Intimacy: Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents....

By MIB thingy please... - 05/02/2015 01:21 - United States - Oregon City

Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 991

You deserved it 5 573

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Same thing different taste

By whoawhoawhoa - 28/12/2010 22:04 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 634

You deserved it 4 984

Pull up

By ohdeargodthatswrong - 09/01/2010 13:25 - United Kingdom

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 479

You deserved it 6 198

By so_screwed - 25/09/2013 06:59 - United States - Salinas

Today, my one-night stand decided he wanted to meet my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 508

You deserved it 13 892

Love and threats

By soontobedumped - 15/01/2012 19:26 - United States

Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 886

You deserved it 4 880

Thin walls

By xtilltheendx - 05/10/2020 20:08 - United States

Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 1 422

By sometingwong - 01/12/2011 20:32 - United States

Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 395

You deserved it 3 450

Scolded

By oopsies - 08/01/2010 01:07 - United States

Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 054

You deserved it 5 469

The moment when…

By wastedlove - 23/06/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 108

You deserved it 74 047

By Anonymous - 22/05/2010 23:22 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 586

You deserved it 47 219

Method acting

By Anonymous - 09/02/2013 05:08 - United Kingdom - Frome

Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 643

You deserved it 45 066

JMichael 25

Thursday 5 February 2015 17:30

And that's when your dad when into serial killer mode.

salamancer 11

Thursday 5 February 2015 17:31

As opposed to the inside of his penis???

Comments

MrConcise 34

Thursday 5 February 2015 17:36

I wonder how he thinks sex is usually performed if he had to specify which parts of which "parts" were to be used.

slutfactory 17

Thursday 5 February 2015 17:37

I'd like to know if your parents commented or tried to ignore it all together.

sullivankeara 25

Thursday 5 February 2015 17:39

I hope it wasn't a first date.

IamHercules 24

Thursday 5 February 2015 17:49

Does it really matter? That's a weird thing to say when her parents are within earshot.

julianbozikovic 20

Thursday 5 February 2015 17:39

How awkward OP! Hope your parents weren't too psychotic!

toaster87 19

Thursday 5 February 2015 17:42

If I were your parents, I wouldn't even flinch, because I would hope I raised a daughter that was smart enough to realize how stupid that guy was lol

CaroAurelia 12

Thursday 5 February 2015 18:33

True. If a guy said that to my kid, my first response would be "Promise me you won't call that weirdo back."

184886837272837 32

Thursday 5 February 2015 17:45

Depends, if I'd been dating a girl for a while I might say something creepy like that as a joke. If this was a first or second date then it was really just a shitty attempt to get laid.