Miscellaneous: Today, my dad decided that my diploma makes a good pen-tester....

By dominator152 - 11/06/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, my dad decided that my diploma makes a good pen-tester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 113

You deserved it 3 839

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/02/2016 14:19 - United States - Abington

Today, my father used my birth certificate as a beer coaster. Accident or not, it pretty much perfectly sums up our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 175

You deserved it 1 465

By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 00:47 - United States

Today, I borrowed my dad's laptop to type an essay. While I was saving it, I noticed some curious looking files and I opened them. They were rejection letters from all the colleges I had applied to. My dad had been forging them so he wouldn't have to pay for my tuition bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 660

You deserved it 3 491

By seriously? - 27/05/2014 22:23 - United States - Manassas

Today, I discovered that my dad still doesn't consider my career as an app developer a "real job". FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 346

You deserved it 7 741

By Anonymous - 03/11/2010 17:57 - Germany

Today, I failed to get my driver's licence. My father was the instructor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 105

You deserved it 28 177

By art_major - 25/05/2011 14:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad came to my graduate art show wearing a t-shirt saying "My other daughter is a science major". He'd had it specially made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 865

You deserved it 7 627

By mathgenius - 08/10/2013 19:17 - Norway - Kolltveit

Today, I passed my math test with flying colors. My dad thought I had cheated, so he emailed the school and told them that I had. They lowered my grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 712

You deserved it 3 711

Alexa, play "What's My Age Again?" by Blink182

By collegestudent - 20/09/2019 02:01

Today, my dad asked me if I needed crayons for school. I'm going to college this fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 361

You deserved it 220

By Anonymous - 17/10/2010 06:28 - United States

Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 121

You deserved it 30 390

By PerpetuallyHappy - 25/09/2012 23:20 - United States - Rochester

Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 910

You deserved it 1 940

By thebeachisthatway - 22/10/2012 18:56 - United States - Worcester

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 252

You deserved it 5 275

mixxanber 0

Friday 11 June 2010 9:09

did his pens work?

JesseJaymz 0

Friday 11 June 2010 9:11

decide his face makes a good pin cushion

Comments

panda101x 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 23:49

The people at the DMV thought the same thing about mine.

macguy4321 14

Thursday 30 June 2011 22:54

Well, is your diploma a good pen tester

hup_holland_hup 4

Wednesday 3 August 2011 14:52

YDI for not framing it. Retard.

Akay4 14

Sunday 10 February 2013 4:09

Kill him.Kill him now.

trumpet8 6

Tuesday 5 August 2014 19:34

Tell him that live bodies make better target practice.

FweakofCydonia 40

Thursday 31 December 2015 1:02

Draw on your dad's diploma also! (Assuming he has one?)

Keywords

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Today, I was giving a presentation in front of my class. Mid-speech, I felt a sudden urge to sneeze and tried to hold it in. Instead, I let out the most obnoxious, window-rattling sneeze imaginable, complete with a spray of snot, which landed on my notes. I think I traumatized my classmates for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 114

Today, I'm exhausted and sore from a long night of pulling semis out of the snow. My wife is pissed because I want to sleep, instead of be with her. Every time I drift off, she starts doing things like loudly unloading the dishwasher or standing by our bedroom door talking loudly on the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 494

You deserved it 90

The Top

Today, I broke my own no contact rule with my ex, begging him to come back. He simply replied, "Stop begging. It's over." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 814

Today, I found an old photo album in my Facebook account, which had pictures of previous hangouts with people I called friends at the time. I deleted it because they progressively cut ties with me over time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 693

You deserved it 245

Today, I got 20% tints on my car. As I'm driving home, a cop pulls me over. I didn't want to ruin my new tint by opening my window, so I opened my door as the cop approached. He then pulled out his gun and yelled "GET ON THE FUCKING GROUND!" before I could explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 600

You deserved it 58 292

Today, my dad thought it'd be funny to put an Edward Cullen cutout behind my car as I backed it out the garage to see my reaction. Oh it was funny alright, except I was so scared that when I saw him through the mirror I reacted by stepping on the gas. We now have half a garage door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 719

You deserved it 8 605

Today, I'm severely hungover. Upon returning home, I came to find that both of the elevators were out of order. I live on the 12th floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 223

You deserved it 36 436

Today, I got pulled over. Suspicious that I'd been drinking, the police officer made me walk a straight line and recite the alphabet. I failed both. I was completely sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 291

You deserved it 26 518

Same thing different taste

Alexa, play "What's My Age Again?" by Blink182

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