Animals: Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's...

By Anonymous - 21/11/2012 05:00 - United States - Casselberry

Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food. Then whined until I showed him how to get down. He does this every night. My dog is a genius. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 961

You deserved it 5 102

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 05/10/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 085

You deserved it 8 762

FEED ME, HOOMIN

By My cat is special - 21/04/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, my cat ate the dog's food and is now very sick. For the third time. The first time he did it, I was concerned; second time, I was confused. Now I realize he's just an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 666

You deserved it 211

Clever boy

By Lisa87 - 21/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dog had learned how to open our fridge. He ate the birthday cake I was saving for a friend's surprise party, and to add insult to injury, he'd also apparently thrown the barely digested cake up all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 94

By 2k16 - 17/03/2016 02:48 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I came home to find that my dog had figured out how to open the fridge again. He'd helped himself to raw eggs and crab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 823

You deserved it 1 681

By Z3R0G5 - 06/01/2014 23:00 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 177

You deserved it 19 258

Obey, human

By Anonymous - 28/02/2023 12:00

Today, after struggling to fall asleep due to stress, my cat decided to wake me up by standing on me and meowing until I got up. Just for me to show him that my boyfriend had already put food in his dish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 167

By FishFlingingMonkey - 22/08/2015 03:55 - Canada - Saint John

Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 307

You deserved it 8 136

By conbon123 - 29/04/2013 07:20 - United States - Beaverton

Today, my dog became scared of his own food bowl. He now barks for ages every time he sees it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 107

You deserved it 3 446

Where there's a will…

By Anonymous - 22/02/2023 18:00 - Australia

Today, my little Pomeranian dog got onto the kitchen bench by jumping onto the washing basket, the bookcase, and over the window sill, and ate my daughter's birthday cake while I was in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 702

You deserved it 264

Clever boy

By Anonymous - 28/01/2023 02:30

Today, I found out my dog can open the fridge. Now I have no food left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 148

ariverperson 11

Wednesday 21 November 2012 12:20

the cats food is kept on the dining room table? ew...

Bob_Cat_fml 14

Wednesday 21 November 2012 12:17

Genius enough to understand that you can be tricked every day the same way …

Comments

kikks_xx 10

Sunday 14 April 2013 11:04

No, your dog is retarded. How does that, in any way, make him a genius?

josh2001 2

Monday 26 May 2014 21:40

Why would the cat's food be on the dining room table?

nachosbabygurl 9

Wednesday 18 June 2014 23:19

throw the dog outside your a genius

KuKluxCatz 8

Sunday 3 August 2014 9:34

Dumb dogs are the best dogs!

carbonbasedcynic 17

Monday 18 January 2016 8:23

careful with that dog. natural selection might catch up

lucasj2345 7

Sunday 3 September 2017 4:58

what?? why in God's name is the cats food on the dining table? and if the dog gets it every night isn't that a vkue to move it

Darkxephos 7

Friday 19 January 2018 22:17

don't show him how to get down and he will stop...

sarahcroy20 12

Tuesday 15 December 2020 8:26

I'm thinking that if you moved the chairs he wouldn't be able to get up there. And why are you feeding the cat on the dining room table ?

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Holidays Lonely Relatable Capitalism Work Bosses You're fired Cars Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school that says, "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 746

You deserved it 3 568

Today, I found out that in the three years I've been dating my boyfriend, his parents have secretly been going through all of his emails, including the ones I've sent him with "sexy" pictures attached. I can't look his parents in the eye without being reminded that they've both seen me naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 300

You deserved it 14 749

The Top

Today, I gave my grandparents my old cell to use since they needed an upgrade. I thought I had deleted everything until I received a text from my grandmother. It was a vagina shot I had taken for my fiancé with a message that said "You need to wear more makeup". FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 691

You deserved it 36 936

Today, on my holiday in Thailand I was using the ATM to withdraw $500 worth of Baht. While doing this the ATM crashed and decided to restart. After 5 minutes it spat my card out and nothing else. When I returned to the hotel to use the Wifi, the ATM had deducted the money from my account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 950

You deserved it 1 950

Today, while cleaning around the house, I found a black bra that wasn’t mine. I confronted my husband about it, which turned into a massive fight. It turned out that the bra actually belonged to my son’s girlfriend I didn’t know he had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 558

You deserved it 30 421

Today, while driving, I put on my hazards and slowed to a stop to let a family of geese cross the street. The pick-up truck behind me however, decided to change lanes and speed off, running over at least half of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 186

You deserved it 100

Today, my brother-in-law's wife said she won the jackpot by marrying into our family. What she doesn't know is that they make fun of her family behind her back, and her husband has no drive or focus in life. Now I get to watch her discover how crazy they really are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 250

You deserved it 246

Today, thanks to downsizing and corporate restructuring, I was "promoted" to the entry level position I had 10 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 381

You deserved it 668

Same thing different taste

Bad boy

FEED ME, HOOMIN

Clever boy

Obey, human

Where there's a will…

Clever boy

Top comments

Comments