Intimacy and Transportation: Today, my crush fell asleep on me on the bus. This would have...

By Anonymous - 26/01/2017 10:04 - United States - Newtown

Today, my crush fell asleep on me on the bus. This would have been fantastic if I didn't immediately have an erection in her ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 127

You deserved it 1 372

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Same thing different taste

By dickface - 28/03/2011 20:13 - Canada

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 802

You deserved it 30 068

Reunited

By Anonymous - 04/07/2024 00:00 - Sweden

Today, I fell asleep on the bus taking me home after a long hard day at work. I woke up with my head on a stranger’s shoulder, drooling. The worst part? The stranger was my crush from college, who I haven’t seen in years. Turns out we have the same bus route. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 133

By pandora - 13/06/2012 09:08 - Israel - Palmahim

Today, I fell asleep on the bus. When I woke up, my head was resting on the broad, tanned shoulder of the smoking hot guy sitting next to me. I had drooled a little. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 548

You deserved it 5 092

By marlow - 15/01/2009 02:25 - Canada

Today, the guy sitting beside me on the bus fell asleep and just drooled on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 868

You deserved it 2 718

By vishurricanes - 10/06/2009 03:34 - United States

Today, I was on the bus when my crush told me to come and sit with him. I got all excited, especially when he put his arm around me. He then whispered in my ear "Hey, is your friend over there single?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 857

You deserved it 3 239

By mavrick127 - 29/09/2016 14:21 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I finally had the chance to have sex with my crush. Too bad I couldn't get an erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 229

You deserved it 1 788

By nevergoingonabusagain - 30/05/2009 06:52 - Canada

Today, there were no more seats on the bus I was taking home, which meant I had to stand. I noticed that a creepy guy sitting in front of me had a boner, so I took a few steps back. Suddenly the bus went through something like a speed bump, which caused me to fall and sit on the man's lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 264

You deserved it 5 713

By Anonymous - 04/04/2013 18:04 - Portugal - Sintra

Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 035

You deserved it 7 289

By perverted teenage girl - 29/11/2016 21:51

Today, my crush was giving a presentation in class. I zoned out and began staring off into space - which happened to be in the exact direction of his crotch. When I realized what I was doing, I quickly looked up at his face. He was already looking at me, with an expression of severe discomfort. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 104

You deserved it 1 908

By Chris - 22/10/2009 04:57 - Canada

Today, I was riding the bus home from college. I was standing in the aisle and there was a rather cute girl sitting next to me. The bus came to an abrupt stop, I tripped, and fell into her lap. She shrieked, "Eww! Get off me!" and shove me onto the floor of the bus. Nice to know I'm revolting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 421

You deserved it 4 881

Wolverine48Ga 21

Wednesday 25 January 2017 22:42

No he just had a super long dick lol

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 26 January 2017 16:22

So, you're into aural sex?

Comments

ALonelyStranger 12

Thursday 26 January 2017 20:07

Next time that happens think of math and puppies dying

sammicchi 1

Thursday 26 January 2017 20:08

im sorry but this is just so ******* funny

BantasaurusRex 13

Thursday 26 January 2017 20:43

I bet she heard you coming

Tehzerr 1

Sunday 12 February 2017 17:15

coming? dafuq

pantsman66 20

Thursday 26 January 2017 23:48

Pretty awkward... maybe she likes your earection?

The_Bleeder 13

Friday 27 January 2017 0:41

You tried, props.

flakawaka 0

Friday 27 January 2017 7:34

Ever hear, hahahahha, of masturbation? Jesus

Suckmybigrooster 1

Friday 27 January 2017 8:09

Is your crush your brother

Suckmybigrooster 1

Friday 27 January 2017 8:09

Is your crush your brother

Balthios 6

Friday 27 January 2017 21:32

Just put a banana in your ear!

Turtlerocks 0

Friday 27 January 2017 22:55

maybe she wasn't even really sleeping. ? lol

DemCherries 4

Saturday 28 January 2017 2:19

lmao

Keywords

Family Miscellaneous DIY Cats Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Management Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Transportation Dogs Animals ADHD Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, I caught my husband of 13 years looking at other women in Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 416

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 2 156

The Top

Today, I helped my fiancé pack up and head to Texas for a business trip. I'm not only going to miss him, but I'll also miss my car keys that I accidentally left in his car. I drive for a living. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 591

You deserved it 15 560

Today, my 6-year-old son was being charming by smiling and batting his eyelashes at me. When I asked him, "What?" he replied, "When you die, can I have your hair?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 588

You deserved it 177

Today, after breaking up with my boyfriend, some of my friends decided to take me to a comedy club for a girls night. My friend's jealous husband decided he had to come along, then decided to invite my other friends' boyfriends. I ended up being the seventh wheel on a night meant to cheer me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 805

You deserved it 3 855

Today, I tried to redeem a gift certificate my fiance and I had been given for a free romance package at a hotel. The hotel closed permanently four years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 388

You deserved it 750

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend asked me, "Are you sure you're a guy?" I still have no idea what that was for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 873

You deserved it 6 363

Today, my husband called me selfish and ungrateful then canceled the cruise he’d booked as a surprise. I only asked if we could get a sitter for the kids. I’m a stay at home mom who homeschools and co-sleeps. We never get a single minute alone, so excuse me for wanting some adult time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 559

You deserved it 181

Same thing different taste

Reunited

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