Animals: Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a...

By Anonymous - 29/01/2011 08:09 - France

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 506

You deserved it 4 481

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/04/2011 02:21 - United States

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 604

You deserved it 8 666

By roze198765 - 04/08/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 867

You deserved it 4 387

Bad day?

By Anonymous - 16/02/2021 11:01

Today, after waking up to a spilled bottle of juice on my clothes, I heard my ex died. Whilst baking cookies to distract myself, I melted my work laptop on the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 305

By thebravelittletoaster - 20/03/2011 20:32 - United Kingdom

Today, the estranged crumbs in my toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, and my wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 362

You deserved it 9 861

By 12693 - 24/10/2012 17:35 - Australia - Perth

Today, there was a horrible smell in my kitchen. I tried to find the source, but failed and had to leave for the day. That night, my brother informed me that the smell was coming from a dead mouse stuck in our toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 575

You deserved it 2 107

By Anonymous - 12/09/2009 21:19 - United States

Today, I ignored my cat's incessant meowing, and pushed him away every time he wanted to be petted. The next time I walked downstairs I found him dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 666

You deserved it 96 613

Poor Despereaux

By Squeak - 06/02/2017 08:00 - United States - Fort Bragg

Today, I baked a cake. After feeding it to my entire family, I opened the stove, planning to temporarily store the cake inside. I then noticed a mouse, burnt to a crisp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 511

You deserved it 800

By a cat named tiddles - 30/03/2017 00:00

Today, my cat looked like it was about to puke, so I put it outside. Unhappy with the situation, it leaped on to the kitchen window ledge and squeezed in through the open window, only to projectile vomit mid-leap all over the kitchen counter. I found a hairball in the butter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 407

You deserved it 761

By Lifes_a_bust - 08/08/2010 16:22 - United States

Today, my cat died. But, before he could bite the dust, he left a goodbye present on my bed: a decapitated baby rabbit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 964

You deserved it 4 448

RIP

By Anonymous - 07/04/2011 07:11 - United Kingdom

Today, it was sunny and bright so I woke up feeling great. I pulled back the curtains in my room and saw my cat dead on the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 867

You deserved it 4 172

CitrusGirl 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 16:06

That cat's a pussy.

aryan_chris 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 16:10

Toasters a new weapon for murder now. What is the world coming to...

Comments

potatoebee 0

Monday 2 April 2012 19:00

I feel guilty cuz I laughed at that but srry for your loss:(

jmanh 6

Wednesday 11 April 2012 4:10

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA sucker.

TrippingOnAcid 29

Thursday 26 July 2012 0:49

Aw! This is the saddest thing I saw all day! :( Well, except baby Ellie on Ice Age 2

giggitygoo12 7

Saturday 28 July 2012 2:19

Haha

AwesomeSkySky 1

Sunday 29 July 2012 1:37

That sucks. Now you'll cry everytime you make breakfast..

smoshiee 8

Monday 30 July 2012 21:17

That's why my grandma has 5 cats and no toaster

livinginabook 24

Wednesday 12 September 2012 5:40

How horrible am I when my first reaction to reading this fml was to laugh?

infinitron 7

Monday 15 October 2012 4:51

*reads FML* *laughs* ... *realization* *cries*

YourLifeSucks236 4

Sunday 18 November 2012 8:28

I knew it! Toast iiiiiis dangerous ! e_e

DarthVader77 9

Sunday 16 December 2012 16:23

This is the way I want to go

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 491

You deserved it 15 057

Today, my husband returned from a 6-week business trip. During that time, I put myself on a very strict diet/exercise regimen so I could surprise him with a hefty weight loss. He took one look at me and demanded to know who I was fucking on the side. Yeah, because that’s the only reason I lost weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 146

You deserved it 228

The Top

Today, I was called a wimp for getting a sunburn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 150

Today, the reality of how shattered my mental health is truly hit me when I spent ten minutes crying after a bot beat me at a card game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 254

Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 237

Today, my mom read my diary. Then she frantically booked me an appointment with a psychiatrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 113

You deserved it 5 904

Today, I read through my phone, hoping there weren't any drunk texts by me from the night before. Apparently I dirty texted everyone, even my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 913

You deserved it 39 294

That's amore...

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 84

Same thing different taste

Bad day?

Poor Despereaux

RIP

Top comments

Comments