Intimacy: Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he...

By Patrick R - 09/06/2011 16:01 - United States

Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he owes me. In the memo line, he wrote "for swallowing". Now I have to go cash it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 171

You deserved it 7 000

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/09/2012 13:46 - United States

Today, I was finally paid back by a friend who wrote a check out. Not really looking at it, I went to the bank to deposit it. As I handed it to the teller, I noticed that he had written "sex" in the "for" memo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 563

You deserved it 4 118

By Anonymous - 11/07/2012 05:29 - United States - Dallas

Today, my boss asked me if he could pay me in gum. Thinking he was playing around, I agreed. He wasn't playing around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 014

You deserved it 9 874

What?

By Patrick - 29/10/2020 03:08 - Trinidad and Tobago - Couva

Today, my coworker got a raise by making our boss give me a pay cut for doing his job while he was slacking off. As we were heading home for the day, he found $100. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 231

You deserved it 103

Drunken antics

By qx5 - 08/01/2011 22:05 - Canada

Today, I put my paycheck in my wallet, intending to cash it in the next day. Later on, I met up with a friend and went to a party. I ended up getting so drunk, I gave away my $400 check in exchange for a pack of smokes, thinking it was a $5 bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 524

You deserved it 58 097

By Elmoo - 01/06/2012 01:20 - Netherlands

Today, I was at work when a customer, who was going to pay for her groceries, started sorting through her money. She put some coins in her mouth, seemed to suck on them for a while, and then gave them to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 576

You deserved it 1 951

Seize the means of production

By vikts - 29/05/2012 17:52 - Luxembourg - Olm

Today, I discovered that as thanks for my successful efforts to increase my company's monthly revenue, my dumbass of a boss has been awarded a pay bonus. He's wasted no time telling everyone about the sports car he's planning to buy with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 343

You deserved it 1 955

By Anonymous - 13/05/2014 19:23 - Canada - Charlottetown

Today, everyone at the office was finally presented with the bonuses our boss had promised to pay us by the end of last year. Turns out he was never authorized to promise any such thing, so he ended up just giving us signed "thank you" letters instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 914

You deserved it 3 421

All in a day's work

By Steve-noh - 10/08/2018 23:30

Today, at my job as a waiter I sharted myself while taking an order. They tipped me $20 and wrote "for new underwear" on the receipt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 161

You deserved it 595

The customer is sometimes devious

By dontgivemechecks - 16/03/2020 14:00

Today, I found out that I accidentally returned a customer her $147 check she had written out to pay for her groceries and receive cash back. The lady got free groceries and money, and I'm now losing my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 273

You deserved it 700

By A. - 15/04/2009 07:48 - Canada

Today, after two weeks of living on plain pasta, I finally got my paycheck and was excited that I'd get real food, and ride the subway instead of exhausting my malnourished body with the two-hour walk to work. My surname was misspelt on the check; the bank is holding it for ten days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 302

You deserved it 4 110

Idonebeenhad 17

Thursday 9 June 2011 23:27

How'd it taste?

mattmadden 0

Friday 10 June 2011 0:10

A brain...

Comments

64ponygirl 1

Friday 10 June 2011 6:40

win. 2nd funniest ever.

GEFStryker 29

Friday 10 June 2011 6:53

So what flavor was his Gogurt stick?

tom_es 3

Friday 10 June 2011 8:53

Who cares what people think!

Namenlos_fml 20

Friday 10 June 2011 11:29

Ok, it sucks that your coworker wrote that memo line, but I have to admit, it is kinda funny.

krystal2424 0

Friday 10 June 2011 11:39

when you give it to the teller... wink. haha

Trent_21 6

Friday 10 June 2011 12:40

co-worker= win

Kemal33T 0

Friday 10 June 2011 12:52

sounds like he didn't want to pay you back lol

orlykid 0

Friday 10 June 2011 12:53

ydi for spelling cheque wrong

mercedes3210 6

Friday 10 June 2011 15:38

sparty12 2

Friday 10 June 2011 16:55

you should be proud

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 579

You deserved it 5 576

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 636

You deserved it 42 713

The Top

Today, my horrible parents turned up to the restaurant I work at just to mess with me. Dad forgot his wallet, what a surprise, and asked me to pay the bill. I refused so my manager got involved. My dad got arrested, I got fired and might lose my lousy flat if I’m late on the rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 054

You deserved it 1 116

Today, my cell phone rang while I was still asleep. I picked it up, half asleep, only to find it was a wrong number from some guy. Three minutes later I receive a text message saying "Hey, you sound cute..." from the same number. I looked to see if he was local. I'm that desperate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 680

You deserved it 10 106

Today, my little brother got a tattoo honoring our mom who abused us. The only reason I stayed was to protect him. I feel like I wasted my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 300

You deserved it 96

Today I remembered to put my work uniform in the wash; as I hit start I got an email notification. My landlord confirmed that the engineer will be out to fix the washing machine tomorrow after my housemate reported it as broken. My clothes are locked in the machine that now won't turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 220

You deserved it 226

Today, I went for a lunch interview for my dream job. The interview was great and at the end, I tried to seal the deal by complimenting my future boss. I said, "You're really hardworking. Do you always work on a Saturday?" He looked at me, smiled and then wrote something down. Today's Friday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 844

You deserved it 59 905

Today, I tried to put a drinking glass on the top rack at the dish sink where I work, but lost my grip. The glass then fell into my coworker's face, the bridge of her nose to be exact. X-rays confirmed that I broke her nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 130