Intimacy: Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break....

By Une Fille - 18/12/2011 05:18 - Canada

Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19 of my sex toys. That's more than one sex toy per year that I've lived. I now have to face a 7-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 289

You deserved it 44 302

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Same thing different taste

Code of silence

By nean83 - 12/01/2013 05:11 - United States - Inglewood

Today, my dad was helping me move my stuff out. I'd asked my boyfriend to deal with my sex toys and lingerie, but still my dad showed up later at my new place, handed me a box full of them all, and simply said, "I don't want to know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 501

You deserved it 39 901

They see me rolling…

By CharlieP - 08/05/2023 22:00

Today, I’m walking around the streets with my stuff in a rolling suitcase. My mom saw fit to kick me out of the house because she found sextoys in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 148

You deserved it 238

By swtkiss1 - 18/02/2009 22:26 - United States

Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 919

You deserved it 58 640

Thanks, Dad!

By Sam - 28/11/2008 08:50 - France

Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 572

You deserved it 11 314

Sharing is caring

By Can't Unsee - 25/08/2018 22:00

Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 181

You deserved it 577

By Lois - 09/02/2013 12:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I found out my mother has enough toys to open a sex shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 760

You deserved it 5 957

By vibratorgirl - 08/03/2009 01:15 - United States

Today, I left my parents house to drive 90 minutes back to college. As I was getting off the exit for my school, I realized I left my bright pink vibrator sitting on my dresser back at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 097

You deserved it 73 919

By Anonymous - 21/01/2012 10:45 - Russian Federation

Today, I got home from my 6-week vacation. Apparently, my mum cleaned my room for me while I was gone because my vibrator was neatly tucked into my blanket, next to my pillow instead of being hidden under my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 459

You deserved it 9 321

By Anonymous - 26/12/2009 01:23 - United States

Today, as my dad was handing me my Christmas gift, he pats me on the shoulder and says, "These were mine, hope you enjoy them as much as I did." Thinking it was something special of his he wanted to hand down to me, I quickly unwrapped the box only to find old 70's porn. Merry Christmas? FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 567

You deserved it 3 394

By Sarah - 25/08/2009 16:04 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 654

You deserved it 10 420

perdix 29

Sunday 18 December 2011 12:45

Algebra fail! The problem is stated as an inequality. (Number of sex toys) > 1 x age Therefore, the OP must be 18 or younger.

ollie179 21

Sunday 18 December 2011 12:38

Well at least you weren't using them.

Comments

Track1991 0

Monday 19 December 2011 6:22

Ummmm, goooo! One isn't good enough lol.

nvo 6

Monday 19 December 2011 7:04

Better than walking in on you and 19 boyfriends ;-) ... get over the embarassment and hope that he will, too. It's not a bad thing.

chronick89 5

Monday 19 December 2011 7:47

this fml is arrousing.. were in the same city lets have a play date

blostorm 0

Monday 19 December 2011 8:06

Replace those sex toys by me! Im from mtl too!

onorexveritas 23

Monday 19 December 2011 8:29

I have zero... now im thinking maybe that's a good thing lol

justanotherhuman 21

Monday 19 December 2011 8:29

Dear OP, Cleaning and maintaining sex toys is akin to cleaning and maintaining firearms. You lock the doors, and don't answer anything until the job is done and the tools are safely back under lock and key. No exceptions. YDI.

hyden121 2

Monday 19 December 2011 9:07

That's hot. I think your dad would respect your privacy and hopefully surpass the awkwardness.

pookiepie 0

Monday 19 December 2011 9:15

wa-ow i mesn im hoping they arnt all ****** i mesn there are lots out there but common. i mean i easily have 20 sex toys but like rope. and i never clean any of them unless i use them during the day. other than that all at night even if its a just to be sure clean. duh!