Miscellaneous: Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he...

By CallaC - 15/03/2012 02:01 - Canada

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 507

You deserved it 2 898

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Same thing different taste

Scarred for life

By Aly - 09/12/2011 15:40 - United States

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 173

You deserved it 5 864

Bad start

By Tripp - 14/07/2019 14:00

Today, I sat my mom down to tell her I was pregnant, but before I could say anything, she started to lecture me on safe sex. I don't see this ending well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 788

You deserved it 619

By Anonymous - 26/06/2015 17:42 - Zambia

Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 201

You deserved it 2 394

By It was the 11 year old - 21/07/2012 08:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 912

You deserved it 5 033

By talkssuck - 30/03/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 478

You deserved it 18 538

By Anonymous - 19/01/2015 14:34 - United States - Lewiston

Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 681

You deserved it 7 566

Dumbasses

By Anonymous - 16/08/2013 21:05 - United States - Nevada

Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read, "My mom's a total pedo," after which she mentioned the talk. Her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 508

You deserved it 6 348

By Anonymous - 16/07/2012 00:12 - Canada - Brampton

Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 979

You deserved it 2 248

Great, just great

By Norwegian - 02/06/2012 16:55 - Norway

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 065

You deserved it 7 478

Make it stop, please

By Anonymous - 27/09/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 125

Valentina_Baby 7

Thursday 15 March 2012 5:02

Troll mom strikes again!

badwolfbluebox 7

Thursday 15 March 2012 5:03

Firstly though, your mother called you 'that' ?

Comments

bizarre_ftw 21

Thursday 15 March 2012 8:01

Go up to her and say in a very patronizing tone "do you have your special friend?"

calilovesneb 12

Thursday 15 March 2012 8:06

Definition of a worthless parent right there.

TheKidEka 9

Thursday 15 March 2012 8:20

Hahah

bizarre_ftw 21

Thursday 15 March 2012 8:26

Or, of course, just say: "Well someone slept with you didn't they? I think I'll be fine."

benmec 18

Thursday 15 March 2012 9:19

What???!! Your dad's name is Dan??

Kitties_Outcast 1

Thursday 15 March 2012 9:42

That's when you say I KNOW I WISH I LOOKED MORE LIKE MY DAD! lol jk that's awful that she woulda say that

R3kli3 10

Thursday 15 March 2012 9:52

Maybe your mom got jealous 'cause she knows she hardly gets some since she's always in the kitchen.

andrewsgirl2010 7

Thursday 15 March 2012 10:22

Ohh ouch :/ your mom sounds like a real bitch.

immaMonsta 8

Thursday 15 March 2012 10:37

My God...I hope for your sake she was joking. That's taking it too far. Parents don't seem to realize that what they say can actually hurt their child's feelings sometimes.