Animals: Today, my dog had to choose between protecting me from a mugger...

By mugged - 20/03/2011 20:29 - United States

Today, my dog had to choose between protecting me from a mugger or eating an apple. He chose the apple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 431

You deserved it 4 852

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/07/2019 18:00

Today, I asked my wife who she would choose, me or the dog. She chose the dog. No hesitation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 330

You deserved it 995

Unattack dog

By woofwoof - 30/12/2014 04:17 - Turkey - Izmir

Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 038

You deserved it 3 007

By macguy - 20/10/2016 14:25 - Philippines - Quezon City

Today, I got mugged. For my Big Mac. What the fuck? FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 197

You deserved it 1 009

Not so smooth criminal

By Anonymous - 14/08/2013 09:11 - United States - Sanford

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 317

You deserved it 6 858

By mr_dinzaster - 30/05/2019 22:00

Today, a dog came into my yard. I bent down to pet him, forgetting I had a burger in my hand. The dog grabbed it and ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 794

You deserved it 1 878

Naughty boy

By Bad boy - 21/09/2023 06:00

Today, I took my dog to the park. While chatting with another dog owner, my dog managed to steal their sandwich and ran off with it. I had to chase my sandwich-thieving dog through the entire park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 553

You deserved it 218

By anyonmus - 12/04/2013 00:59 - United States - Westminster

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 278

You deserved it 9 704

By Cedar Buero - 05/03/2017 19:00 - United States - Cape Girardeau

Today, my dog thought it would be a good idea to use my phone as a chew toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 402

You deserved it 685

Irony at a base level

By SterlingEnigma - 25/09/2009 08:43 - United States

Today, I decided to start making healthier decisions. Instead of the usual cheeseburger I have for lunch I ate an apple instead. I took one bite and broke one of my teeth. Apparently, apples keep the doctor away, but not dentists. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 345

You deserved it 7 383

By ZAnon - 06/02/2015 07:06 - United States - Houston

Today, my 97-pound pitbull wagged and chased his tail while I was being mugged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 709

You deserved it 3 826

BLAZZZEEEDDD 1

Sunday 20 March 2011 23:30

dogs always go for food

AlienX_fml 0

Sunday 20 March 2011 23:45

I usually bring an apple when i mug people. Just in case they have a dog.

Comments

damoDYNAMITE 0

Sunday 20 March 2011 23:55

protect yourself maybe? xD

ChaPStikkWhoRe 0

Monday 21 March 2011 0:11

an apple a day keeps the Vet away... Wait... WHAT!?

anonymous595 0

Monday 21 March 2011 0:15

omg tis is so fekin funny!!!!!!:-D

misstamz 0

Monday 21 March 2011 0:14

awww that's cute:)

AnagenisisZagus 13

Monday 21 March 2011 0:18

The dog was hungry, man! You would have done the same! Hyprcorite!

jenna_rae 0

Monday 21 March 2011 0:22

haha FYL

chlobo13 0

Monday 21 March 2011 0:21

Awww that's cute. :) A doggie eating an apple. And you're just a wimp if you really have to depend on an animal. *_*

T3P33_fml 0

Monday 21 March 2011 1:32

you forgot board-cleaning hamsters.

IStoleTheCookies 16

Monday 21 March 2011 0:23

whilst eating, that sounds kushty.

chappy5 0

Monday 21 March 2011 0:27

ydi for relying on your dog, you shouldn't expect that from him, you wuss. but it's still funny

kennababy 0

Monday 21 March 2011 0:32

haha it's a dog :) it will always choose the food

Swaggy94_fml 0

Monday 21 March 2011 0:36

Ah haaa

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