Kids: Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth...

By G. Briones - 23/11/2011 19:14

Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 871

You deserved it 7 010

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Same thing different taste

By DENTALITY - 23/05/2015 11:06 - Norway

Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 055

You deserved it 3 668

By laptitesouris - 31/03/2013 23:35 - France - Pertuis

Today, one of my 5-year-old son's teeth fell out, but he's quite scatterbrained and he lost it. He did however find my vibrating duck under my pillow, and is now crying because he thinks that I stole his tooth so that the tooth fairy would bring me a toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 138

You deserved it 7 102

By Anonymous - 08/06/2015 14:11 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad told me he had a present for me. It was his tooth, which he had pulled out a few minutes before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 022

You deserved it 2 228

By Anonymous - 23/05/2012 01:24 - United States

Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 463

You deserved it 4 677

By mr.palendrome - 06/03/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 437

You deserved it 28 104

By uglychick - 05/09/2009 17:29 - Canada

Today, my brother came out of the shower and sat with my mom and me on the couch. He then says he liked the idea of the extra toothbrush in the shower, it helps him clean between his toes. I have been using that to brush my teeth for the last two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 783

You deserved it 9 740

Felt cute, might delete myself later

By being a fairy is hard - 28/10/2021 08:00

Today, my daughter lost a tooth. I wanted to make the Tooth Fairy experience extra special, so I dipped her doll's feet in paint to leave “tracks” from the window to her bed. As I was adding the finishing touches and spreading glitter, I tripped on a toy, faceplanted and lost my own tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 393

By snapped - 13/11/2009 04:19 - United States

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 117

You deserved it 9 445

By shoelace18 - 06/09/2009 04:19 - Canada

Today, my 5 year old swallowed her loose tooth, which she was going put under her pillow for the toothfairy. My wife then told her 'what goes in must come out'. And now everytime she does number 2, she makes me dig for her lost tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 886

You deserved it 5 972

Shrek is love. Shrek is life.

By EarScentedCandle - 27/05/2018 09:00 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, after watching Shrek, my little brother started collecting his earwax to make it into a candle like Shrek did. I can’t get him to throw it away even after bribing him with bags of candy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 205

You deserved it 337

Jimster1712 0

Thursday 24 November 2011 0:18

At least its better than Hebert the pedophile showing up in his room....

dtbomb 3

Thursday 24 November 2011 0:19

O man if the Rock came into my room I would be scared shitless because he is massive

Comments

Alexiss998 0

Thursday 24 November 2011 1:38

Lml Ahahahaa Dat Made My Day :D

osbourne_fml 11

Thursday 24 November 2011 1:40

Aww thats actually cute how old is he?

mama8809 0

Thursday 24 November 2011 1:42

Awwww how cute

Misfits_Danzig 2

Thursday 24 November 2011 1:48

Cena's Better.

edgez 0

Thursday 24 November 2011 1:49

Get your wings out..

azidhsu 6

Thursday 24 November 2011 1:52

He got it all wrong, it should be Eddie Gurrerro

ohmandapants 16

Thursday 24 November 2011 17:29

I'd be pretty ******* scared if his rotting corpse walked into my room.

codygurl 10

Thursday 24 November 2011 1:55

That's too cute :)

himoonkey 8

Thursday 24 November 2011 1:55

Damn disney movies ruining little kiddies lives >:L

ihavebrokenshoes 0

Thursday 24 November 2011 1:57

Hahaha omfg...

idl3mind 0

Thursday 24 November 2011 2:06

Hilarious. Kids are so much fun.

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 538

You deserved it 10 056

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 491

You deserved it 15 057

The Top

Today, I came home after ten hours at work to find my unemployed wife and 4 kids sprawled out watching TV waiting for me to get home and cook for them. I had to wash all the dishes first because they didn't feel like getting up or helping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 186

You deserved it 9 143

Today, while walking my dog in the darkness, I bent down to pick up his poop. I screamed like a little girl as his morning turd leapt up my arm, covering my hand and jacket sleeve in soggy poop. My dog had curled one out onto a dozing frog. I skipped breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 612

You deserved it 646

Today, I was nervous about taking my cat to the vet for a UTI, because money’s a little tight. Turns out the antibiotics weren’t that expensive, but he wants at least $1,000 for dental surgery she apparently “needs.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 831

You deserved it 170

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 994

You deserved it 31 757

Today, it's been a few years since after I married my soulmate, and two years since he found he had a daughter with his ex. The last two years have been spent in custody court. Our savings are drained by support payments, and our own pregnancy plans are on indefinite hold. I can’t take much more. I want a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 159

You deserved it 218

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 151

You deserved it 14 409

Same thing different taste

Felt cute, might delete myself later

Shrek is love. Shrek is life.

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