Love: Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower...

By Anonymous - 07/06/2009 00:38 - Canada

Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 289

You deserved it 7 352

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/10/2011 21:08 - United Kingdom

Today, my younger cousin bought his girlfriend of 3 months a bunch of flowers. The only flower I've ever got from my boyfriend of 3 years is a plastic one he found on the floor in a bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 503

You deserved it 4 466

By Mr_Jah - 04/07/2016 20:33 - United States - Boerne

Today, I got offered a free $80 salon haircut by a girl I've liked for awhile. Thinking this was my chance to get close to her, I accepted, only to find out it was for a class her boyfriend was teaching. He was the one cutting my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 490

You deserved it 2 210

By yoggabe - 18/08/2012 20:34 - Mexico - Villahermosa

Today, I found out that my six year old cousin has a raging crush on my boyfriend. She lives across the street and watches from her window for his car to appear in front of my house. She's indicated that she'll stop at nothing until he's hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 543

You deserved it 2 351

Kids say the dumbest things…

By Marymary - 27/08/2019 20:00

Today, my cousins and I were walking past bars, choosing one go to. I recently got my hair cut short and thought it was cute. A little boy walking beside us looked at me and said, "Are you a boy?" His mother shushed him and said, "No dear, she's just flat-chested." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 665

You deserved it 281

By Pseudo - 21/06/2016 05:33 - France - Vitry-le-fran?ois

Today, I asked my little cousin if he had a girlfriend if he had a girlfriend. “Yes,“ he said. “Two, but I’m going to keep the one with the biggest boobs.“ He’s 7. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 327

You deserved it 1 546

By Anonymous - 02/07/2015 02:04 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, I sent the girl I like flowers, only to have her later post a picture of them online, saying, "Ha! When losers send you flowers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 778

You deserved it 2 605

By Anonymous - 28/09/2011 21:52 - United States

Today, the boy I like came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 834

You deserved it 2 782

By Az - 13/06/2012 00:24 - United States - Dallas

Today, I woke up to a guy outside my house, who wanted to give me flowers and take me out on a date. Aside from it all being pretty fucking creepy anyway, the guy is my not quite right in the head second cousin, who's apparently now head-over-heels in love with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 925

You deserved it 2 383

By Chensticles - 14/10/2009 01:25 - France

Today, I went to my hairdresser who promised me a haircut which "all the girls would want you" for. She gave me a combover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 194

You deserved it 3 652

Lost again

By Anonymous - 31/12/2019 20:00

Today, the boy I like, came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 808

You deserved it 196

nuked 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 9:37

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHA!!! Epic WIN!

Rauron 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 9:36

lolwut Are flowers the new hanky code?

Comments

PokeyStix 3

Wednesday 10 June 2009 23:29

OH BURN Your cousin sounds like a legend!

notsocrafty 0

Friday 12 June 2009 4:59

That is hilarious!

jewelzgalore 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 7:19

This is ******* hilarious! I swear, your cousin is going to be the next big comedian.

Baby_gurl13 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 22:12

what a mean kid

Baby_gurl13 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 22:12

what a mean kid

monkey314159 0

Monday 15 June 2009 3:45

pwnt by an 11 year old.

jesssg47 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 3:23

wow.....where in the hell was thiss rule at?

ghost010 6

Monday 15 March 2010 16:07

This occurs in Hawaii, but it's actually the larger the flower the more desperate the girl is.

chocotia 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 4:21

yay! 808 people =)) cool .. ha i dont even wear flowers n my hair or ear anymore.. last time i picked a plumeria i got ant bites on my ears. lol

squigglyshark 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 6:51

Too late, she already has an palm tree in her hair. It's called my penis. lol.

fuzz97 23

Tuesday 2 March 2010 6:11

rofl

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Today, I really wanted to spend a night of passion with my lover, so I'd arranged to meet him in a very classy hotel, gave him the room number, and waited for him in a super-sexy outfit. There was a knock at the door, so I opened it slowly and enticingly, assuming it was him. It was room service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 406

You deserved it 11 953

Stop everything you're doing right now, there's an (almost) naked lady in today's illustration! Plus, there's a puppet AND doctors. It's the perfect illustration, made by Gemma Correll, our British artist of the day. Check out her interview! ...

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 9

The Top

Today, I told my family about my dreams to get a modern car and house with my girlfriend, since I'm tired of fixing my '90s car and paying for my dad's rent and doing all his housework. They then told me I'm selfish for trying to leave them and that I don't care about them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 205

You deserved it 99

Today, I attempted to assemble a piece of furniture that claimed to be "easy to build in minutes." Four hours and multiple arguments later, I realized I had misread the instructions, and half the parts were upside down. I'm pretty sure the furniture won this round. FML

I agree, your life sucks 230

You deserved it 711

Today, while my girlfriend was playing a game on my phone, an unknown number sent me a nude picture and the words "Miss you, baby." This person's mistake just cost me a black eye, and probably my relationship too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 276

You deserved it 4 300

Today, I was walking down the street in downtown Charleston where there are a lot of horse-drawn carriage tours and I decided to pick up some litter. Some of it was in a puddle of water, but after I picked up the trash, I realized the puddle was horse urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 207

You deserved it 9 357

Today, a coworker asked me out and we’ve been on a few dates. I had no idea why she’d want to date me, until after we had sex and she started crying and confessed she was molested as a teen, and since her attacker was short and gross like me, she wanted to use me to work out her repressed issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 612

You deserved it 170

Today, I took my hoodie off in public and my shirt accidentally lifted up with it. I've had bad skin problems since I was 12 or 13, and my chest looks horrific as a result. Everyone in my vicinity reacted with horror and called me all sorts of awful names. Nice to know that my appearance makes me that repulsive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 110

Same thing different taste

Kids say the dumbest things…

Lost again

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