Miscellaneous: Today, my dad decided that he wanted to start a collection of...

By Anonymous - 10/01/2012 03:14 - United States

Today, my dad decided that he wanted to start a collection of sporks. They're filling up our car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 208

You deserved it 2 419

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 06/09/2013 11:55 - United States - Louisville

Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 609

You deserved it 2 893

By Dragoness11 - 03/05/2019 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, at a cheap restaurant, my dad asked me if I wanted a straw. I declined, saying I wanted to do my bit for the environment and not waste plastic when I'm fine without. He grabbed three and dropped them on the sticky table, "just in case." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 693

You deserved it 514

By Anonymous - 22/03/2014 23:07 - United States - Auberry

Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted him to keep it, so he took the shavings, put them in a jar, and left it in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 718

You deserved it 13 274

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 10:22 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad started his mid-life crisis. Instead of a Porsche or a Ferrari, he bought a tractor. Goodbye summer holiday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 712

You deserved it 2 423

By Anonymous - 27/12/2009 22:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me how he used to collect little things when he was younger. He then decided to tell me about his current big toe nail collection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 372

You deserved it 3 576

By phonemenace - 17/08/2011 09:50 - United States

Today, I counted the amount of stuff that my dad had bought within a week: a brand new boat, car, and truck. He also has countless gadgets at his office, including a 60" television. Our house is literally falling apart but Mr. Midlife-crisis won't do anything to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 795

You deserved it 2 827

By maruskasommers - 09/01/2012 09:39 - Czech Republic

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 309

You deserved it 2 710

By ugh - 04/07/2016 17:26 - United States - Milford

Today, my dad had a midlife crisis in the grocery store over his football career in high school. So he decided pelting me with vegetables and fruits would be a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 441

You deserved it 1 120

By sick of this shit - 12/03/2016 13:33 - United States - West Grove

Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 952

You deserved it 1 753

By Anonymous - 09/03/2011 01:15 - United States

Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 768

You deserved it 7 946

H3RPxD3RP 0

Tuesday 10 January 2012 8:57

Better than 50,000 knives in your car

grahambertus 11

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:07

I dont know man. They're both some pretty forked up ideas. I hope nothing like that happens to me any time spoon. Its just knife to know that I'm safe at the moment.

Comments

HeyImPayton 0

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:29

This FML made me think of a father and teenager driving around to all the fastfood restaurants in town and the dad demanding a spork.

anjtrg_1112 23

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:46

Your dad is awesome. I'm totally going to do that.

ThatoneKaren 0

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:49

Let the man have his hobby. Complain when they get inside the house. Now thats a real problem. My mom is a hoarder. She filled my living room with thousands VHS movies, stuffed animals, boxes of clothes, snow globes, guitar hero pieces, a car tire 0.o ( we don't own a car), etc. I don't remember what the floor looks like =.=

mstangchck 9

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:59

I don't blame him. Sporks are awesome!

mismonroe 0

Tuesday 10 January 2012 10:06

I've noticed nothing but the pure awesomeness of your fathers idea.

RoseTintMyWorld 8

Tuesday 10 January 2012 10:54

Maybe he's saving them in case of an apocalyptic event, saving spoons and forks would be too bulky, so you'll still have eating utensils.

THE_A_TEEN 27

Tuesday 10 January 2012 15:11

Major rule of surviving the apocalypse: Never carry tons of useless stuff that is deemed worthless in numbers and usefulness. I doubt sporks are that useful after the apocalypse.

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 10 January 2012 18:44

During the zombie Apocalypse, he'll be the only one the zombies don't kill cause he's cornered the market on sporks that zombies need to eat your brains.