Kids: Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney...

By MakeMyDay_27 - 27/06/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 954

You deserved it 5 638

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By me - 06/05/2013 00:56 - United States - Floresville

Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 562

You deserved it 6 965

Rare insults corner

By ButImBeautiful - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Cheltenham

Today, a little girl came up to me and told me I looked like a foot. Thanks a bunch, darling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 713

You deserved it 685

By anonymous - 02/11/2014 09:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my daughter admitted to me that the only reason she's nice to me is because I give her money. She's six. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 239

You deserved it 5 360

By Anonymous - 11/09/2013 18:10 - United States - Miami

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 178

You deserved it 10 071

By silverstar189 - 01/01/2010 15:41 - United States

Today, the 6 year old girl I was babysitting asked me, "Why are you so ugly? Are you an alien? Because aliens are about as ugly as you are." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 253

You deserved it 4 021

By Missyangel - 31/12/2009 07:39 - United States

Today, my 7 year-old looked at me and stated, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 376

You deserved it 11 458

Say it ain't so

By loserwithlice - 26/07/2009 18:58 - United States

Today, I told my 8 year-old daughter that she looks a lot like mommy. Now she won't come out of her room because she thinks she's ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 944

You deserved it 6 295

Lookalikes

By Anonymous - 31/03/2021 13:58 - Germany - Bruchsal

Today, my boyfriend told me that his daughter only liked me because she thought that we look like siblings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 93

By alejita - 02/03/2009 05:52 - United States

Today, I overheard my daughter compliment my mother by saying "My mom is way flabbier than you, Grandma." When I told her later that she hurt my feelings, she told me to "man up." She's seven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 140

You deserved it 9 848

By disappointed - 01/07/2016 03:31 - United States - Rockville

Today, my eldest daughter told me about the sharp pains she's been having for the past couple of days. She also told me how she thinks it's really pointy carrots trying to escape her body. She's 11, and going to middle school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 044

You deserved it 1 483

ComTlancy 12

Monday 27 June 2011 23:03

you've got to be kidney-ing me...

SophisticatedJel 0

Monday 27 June 2011 23:05

tell her it runs in the family and that soon her head will be shaped just like yours!

Comments

TheNewGuy03 28

Tuesday 28 June 2011 16:18

your daughter is a (really ******* disrespectful) genius. i mean, when i was 6, i wasn't slinging insults like that. jeez. |the kid|

JoeyPterodactyl 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 19:33

Must be difficult to find a hat.

nativebabe 4

Tuesday 28 June 2011 19:36

brat

shoecrazy 5

Tuesday 28 June 2011 20:57

that little girl needs to learn some manners. pronto.

foshobabe96 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 20:58

Some kids are so mean.

budd28 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 21:57

ahahaha lmao that's soooo funny FYL though

HellOnWheels357 11

Wednesday 29 June 2011 1:49

freakin slap her till her head looks like a kidney bean. then don't talk to her..

jadengtfo 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 5:33

that is pretty funny :p

SteveOsWifey 5

Wednesday 29 June 2011 5:34

a good spanking would set her straight (:

Mollster1 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 13:25

oh wow...

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I found out that when my best friend and I were kids, our parents would cancel playdates when either of us opted to not go to church. They said it would, "strengthen our faith." We are now both adults and staunch atheists for that reason, and we're spending way more time together to make up for this crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 144

Today, I got a call from a lady who said my husband died in a car accident in Miami. My husband is supposed to be at a business trip in North Carolina, so I told her it must be a mistake. Turns out it was all true. He lied about a business trip and went to Miami with his lover, who was the woman who had called me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 779

You deserved it 57

The Top

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 927

You deserved it 7 677

Today, I fell asleep as my family drove to church. No one bothered to say anything about the drawings my siblings drew on my face until after church ended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 414

You deserved it 5 826

Today, I had a great leg workout at the gym. Instead of doing my cool down exercise at the end, I decided I wanted to do something more adventurous, like box jumps on one of those metal stools at the gym. Well, it turns out my body wasn’t ready for that. Now my shin is busted and swollen. This is my second week training. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 1 051

Today, during a storm-related power failure, I jerry-rigged an inverter from my car to supply the essentials. In doing so, I managed to blow up the fridge, smoke and all. The power came back on 5 minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 912

Today, I brought my girlfriend flowers. All she managed to do was to say, "It’s been a year since you brought me flowers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 360

Today, as I was sitting in my car in a mall parking lot, an old couple got into their new van and backed right into me. The man got out and in broken english decided it was no big deal. He turned to leave and tried to pat my back, but smacked my ass instead. I was hit by a car, and spanked for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 344

You deserved it 3 345

Same thing different taste

Rare insults corner

Say it ain't so

Lookalikes

Top comments

Comments