By Une Fille - 18/12/2011 05:18 - Canada

Spicy
Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19 of my sex toys. That's more than one sex toy per year that I've lived. I now have to face a 7-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks 18 289
You deserved it 44 302
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Top comments

perdix 29

Algebra fail! The problem is stated as an inequality. (Number of sex toys) > 1 x age Therefore, the OP must be 18 or younger.

334 14

Comments

ohmandapants 16

Toronto? Girl you should have stayed in Montreal! ;-) I'm kidding. Kind of... Anyway FYL. why was he able to just walk in like that? I don't know where you were, but it seems to me you should have been living somewhere with doors...unless he has a key? Where the hell were you cleaning these sex toys?!

8 2
ShroomsOnAcid 16

Exactly what I was thinking. Was she sitting out on her front porch or something?

5 0
DocBastard 38

My question is, what do you clean them with? Soap and water? Bleach wipes? Or is there some special Dildomatic Wipes out there? Vibrator Magic, now with Foaming Action© to get those hard-to-reach places!

12 12
SwtCherryPie 26

lol you are obviously a male.... there are some toys that come with their own cleaner or you can buy cleaner that wont screw up the toys

7 1
IndigoAcrylic 9

Thanks for the handy-dandy info, brahhh! ;D xD JK!

0 0
RedPillSucks 31

He was asking a question and speculating on a possible answer. Dildomatic would be the humorous version of the cleanser in question.

2 1
hawaiianfire 0

27, how does having 19 sex toys give you herpes?

3 0
iamray 2

If he brings it up say "you wash your hands but I dont mention it"

11 1
jlh2283 1

that's extremely excessive especially for someone your age. i don't even understand how you could afford that many delights.

1 12
desireev 17

Wow! That's not stereotypical at all! It shouldn't matter what age you are. (as long as you're legal to buy the toys) If the girl wants some toys, let her have some damn toys! And that's just rude to bring up the amount of money she uses to buy the toys! Talking about anybody's income is just plain rude! Use some manners!!

5 9
kaykay20 0

The prices range from a few dollars to near $100 or more so anyone can afford them. It's understandable that she has that many if she replaces and never throws old ones away after 6 months (how long a sex toys usually lasts and needs replaced). A bit odd that she cleans them all at once since those toys are suppose to be cleaned right after use and before.

3 0
SugarBabyAngel 5

just get a man... then you wont need that many sex toys ;)

0 14
SwtCherryPie 26

Not necessarily. Maybe her man isnt pleasing her. Or maybe they cant be intimate as much as she'd like. Or maybe (like my hubby and I) he uses the toys on her as part of foreplay. Or maybe she is saving herself for the right guy/marriage before she does anything that far with someone and wants something to help her out till that time comes.

9 2
moninbg 8

Or maybe she's a lesbian. As long as we are listing viable options...

0 0
disney_blonde 16

Why on earth would you need to clean all of them at once?! You're supposed to clean them as you use them so they don't grow bacteria....unless you just used all 19...

6 2
rogue2888 4

If she had a real man she wouldn't need toys!!!

0 0
spencerbalog 0

You know you're forever alone when you can collect sex toys.

1 10
insane451 4

Not true my wife and I have about 10 and we enjoy them together

7 0
RedPillSucks 31

BBW? Big Bottom Woman?

0 1
insane451 4

Don't be ashamed I'm sure your dad has used sex toys with your mom. There is nothing wrong with sex toys. Just tell him that's part of your private life

2 0
RedPillSucks 31

Unless he starts reminiscing, then it becomes both of your private lives... *I remember when me and the missus used old "Steely Dan" there. Yes, that one that looks like the cone-heads*

1 1
topie_fml 6

I like to think that she was giving them a final clean before she went away. You know to make sure that they stay clean. Anyways what you should've done is toss one to your dad and have a ***** lightsaber fight or something. I mean **** you are already screwed might as well go for broke and see if you could bullshit your way out of it.

10 1