Animals: Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and...

By hadtocleanthemess - 28/06/2011 12:35 - Canada

Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 885

You deserved it 4 202

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Same thing different taste

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 05/07/2019 14:00

Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 693

You deserved it 303

By Anonymous - 11/10/2018 17:30

Today, my dog had diarrhea in his cage. While I was carrying his dirty bed downstairs to the washer, he ran by and tripped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 661

You deserved it 303

Splat!

By Anonymous - 11/05/2020 14:00

Today, I have a case of diarrhea. How did I find out? I got startled by my dog jumping up to greet me, and I shat all over the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 214

By kiwibox - 26/10/2013 01:50 - United Kingdom - Ipswich

Today, my dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 082

You deserved it 7 139

Top of the mornin' to ya!

By Anonymous Taco Man - 03/08/2021 08:01 - United States

Today, my dog had REALLY bad diarrhea. I found that out when I woke up to find it all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 105

By SHIT-BREATH - 05/06/2013 16:03 - United Kingdom - Chepstow

Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 497

You deserved it 15 110

Help!

By ukfan - 06/10/2010 16:01 - United States

Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 570

You deserved it 5 080

Treasure hunt

By Catois - 05/03/2010 05:17 - United States

Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 775

You deserved it 13 227

By life_suxxx - 17/12/2009 06:09 - United States

Today, I come home to find that my dog has taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He also took a dump in my house shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 557

You deserved it 4 902

Bad boy

By Really - 14/05/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, my roommate let his dog out. Not even five minutes later, she walked into my room and dropped a deuce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 87

kduubb 7

Tuesday 28 June 2011 18:56

aww poor dog...

Shadow1368 17

Tuesday 28 June 2011 18:57

That's a shitty situation.

Comments

SandraChon_fml 0

Friday 1 July 2011 0:36

Shat?????!!!! Is that even a word??!! With grammar like that you definitely deserved it. Lol. Jk.

bellakaykid 6

Saturday 2 July 2011 7:40

Yes, it is the past tense of "shit". OP didn't deserve it, their grammar was correct.

Preston96 0

Friday 1 July 2011 10:25

that's hilarious

bellakaykid 6

Saturday 2 July 2011 7:35

What a crappy situation to be in.

yankfan89 27

Tuesday 4 October 2011 3:50

Poor puppy

pippacrawford 4

Friday 1 June 2012 11:35

When I first read this I thought it said "my dad" instead of "my dog" O___O

KtKD54 2

Friday 6 July 2012 5:17

Ahhh.... The words shart and shat. Gets me every time....

bjobabygirl 12

Thursday 23 August 2012 5:27

Awe poor dogie hope he's ok

PugDelatorre 11

Friday 9 May 2014 23:33

Oh shit.

TheNicce01 14

Tuesday 30 September 2014 22:24

why. where do you keep youre containers

random_man1999 11

Wednesday 24 June 2015 7:32

Sounds like you had... A shitty day

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The Top

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 63

Today, I woke up from a night of serious depression, drinking by myself at home, to find a USB stick wrapped in plastic up my vagina, with "Top secret" written on it. There was nothing on the stick when I checked. I may need to give tequila a rest and switch back to gin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 1 831

The Top

Today, I'm currently in hospital with a painful and swollen Achille's heel problem. I was dreaming of running down stairs. I then tripped on one, and as I whacked my foot on the stairs in my dream, I also raised my foot and whacked it on the end of the hospital bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 571

You deserved it 198

Today, I was warned that I was failing too many students and it had to stop, so I showed my boss all of the easy assignments a lot of students didn't even turn in. She told me to stop using so many "big words" in them. I teach at a four year University. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 796

You deserved it 231

Today, my ex claimed she missed me and asked me to come back, but when I gave her a polite and firm no, she turned nasty and keyed my car. Apparently, what she actually missed was someone mug enough to pay 2/3 of the household bills, while looking after her badly behaved brat whenever she didn't want to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 057

You deserved it 132

Today, someone popped my birthday balloon at school. Her reasoning was that she "didn't want people to know we have the same birthday." Who popped it? My identical twin sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 341

You deserved it 3 698

Today, at my first day of work, I was impressing my trainer with my skills by carrying many trays at once. Well, I could until I came around a corner and ran into a customer. With food all over his front, he introduced himself to me as the head manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 640

You deserved it 4 814

Today, my anxiety was escalating so I decided to try an anti-anxiety adult coloring book to calm myself down. Too bad I got more stressed out about which colors I should use. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 581

You deserved it 4 014

Same thing different taste

Bad boy

Splat!

Top of the mornin' to ya!

Help!

Treasure hunt

Bad boy

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