Miscellaneous: Today, my dad approached two girls at a store and told them I'd...

By annonymous - 18/06/2012 01:57 - United States

Today, my dad approached two girls at a store and told them I'd crashed into their car. They didn't find it funny either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 352

You deserved it 2 043

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Same thing different taste

Two in one

By cactii - 16/02/2015 20:43 - United States

Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 446

You deserved it 14 433

McSteamy

By Anonymous - 07/11/2021 11:00

Today, I illicitly borrowed my dad's car to go to the store, but crashed into my mom's car as she and dad were returning from my grandma's house. Both cars are totalled, my mom is in hospital with a broken collarbone, and I realised dads really can make steam come out their ears if they’re really mad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 2 171

By Nchristine - 27/05/2010 20:59 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dad had backed into my already crappy car. The reason they didn't buy me a nicer car in the first place was they were afraid I'd wreck it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 936

You deserved it 4 143

By Emma Five - 14/03/2012 03:22 - United States

Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 601

You deserved it 32 268

By Krissy. - 31/03/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 773

You deserved it 4 994

Hell no

By Anonymous - 30/05/2009 05:07 - United States

Today, I got into my first car accident. Extremely upset, I called my parents, because it was their car and I didn't know what to do. I told them what happened, and asked if they were on their way to where I was. My dad's response was, "Hell no, we're eating dinner." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 080

You deserved it 8 933

By embarrassed - 21/07/2009 04:14 - United States

Today, I was driving and saw two hot girls on the sidewalk so I rolled down the window to whistle at them. However, I failed to notice that the car in front of me had stopped at a red light. I rear ended the car, the girls ran away laughing their asses off, and now I have to pay for the damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 781

You deserved it 117 690

He's still got it

By Anonymous - 26/10/2019 00:01

Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 705

You deserved it 151

By creys - 18/11/2012 07:04 - United States

Today, I went to Target with my dad, and he told me to get in the shopping cart. I thought he was being cool and wanted to push me around. He snorted and said he was thinking about crashing me into a car and suing the driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 211

You deserved it 2 514

By canadiansun - 26/02/2010 18:37 - United States

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my dad. He met him after my boyfriend ran his truck into a tree, and my dad had to pick us up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 213

You deserved it 4 057

astoryofroses 9

Monday 18 June 2012 9:03

happy father's day!

lajaynay 15

Monday 18 June 2012 9:08

What would possess him to do that? Like seriously? How is that even a good joke?

Comments

br0ccoli 14

Monday 18 June 2012 11:06

Worst wingman ever.

LittleDevil01 4

Monday 18 June 2012 12:19

what a lovely dad!

Feared 9

Monday 18 June 2012 14:12

I wonder where he was going with that ?...

SqueakyChipmunk 21

Monday 18 June 2012 23:20

Angry insurance sex?

desertpunk75 11

Monday 18 June 2012 15:38

Worst. Pickup. Line. Ever.

lilysmiles143 0

Monday 18 June 2012 16:24

omg thats too far soooo did u get beat up or somthn?

EnzaiFreak 1

Monday 18 June 2012 17:37

Troll Dad shrikes again

Ima_NeRD6213 4

Monday 18 June 2012 18:54

What!? I'm guessing you haven't seen the Allstate car insurance commercial. One of those girls has the potential to be your future wife! Thank Him

Leslier_fml 4

Monday 18 June 2012 21:51

Your dad sounds like homer simpson.

esandp234 0

Tuesday 19 June 2012 6:36

My best friend knocked over a bunch of motorcycled... When the guys came out, guess who got blamed.

cwtb19 0

Wednesday 20 June 2012 21:02

That's effed up.

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work My ex Jealousy Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my adult daughter was hospitalized for severe fever, diarrhea, and fainting. The doctor couldn't find any cause other than sleep deprivation, because I started making her wake up at 7 am. I’ve never met anyone so ridiculously weak in my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 553

Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 551

You deserved it 7 856

The Top

Today, it's been 4 years since I cheated on my boyfriend and we broke up. I've moved on within those four years, but I found out the reason I have such a hard time getting a new man now is because my ex, who still works the same minimum wage job, still goes out of his way to tell everyone he knows about our breakup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 1 465

Today, I had so much skin peeling off my lips that it got caught in my fork as I was eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 253

You deserved it 5 505

Today, I brought my boyfriend to my house for the first time. He freaked out when he saw my cat, and had to leave because he's allergic. I've posted many pictures of my cat in Instagram, but he didn't say anything about his allergy because he thought it was just a random cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 420

You deserved it 286

Today, I held in an explosive fart during a co-worker's rant and waited a few seconds after he left the room to release the Kraken. Forgetting something, he returned mid-fart. Before either of us could say anything, our boss came into the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 717

You deserved it 606

Today, I was in class when someone came in with a rose for me. My teacher made me read the card aloud: "I'm breaking up with you, happy Valentine's." It was from my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 177

You deserved it 3 465

Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 494

You deserved it 16 450