Animals: Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's...

By Anonymous - 21/11/2012 05:00 - United States - Casselberry

Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food. Then whined until I showed him how to get down. He does this every night. My dog is a genius. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 961

You deserved it 5 102

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Same thing different taste

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 05/10/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 085

You deserved it 8 762

FEED ME, HOOMIN

By My cat is special - 21/04/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, my cat ate the dog's food and is now very sick. For the third time. The first time he did it, I was concerned; second time, I was confused. Now I realize he's just an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 666

You deserved it 211

Clever boy

By Lisa87 - 21/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dog had learned how to open our fridge. He ate the birthday cake I was saving for a friend's surprise party, and to add insult to injury, he'd also apparently thrown the barely digested cake up all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 94

By 2k16 - 17/03/2016 02:48 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I came home to find that my dog had figured out how to open the fridge again. He'd helped himself to raw eggs and crab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 823

You deserved it 1 681

By Z3R0G5 - 06/01/2014 23:00 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 177

You deserved it 19 258

Obey, human

By Anonymous - 28/02/2023 12:00

Today, after struggling to fall asleep due to stress, my cat decided to wake me up by standing on me and meowing until I got up. Just for me to show him that my boyfriend had already put food in his dish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 167

By FishFlingingMonkey - 22/08/2015 03:55 - Canada - Saint John

Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 307

You deserved it 8 136

By conbon123 - 29/04/2013 07:20 - United States - Beaverton

Today, my dog became scared of his own food bowl. He now barks for ages every time he sees it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 107

You deserved it 3 446

Where there's a will…

By Anonymous - 22/02/2023 18:00 - Australia

Today, my little Pomeranian dog got onto the kitchen bench by jumping onto the washing basket, the bookcase, and over the window sill, and ate my daughter's birthday cake while I was in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 702

You deserved it 264

Clever boy

By Anonymous - 28/01/2023 02:30

Today, I found out my dog can open the fridge. Now I have no food left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 148

ariverperson 11

Wednesday 21 November 2012 12:20

the cats food is kept on the dining room table? ew...

Bob_Cat_fml 14

Wednesday 21 November 2012 12:17

Genius enough to understand that you can be tricked every day the same way …

Comments

MeLikeBigBoom 8

Thursday 22 November 2012 0:51

Then let him sit there until he learns not to jump up there in the first place!

jessmartin1993 6

Thursday 22 November 2012 1:48

Cat food is really bad for dogs, you should probably move it!

nightwishs 13

Thursday 22 November 2012 2:42

This made me giggle

joe502 3

Thursday 22 November 2012 6:13

I have a pasture you can put him out to....

theQUEEN444 5

Thursday 22 November 2012 8:56

why was the cat food on the table in the first place

ThatChick151 2

Thursday 22 November 2012 23:51

Put the cat's food somewhere else. Problem solved...

coop7291 3

Friday 23 November 2012 0:40

My dog always jumps on the dining room table. One time he devoured an entire stick of butter....and I was stuck cleaning it all up later.

ambiebabii 1

Friday 23 November 2012 11:58

Do you realize how nasty it is to let your CAT eat on the same table as you? Even worse that you let your DOG do it too.! You deserve that shit.

Evilpirate 10

Sunday 25 November 2012 9:57

Why is your cat's food on the dining room table?

Liamj774 36

Sunday 2 December 2012 5:20

Lol

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend "proposed" to me. When we first started dating, he told me that he hated the concept of marriage and absolutely never wanted to go through with it. So I laughed and turned him down, obviously thinking it was just a joke. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 237

Today, I was working a concert ticket booth. A lady gave me her ticket, I punched it, and told her to enjoy the show. She asked for the “hotel.” Apparently, she thought that the concert ticket cost included a hotel stay, since she traveled from out of state. She cussed me out and had to be escorted out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 333

You deserved it 76

The Top

Today, after finally falling asleep, my boyfriend woke me up and got extremely mad at me. My offense? My pillow was touching his side of the bed. After yelling at me, he's now sleeping on the couch, and I'm lying in bed wide awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 571

You deserved it 3 128

Today, my friends were trying to set me up with one of their other friends. We were texting and I said, “How is your day so far?” He responded with, “Worse.” I said, “Oh no what happened?” You know what he said? “You.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 47

Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 062

You deserved it 895

Today, my flute broke. I have an exam coming tomorrow and all repair shops are closed. I guess I’ll have to lose £150. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 781

You deserved it 174

Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 907

You deserved it 3 351

Today, while driving my car near a farm, I hit a man on the side of the road. I started freaking out and got out of the car to help him. It was then that I found out that I'd hit a scarecrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 343

You deserved it 7 280

Same thing different taste

Bad boy

FEED ME, HOOMIN

Clever boy

Obey, human

Where there's a will…

Clever boy

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