Intimacy: Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he... - FML

By Patrick R - 09/06/2011 16:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he owes me. In the memo line, he wrote "for swallowing". Now I have to go cash it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 171

You deserved it 7 000

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/09/2012 13:46 - United States

Today, I was finally paid back by a friend who wrote a check out. Not really looking at it, I went to the bank to deposit it. As I handed it to the teller, I noticed that he had written "sex" in the "for" memo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 563

You deserved it 4 118

By Anonymous - 11/07/2012 05:29 - United States - Dallas

Today, my boss asked me if he could pay me in gum. Thinking he was playing around, I agreed. He wasn't playing around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 014

You deserved it 9 874

What?

By Patrick - 29/10/2020 03:08 - Trinidad and Tobago - Couva

Today, my coworker got a raise by making our boss give me a pay cut for doing his job while he was slacking off. As we were heading home for the day, he found $100. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 231

You deserved it 103

Drunken antics

By qx5 - 08/01/2011 22:05 - Canada

Today, I put my paycheck in my wallet, intending to cash it in the next day. Later on, I met up with a friend and went to a party. I ended up getting so drunk, I gave away my $400 check in exchange for a pack of smokes, thinking it was a $5 bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 524

You deserved it 58 097

By Elmoo - 01/06/2012 01:20 - Netherlands

Today, I was at work when a customer, who was going to pay for her groceries, started sorting through her money. She put some coins in her mouth, seemed to suck on them for a while, and then gave them to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 576

You deserved it 1 951

Seize the means of production

By vikts - 29/05/2012 17:52 - Luxembourg - Olm

Today, I discovered that as thanks for my successful efforts to increase my company's monthly revenue, my dumbass of a boss has been awarded a pay bonus. He's wasted no time telling everyone about the sports car he's planning to buy with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 343

You deserved it 1 955

By Anonymous - 13/05/2014 19:23 - Canada - Charlottetown

Today, everyone at the office was finally presented with the bonuses our boss had promised to pay us by the end of last year. Turns out he was never authorized to promise any such thing, so he ended up just giving us signed "thank you" letters instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 914

You deserved it 3 421

All in a day's work

By Steve-noh - 10/08/2018 23:30

Today, at my job as a waiter I sharted myself while taking an order. They tipped me $20 and wrote "for new underwear" on the receipt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 161

You deserved it 595

The customer is sometimes devious

By dontgivemechecks - 16/03/2020 14:00

Today, I found out that I accidentally returned a customer her $147 check she had written out to pay for her groceries and receive cash back. The lady got free groceries and money, and I'm now losing my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 273

You deserved it 700

By A. - 15/04/2009 07:48 - Canada

Today, after two weeks of living on plain pasta, I finally got my paycheck and was excited that I'd get real food, and ride the subway instead of exhausting my malnourished body with the two-hour walk to work. My surname was misspelt on the check; the bank is holding it for ten days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 302

You deserved it 4 110

Next

Top comments

Idonebeenhad 17

Thursday 9 June 2011 23:27

How'd it taste?

mattmadden 0

Friday 10 June 2011 0:10

A brain...

Comments

xrudeboyrock 29

Friday 10 June 2011 0:02

HA. That's funny. I'm sure the teller won't even bother to read it, and I doubt they'll comment if they do. Just go to a bank you never go to, and you don't have to see them again!

xk75 4

Friday 10 June 2011 0:05

whatever just cross it out and deposit it at the ATM or drive through. lame fml. f your coworker's life for still using a checkbook for anything besides rent.

ThisRandomChild 0

Friday 10 June 2011 0:09

Its even more awkward cause ur a guy O.O

TheresNoEffingwa 7

Friday 10 June 2011 0:12

that guy is a winner

omg_a_BALLOON 0

Friday 10 June 2011 0:14

Was it for swallowing a staple?

anakaren_831 1

Friday 10 June 2011 0:23

I really love when people reference other FMLs :)

MissFukMyLuck 0

Friday 10 June 2011 0:22

what this guy said! go to a male banker. they won't hate, you will be looked upon in admiration

zarden 0

Friday 10 June 2011 0:23

people still write cheques?!

SpeakingMyMind 0

Friday 10 June 2011 4:06

No, but people still write 'checks.'

scrapmetal58 9

Friday 10 June 2011 4:51

^ Idiot.

youshitme 9

Friday 10 June 2011 8:06

Cheque is the correct spelling of the word, 'check' is a bastardisation of the correct English spelling. if you're thinking of writing that 'bastardisation' should be written as 'bastardization', you'd also be incorrect, 'bastardization' is a bastardisation of 'bastardisation'.

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Friday 10 June 2011 21:13

143: You're niggling there. "Check" and the -ize suffix have both gained their legitimacy in the US through common usage. Since this website has an international membership, both are correct here. Language evolves. Deal with it.

ShakeMeDown 12

Monday 13 June 2011 6:52

in America we speak American!

GEFStryker 29

Monday 13 June 2011 7:22

In America you elected Bush two terms in a row. Yea, it was THAT stupid that we foreigners can still joke about it. So off with your American ways, ya fruity nutter.

jennuh 0

Sunday 26 June 2011 8:09

Smart guys are hottt:)

DriizztD 0

Friday 10 June 2011 0:25

love it. id go cash it and hand him back the cash. 100 points for effort and another 100 for just pure smarts. this made my day OP.

DriizztD 0

Friday 10 June 2011 0:25

love it. id go cash it and hand him back the cash. 100 points for effort and another 100 for just pure smarts. this made my day OP.

gingerlr 0

Friday 10 June 2011 0:27

your co-worker is a legend

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was walking in the freezing rain when a guy asked me if I wanted to share his umbrella with him. I grinned and told him I did. He then noticed a pretty girl walking behind me and he abruptly turned to her and asked her the same question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 972

You deserved it 2 303

Today, I tried to get a picture of a cute cat while on my morning walk. The cat didn't run away scared, it was even as if he knew it was "strike a pose" time. Then, out of nowhere, a seagull swooped down and stole my breakfast bagel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 226

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 389

You deserved it 308

Today, we had my grandmother with dementia round for tea. She looked me up and down and said, very matter-of-factly, "Well, with a figure like that, no one will rape you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 338

You deserved it 2 400

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 141

You deserved it 4 663

Today, my boyfriend proposed. Three hours later, he called me to tell me he was kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 272

You deserved it 2 577

Today, I found out that the money my boyfriend has "secretly" been putting away for the last two months is not for an engagement ring like I'd thought, but for a trip to Vegas I'm not invited to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 345

You deserved it 7 647

Today, I was working at the Soup Kitchen handing out special christmas dinners to the homeless. At the end of the day I collected my things and went home. It was only then I discovered that my wallet, phone, pager and (for some reason) my glasses has been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 463

You deserved it 4 610