Animals: Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a... - FML

By Anonymous - 29/01/2011 08:09 - France

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 506

You deserved it 4 481

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/04/2011 02:21 - United States

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 604

You deserved it 8 666

By roze198765 - 04/08/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 867

You deserved it 4 387

Bad day?

By Anonymous - 16/02/2021 11:01

Today, after waking up to a spilled bottle of juice on my clothes, I heard my ex died. Whilst baking cookies to distract myself, I melted my work laptop on the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 305

By thebravelittletoaster - 20/03/2011 20:32 - United Kingdom

Today, the estranged crumbs in my toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, and my wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 362

You deserved it 9 861

By 12693 - 24/10/2012 17:35 - Australia - Perth

Today, there was a horrible smell in my kitchen. I tried to find the source, but failed and had to leave for the day. That night, my brother informed me that the smell was coming from a dead mouse stuck in our toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 575

You deserved it 2 107

By Anonymous - 12/09/2009 21:19 - United States

Today, I ignored my cat's incessant meowing, and pushed him away every time he wanted to be petted. The next time I walked downstairs I found him dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 666

You deserved it 96 613

Poor Despereaux

By Squeak - 06/02/2017 08:00 - United States - Fort Bragg

Today, I baked a cake. After feeding it to my entire family, I opened the stove, planning to temporarily store the cake inside. I then noticed a mouse, burnt to a crisp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 511

You deserved it 800

By a cat named tiddles - 30/03/2017 00:00

Today, my cat looked like it was about to puke, so I put it outside. Unhappy with the situation, it leaped on to the kitchen window ledge and squeezed in through the open window, only to projectile vomit mid-leap all over the kitchen counter. I found a hairball in the butter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 407

You deserved it 761

By Lifes_a_bust - 08/08/2010 16:22 - United States

Today, my cat died. But, before he could bite the dust, he left a goodbye present on my bed: a decapitated baby rabbit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 964

You deserved it 4 448

RIP

By Anonymous - 07/04/2011 07:11 - United Kingdom

Today, it was sunny and bright so I woke up feeling great. I pulled back the curtains in my room and saw my cat dead on the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 867

You deserved it 4 172

Next

Top comments

CitrusGirl 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 16:06

That cat's a pussy.

aryan_chris 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 16:10

Toasters a new weapon for murder now. What is the world coming to...

Comments

5Jenna5 0

Sunday 30 January 2011 18:32

omg!!! poor cat!!

bettyboy 4

Monday 31 January 2011 0:39

On countless occations, the toaster has scared the shit out of me. It has yet to give me a heart attack though!

TheShadesMaster 0

Monday 31 January 2011 3:55

don't worry about it tho cats have 9 lives

ohpoopy 2

Monday 31 January 2011 4:26

sorry for the loss of ur cat i just cant imafaine that happining

grapisy 8

Monday 31 January 2011 7:19

i know its horrible of me to say this, but thats ******* hilarious.

thatonedude117 1

Monday 31 January 2011 8:35

LOL you have made my day

itsgen 16

Monday 31 January 2011 9:32

this is too funny

chantellesmith 0

Monday 31 January 2011 12:10

aww. I feel for you.. it's so hard when pets pass away..

Moo_Horse 0

Monday 31 January 2011 14:20

awww c thats y i dont eat toast. toast kills cats

bigantennaemay 3

Monday 31 January 2011 16:17

ah-HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!! ROFLMAO, HA HEH HEH HEE HEE HEE HA HA HA HA!!!!!! That is the funniest thing I've heard in days!!!!! Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!! Oh, man, that brings a tear of joy to my eye!

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I found out that my grandson is actually my stepson, my son is his half-brother, and my soon to be ex-husband impregnated our son’s wife, who’s a third his age. Yet somehow my slimy ex is the victim in all this because our son beat him to a bloody pulp while I did nothing to stop it. FML

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You deserved it 90

Today, my adult daughter was hospitalized for severe fever, diarrhea, and fainting. The doctor couldn't find any cause other than sleep deprivation, because I started making her wake up at 7 am. I’ve never met anyone so ridiculously weak in my entire life. FML

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You deserved it 589

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 34 633

You deserved it 17 493

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I agree, your life sucks 19 638

You deserved it 55 636

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I agree, your life sucks 45 953

You deserved it 4 061

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I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 162

Today, after working an 11 hour shift, I decided to treat myself to a delicious Krispy Kreme doughnut. When I got home, I sat down, put my feet up, poured myself a cold glass of milk. My dog jumps on my lap and vomits all over my doughnuts, stares at me then bites the doughnut out of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 374

You deserved it 5 376

Today, I was driving down a one-way street, when some raging dumbass came screaming the wrong way down the road at me. My instant reaction was to brake and give the guy a chance to do the same. His instant reaction was to keep going and wreck my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 058

You deserved it 3 081