Kids: Today, my cousin taught me how to make dinner. My cousin is in...

By Anonymous - 10/06/2011 21:22 - United States

Today, my cousin taught me how to make dinner. My cousin is in first grade and I'm in college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 502

You deserved it 41 189

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Same thing different taste

Impossible relationship

By Anonymous - 05/11/2019 16:30

Today, I had another dinner with the girl that I started dating a few weeks ago. During dinner, we talked about our families. We realized that we're actually cousins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 920

You deserved it 210

Epipen time!

By Anonymous - 17/08/2010 17:06 - Canada

Today, my aunt asked me to babysit my cousin. She gave me a warning that he says he's allergic to foods to get out of eating them. When I brought out my homemade cooking, he told me he was allergic, so I made him eat it anyway. Turns out he WAS allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 982

You deserved it 13 267

Good old gender stereotypes

By Brian - 05/11/2020 13:59 - Macedonia - Skopje

Today, I couldn't open a jar of mayo and my cousin had to open it for me. She's a 16 year-old girl and I'm a 24 year-old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 806

Speak for yourself

By Anonymous - 21/08/2019 12:00

Today, I was at a fancy family dinner. The dish I'd made was served, and as we ate, I told my aunt that I was a total failure as a cook, explaining everything wrong about my dish, in painful detail. Apparently we'd both made the same dish. That one wasn't mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 1 656

By Anonymous - 22/06/2019 18:02

Today, I offered to help my mother-in-law boil noodles for some noodle soup. She loudly said, "You know how!?" I'm a chef. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 621

You deserved it 142

By jellybean_94 - 15/08/2009 04:33 - Canada

Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137 435

You deserved it 7 376

By Murphy - 26/08/2018 03:30

Today, I bought ingredients for one of my favorite meals and went home to take a nap. When I woke up, my sister had cooked them for everyone else in the house, who ate it all without me. I was told that I shouldn't be angry, but instead proud of my adult sister because, "She cooked!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 070

You deserved it 234

By Anonymous - 28/04/2009 20:47 - Canada

Today, my kids told me that for the FIRST time, my cooking was delicious. I made Kraft dinner that night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 216

You deserved it 8 420

By eww - 13/06/2012 06:13 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I was at a big family reunion at my aunt's place. Before dinner, I went outside in the garden for a smoke. Through the kitchen window, I saw my cousin spit in the soup. Twice. My aunt patted his back and continued stirring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 884

You deserved it 2 608

By babybambi - 29/12/2018 02:00

Today, I got food poisoning for the first time after cooking. Yesterday, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 381

You deserved it 289

Big_Red_138 3

Saturday 11 June 2011 2:26

I'm in college too. Ramen ftw!!

Darcon 8

Saturday 11 June 2011 2:26

Noob.

Comments

Kulla 6

Saturday 11 June 2011 4:02

haha must of been one of those rich kids who had everything handed to u. i bet now u feel dumb u got taught by a 5 yr ols

AJG1997 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 4:28

Did the kid show you how to wipe your butt, too?

mariselita93 7

Saturday 11 June 2011 4:30

shame on you!

AJG1997 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 4:32

shame on me?

meggieh815 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 17:49

no. on OP. she didn't comment on your post. haha :)

mzfoxy31 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 4:36

Awww, that's so cute!! :)

cupcakeluver1212 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 5:05

Aww family love and support:)

fadingfaith 4

Saturday 11 June 2011 5:21

You should have taken a cooking class in highschool.

missy1228 2

Saturday 11 June 2011 5:26

microwavable macaroni does not count

Smallory426 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 5:28

ramen is badass. naruto knows what he was talking about ;)

LilSideTwerk 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 5:57

kinda sad. but I knew how to cook in 2nd. I just watched read and watched Cooking Stuff

MikalaHart 4

Saturday 11 June 2011 6:00

Well did you at least teach you well?

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The Top

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 642

You deserved it 5 884

Today, my roommate wanted me to try out a new bus route home, I knew it might take longer but she really wanted me to try, so I went with her. After waiting for ages at The Exchange bus stop for the last bus home, we missed it, and had to take an Uber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 174

The Top

Today, it's been three months since my sister broke her car, meaning she couldn't get to work, and I've giving her money every month so she could buy food and so on. I just found out that her workplace is less than 200 metres from where she lives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 275

You deserved it 5 165

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 607

You deserved it 15 134

Today, I had to write an essay for school explaining what motivates me to study. The more I tried to write it, the more I realized I've been wasting my time going back to school, and I never really wanted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 188

Today, I stopped at a red light. I noticed the car in front of me had their reverse lights on. I thought to myself, "Meh, that person must know. They wouldn't do that." The light turned green. Turns out they didn't. Nor did they have insurance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 917

You deserved it 5 121

Today, once again, I told a guy who’s been hounding me for ages that I’m not interested. After being asked repeatedly and turning him down politely for so long, I finally snapped and cussed his ass out. Now I’m known as "the bitch" for hurting such a "nice guy's" feelings. I need new friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 564

You deserved it 173

Today, my girlfriend got a sexy new tattoo as a surprise for me. It’s on her boob in Japanese, next to a pair of sexy lips, and she claims it says "Oral Queen." I'm fluent in Japanese so I wish she'd asked for my help first, because it actually translates to "Mouth Ruler" which is not sexy at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 227