By Anonymous - 09/04/2016 13:12 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my daughter and her "friend" kept using crude euphemisms right in front of me, thinking I was too old or too stupid to figure out what they meant. I nearly had an aneurysm when she told him he could put his "pencil" in her "sharpener" next time they studied together. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 182
You deserved it 2 613
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Top comments

Steffi3 40

If you know what they're talking about, just call her out on it. I mean, you are the parent

893 3
GokuSS400 18

100% agree with everyone proposing op embarrass her daughter. Now if that doesn't work…start playing along and tell them about how you were sharpening her father's pencil the other night ;) (not only would she be mortified that mom is trying to sound cool by playing along, but hearing about your parents' sex lives is one thing a child NEVER wants to encounter; 2 birds one stone)

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Comments

TCKM416 15

I remember when my boyfriend started throwing out euphemisms that we had made up in front of my mom. She didn't notice (I think/hope), but I nearly killed him

27 1
turdwrangler 18

On the flip side at least the were trying to be discreet. If it were my daughter I'd be telling the "friend" that if he came near my daughter again I'd put my "foot" in his "ass".

34 6
T_Seg_101 18

I guess it's time to learn about the birds and the bees... Be wise condomise!

13 3
yenze 18

Brings a whole new meaning to calling someone pencil dick.

31 0
hoosiergirl94 31

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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3 21
Kitouran 30

Seriously? You don't know ANYONE who uses a non-mechanical pencil. Sure, Jan.

11 1
Lyshandra 8

I'd bang a eggs cutter on the table and say " I have an Eraser for you if there is a need for". I think the kids will understand. Btw, an eggs cutter is a beautyful present for every new BF of your daughter, they always cry of happiness when we present them one!

11 6
Youtube_Troll 12

Please tell me you slapped the shit out of your daughter after her friend left. Please also tell me you told his parents and they slapped the shit out of him.

14 9
interesting33 36

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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4 25
brocho 26

#34 Slapping is NOT physical abuse. Of course, if you did it too hard or too much it might be, but when your little brat gets out of control it can be the prefect tool.

12 6
InfiniteSunshine 32

#45 Yes, slapping IS physical abuse. You are laying your hand on another person in an aggressive manner. Physical abuse- defined as the use of physical force that may result in bodily injury, PHYSICAL PAIN, or impairment. It may include but is not limited to such acts as striking (with or without an object), hitting, beating, pushing, shoving, shaking, slapping, kicking, pinching, and burning. Seriously, if you slap someone and they charge you with assault. Is your defense to the cops going to be like "Nah, it wasn't abuse or assault, cause I only slapped them."

4 15
laden_swallow09 34

And yet it's the only way to get the stupid out of some people...

10 1
deathshead 19

stupid is like a blood stain... it never comes out...

3 1
thenetflox 4

For one , we have no idea how old the daughter is she could be 17 or 18 which is the usual age where people start having sex. And two, you'd slap the shit out of your kid for talking about sex? Here is an idea , TALK TO YOUR KID. jesuschrist

4 0
interesting33 36

A girl slapped my sister once - unprovoked attack - and she got a night in a jail cell to teach her a lesson. It is abuse and it is illegal.

1 0
GeeThatSucks 9

I'm so ******* mad at this. not only did you just say to hit a minor, you said "slap the shit of her". you said to go and beat on a minor for being sexually active. and then people upvoted you and downvoted anyone that pointed out how retarded this is. I don't care who you are but we do not " slap the shit" out of people when ******* WORDS EXIST.

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Gatashablan 7

Why not put a pencil and a sharpener in a condom or something with humor with few advices like "stay safe", "stop using crude euphemism in front of me"...whatever you like, it will sets few rules to respect each other and keeping privacy at home. It's useless to threat her boyfriend, that's part of our life.

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lexielou07 18

What if OP's daughter is barely a teenager, say 13 or 14? Would you honestly give your 13 y/o a condom and say, "Stay safe!"? Sounds like OP needs to sit down and have a talk with her daughter rather than encourage this behavior.

11 1
Gatashablan 7

That's exactly my point. Not every parents is at ease with the sex talk. It might be embarrassing so i just imagined a smooth way to tell few word about it with humor, being cautious and take responsability because they might got babies, catch AIDS and respect each other. At the age of 13-14, they are smart enough to understand the risk if you explain. The most important part there is the talk. I prefer to tell them everything like the Norway show "pubertet" rather than forbad it because if you do, they will hide and see each other again.

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