Animals: Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a...

By Anonymous - 29/01/2011 08:09 - France

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 506

You deserved it 4 481

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/04/2011 02:21 - United States

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 604

You deserved it 8 666

By roze198765 - 04/08/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 867

You deserved it 4 387

Bad day?

By Anonymous - 16/02/2021 11:01

Today, after waking up to a spilled bottle of juice on my clothes, I heard my ex died. Whilst baking cookies to distract myself, I melted my work laptop on the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 305

By thebravelittletoaster - 20/03/2011 20:32 - United Kingdom

Today, the estranged crumbs in my toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, and my wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 362

You deserved it 9 861

By 12693 - 24/10/2012 17:35 - Australia - Perth

Today, there was a horrible smell in my kitchen. I tried to find the source, but failed and had to leave for the day. That night, my brother informed me that the smell was coming from a dead mouse stuck in our toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 575

You deserved it 2 107

By Anonymous - 12/09/2009 21:19 - United States

Today, I ignored my cat's incessant meowing, and pushed him away every time he wanted to be petted. The next time I walked downstairs I found him dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 666

You deserved it 96 613

Poor Despereaux

By Squeak - 06/02/2017 08:00 - United States - Fort Bragg

Today, I baked a cake. After feeding it to my entire family, I opened the stove, planning to temporarily store the cake inside. I then noticed a mouse, burnt to a crisp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 511

You deserved it 800

By a cat named tiddles - 30/03/2017 00:00

Today, my cat looked like it was about to puke, so I put it outside. Unhappy with the situation, it leaped on to the kitchen window ledge and squeezed in through the open window, only to projectile vomit mid-leap all over the kitchen counter. I found a hairball in the butter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 407

You deserved it 761

By Lifes_a_bust - 08/08/2010 16:22 - United States

Today, my cat died. But, before he could bite the dust, he left a goodbye present on my bed: a decapitated baby rabbit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 964

You deserved it 4 448

RIP

By Anonymous - 07/04/2011 07:11 - United Kingdom

Today, it was sunny and bright so I woke up feeling great. I pulled back the curtains in my room and saw my cat dead on the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 867

You deserved it 4 172

CitrusGirl 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 16:06

That cat's a pussy.

aryan_chris 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 16:10

Toasters a new weapon for murder now. What is the world coming to...

Comments

besosforme 26

Sunday 30 January 2011 6:04

I really hope you're not planning on having the cat cremated...

besosforme 26

Sunday 30 January 2011 10:13

That would just be cruel.

IxuntouchblexI 0

Sunday 30 January 2011 6:27

lol I got an asthma attack reading this.

Skatejock21 0

Sunday 30 January 2011 6:58

well said

Hunter148Cassie 0

Sunday 30 January 2011 6:34

haha I get it!

Hunter148Cassie 0

Sunday 30 January 2011 6:35

I agree with DocBastard! :)

Hunter148Cassie 0

Sunday 30 January 2011 6:38

On your profile you spelled the United States wrong, not trying to be a stalker or mean, just correcting you so you don't sound dumb.

3rdDegreeFreezer 0

Sunday 30 January 2011 7:22

Behold the darkside of toast. able to kill with a single pop from a toaster. sry bout ur cat though may he R.I.P.

country__chik 0

Sunday 30 January 2011 7:49

0.0 wouldn't toast pop out of a toaster, not bread?

sherivengeance 3

Sunday 30 January 2011 9:55

oh no!!!! was he really old or did he have a heart murmer? I'm so sorry :( poor kitty

wescoas 0

Sunday 30 January 2011 10:21

I laughed. Then thought about it, and felt sad. Sorry for your loss.

SirPlagueRat 6

Sunday 30 January 2011 11:36

That's pretty depressing, but I still laughed. Sorry for your loss.

Keywords

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I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 23

Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML

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Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by cooking dinner. As I was chopping onions, I cut my finger and started bleeding everywhere. She walked in, saw the blood on the onions, and almost passed out. FML

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You deserved it 124

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I agree, your life sucks 767

You deserved it 253

Today, while checking the men's bathroom at work, I noticed one of the air fresheners had fallen from the top of the paper towel holder into the garbage. It wasn't until I picked it up and examined it that I realized I was actually holding used urinal fresheners. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 443

You deserved it 1 592

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I agree, your life sucks 59 807

You deserved it 3 290

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I agree, your life sucks 26 316

You deserved it 1 887

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I agree, your life sucks 6 162

You deserved it 725

Same thing different taste

Bad day?

Poor Despereaux

RIP

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