes my arms and legs to have small, but noticeable, red bumps on them. Trying to stay confident, I put on a swimsuit and went to the pool, only to be bumped into by a cute guy, who then asked why my arms were so "bumpy and disgusting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 109

The Top

Today, I found out my postpartum pain is indeed because of a cyst. No, my doctors can’t drain it and relive the pain because of scar tissue. And yes, it hurts around my lady bits and in my butthole, because the cyst wraps around everything. It’s either wait it out in extreme pain or surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 250

You deserved it 192

Today, I went to the bathroom on the way to class. After washing my hands, I couldn't figure out how to turn off the water. I finally resorted to asking a professor for help. She turned it off, looked me in the eyes and said, "Please don't tell me you're here on a scholarship." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 651

You deserved it 36 044

Today, I decided to drive my mothers Bentley. She is out of town and told me not to go near the car. Being 17, I didn't listen. As I was backing out the driveway, I was hit by an SUV, seriously damaging my moms car. Who was driving the SUV? My mom, coming home early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 101

You deserved it 79 044

Today, my girlfriend sent me a video of herself masturbating so I could watch it on my business trip. As I was watching it, I realised someone was filming her, because the camera was moving and definitely not on a tripod. I know I never recorded a video of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 280

You deserved it 486

Today, via a situation too complicated to explain, I accidentally cost my boss almost 50,000, on the same day his wife asked for a divorce and his dog died. I’m almost too scared to tell him how I screwed up, in case it sends him completely off the deep end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 273

Today, I went to a job interview, and the interviewer asked me to give an example of a time I went above and beyond for a customer. I proudly told him about the time I drove a customer home when their car broke down. The interviewer then asked me if I had any examples from a professional setting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 156

Same thing different taste

Felt cute, might delete myself later

Shrek is love. Shrek is life.

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