Love: Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower...

By Anonymous - 07/06/2009 00:38 - Canada

Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 289

You deserved it 7 352

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/10/2011 21:08 - United Kingdom

Today, my younger cousin bought his girlfriend of 3 months a bunch of flowers. The only flower I've ever got from my boyfriend of 3 years is a plastic one he found on the floor in a bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 503

You deserved it 4 466

By Mr_Jah - 04/07/2016 20:33 - United States - Boerne

Today, I got offered a free $80 salon haircut by a girl I've liked for awhile. Thinking this was my chance to get close to her, I accepted, only to find out it was for a class her boyfriend was teaching. He was the one cutting my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 490

You deserved it 2 210

By yoggabe - 18/08/2012 20:34 - Mexico - Villahermosa

Today, I found out that my six year old cousin has a raging crush on my boyfriend. She lives across the street and watches from her window for his car to appear in front of my house. She's indicated that she'll stop at nothing until he's hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 543

You deserved it 2 351

Kids say the dumbest things…

By Marymary - 27/08/2019 20:00

Today, my cousins and I were walking past bars, choosing one go to. I recently got my hair cut short and thought it was cute. A little boy walking beside us looked at me and said, "Are you a boy?" His mother shushed him and said, "No dear, she's just flat-chested." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 665

You deserved it 281

By Pseudo - 21/06/2016 05:33 - France - Vitry-le-fran?ois

Today, I asked my little cousin if he had a girlfriend if he had a girlfriend. “Yes,“ he said. “Two, but I’m going to keep the one with the biggest boobs.“ He’s 7. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 327

You deserved it 1 546

By Anonymous - 02/07/2015 02:04 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, I sent the girl I like flowers, only to have her later post a picture of them online, saying, "Ha! When losers send you flowers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 778

You deserved it 2 605

By Anonymous - 28/09/2011 21:52 - United States

Today, the boy I like came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 834

You deserved it 2 782

By Az - 13/06/2012 00:24 - United States - Dallas

Today, I woke up to a guy outside my house, who wanted to give me flowers and take me out on a date. Aside from it all being pretty fucking creepy anyway, the guy is my not quite right in the head second cousin, who's apparently now head-over-heels in love with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 925

You deserved it 2 383

By Chensticles - 14/10/2009 01:25 - France

Today, I went to my hairdresser who promised me a haircut which "all the girls would want you" for. She gave me a combover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 194

You deserved it 3 652

Lost again

By Anonymous - 31/12/2019 20:00

Today, the boy I like, came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 808

You deserved it 196

nuked 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 9:37

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHA!!! Epic WIN!

Rauron 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 9:36

lolwut Are flowers the new hanky code?

Comments

Jessaly_fml 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 10:59

I want to meet this cousin :D

McLaughlane 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 11:01

LOL aww I'm sorry, that's so mean...but you've gotta laugh that shit off. FYL ;)

rinnychan 2

Sunday 7 June 2009 11:09

That's the cutest thing I've ever heard! Woulda been cuter if he was five though.

Xero3g 5

Sunday 7 June 2009 11:21

I'll take your advice the next time I'm in Hawaii. Mmm... cute foreign girls...

MeleMallory 0

Monday 26 September 2011 9:59

I hope you're not from the US. But if you are, and you think Hawaii is foreign...*facepalm

Awesomesaurus 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 11:23

No, I'm sick of this. I hate how everything has to ******* mean something now. Staight guys can't get their right ears pierced because it somehow means they're gay. 12 year old girls can't wear those stupid rubber bracelets anymore because now they mean sex stuff and the girl will be acused of being a little ****. And now, a girl can't walk down the street with a flower in her hair without getting hit on. WHAT IF IT JUST LOOKED NICE, PEOPLE?!?! OP, you deserved this because you're acting as part of what's destroying self expression.

cyaneyedangel 2

Friday 29 October 2010 5:02

this is the best comment ever!

dcubed121 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 11:43

why do we need to know if someone is available in advance. you could, you know, ask the person. is it really that hard?

Tori_xoxo 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 11:44

Lol :l..

satinslippers 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 11:46

How can you be more available? You can be more desperate but you certainly can not be more available than available.

alyren16 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 12:08

#35 Only immature people think that. And obv. you seem to care what they think. Who the hell cares if a 12 year old is wearing coloured plastic braclets. I haven't heard of that stuff since I was like, 10. 6 years ago. So you can stop over thinking this shit and move on and do your own thing. =]