Intimacy: Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break....

By Une Fille - 18/12/2011 05:18 - Canada

Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19 of my sex toys. That's more than one sex toy per year that I've lived. I now have to face a 7-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 289

You deserved it 44 302

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Same thing different taste

Code of silence

By nean83 - 12/01/2013 05:11 - United States - Inglewood

Today, my dad was helping me move my stuff out. I'd asked my boyfriend to deal with my sex toys and lingerie, but still my dad showed up later at my new place, handed me a box full of them all, and simply said, "I don't want to know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 501

You deserved it 39 901

They see me rolling…

By CharlieP - 08/05/2023 22:00

Today, I’m walking around the streets with my stuff in a rolling suitcase. My mom saw fit to kick me out of the house because she found sextoys in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 148

You deserved it 238

By swtkiss1 - 18/02/2009 22:26 - United States

Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 919

You deserved it 58 640

Thanks, Dad!

By Sam - 28/11/2008 08:50 - France

Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 572

You deserved it 11 314

Sharing is caring

By Can't Unsee - 25/08/2018 22:00

Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 181

You deserved it 577

By Lois - 09/02/2013 12:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I found out my mother has enough toys to open a sex shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 760

You deserved it 5 957

By vibratorgirl - 08/03/2009 01:15 - United States

Today, I left my parents house to drive 90 minutes back to college. As I was getting off the exit for my school, I realized I left my bright pink vibrator sitting on my dresser back at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 097

You deserved it 73 919

By Anonymous - 21/01/2012 10:45 - Russian Federation

Today, I got home from my 6-week vacation. Apparently, my mum cleaned my room for me while I was gone because my vibrator was neatly tucked into my blanket, next to my pillow instead of being hidden under my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 459

You deserved it 9 321

By Anonymous - 26/12/2009 01:23 - United States

Today, as my dad was handing me my Christmas gift, he pats me on the shoulder and says, "These were mine, hope you enjoy them as much as I did." Thinking it was something special of his he wanted to hand down to me, I quickly unwrapped the box only to find old 70's porn. Merry Christmas? FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 567

You deserved it 3 394

By Sarah - 25/08/2009 16:04 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 654

You deserved it 10 420

perdix 29

Sunday 18 December 2011 12:45

Algebra fail! The problem is stated as an inequality. (Number of sex toys) > 1 x age Therefore, the OP must be 18 or younger.

ollie179 21

Sunday 18 December 2011 12:38

Well at least you weren't using them.

Comments

Felifulify 4

Monday 19 December 2011 18:57

Wow u sure do love ur sex toys, OP...

harp 9

Monday 19 December 2011 20:02

Must have been a hell of a party. She needed a ride cuz she can't walk.....

kosh_bl_k 0

Monday 19 December 2011 21:33

I drove from Montreal to Toronto and back six times. It is no more than five hours :) You can deal with it

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 19 December 2011 21:42

Doesn't say how fast OPs father would be driving.

MarsBarz 0

Monday 19 December 2011 22:36

mtl representt haha

mikemotox105 4

Tuesday 20 December 2011 2:32

Damn tht sux id help u clen them

dansco 24

Tuesday 20 December 2011 3:17

At least you aren't a bloke in the situation, now that would be awful lol. Explain to him that you have stayed away from boys ;p

Someofthisisfunn 0

Tuesday 20 December 2011 4:17

Hell yea!! College life!

bigdaddy93 8

Tuesday 20 December 2011 9:28

I guess next you were going to say you have a gallon of lube if you had all the money you spent on all those ****** you could put a good down payment on a new car!!!!!!!!!!!!

HeXr 22

Tuesday 20 December 2011 9:34

WTF is with all the comments suggesting that people with sex toys have shitty sex lives? I tend to notice that the amount of sex toys (and therefore open-mindedness) tends to positively correlate with the amount of sexual activity one engages in.