Intimacy: Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions...

By bellaboop1990 - 14/07/2009 22:13 - United States

Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 514

You deserved it 6 367

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Same thing different taste

By nah - 04/02/2009 14:35 - United States

Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolled off of me without finishing, and said, "I'm bored." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 980

You deserved it 7 579

By Anonymous - 10/08/2018 18:30

Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 255

You deserved it 394

By bestbfever - 17/05/2017 02:00

Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 849

You deserved it 413

By Anonymous - 15/12/2011 17:26 - United States

Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 866

You deserved it 5 563

You OK dude?

By kvdfan - 27/08/2012 12:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 313

You deserved it 3 517

Knackered

By bandeek - 23/10/2016 18:52

Today, my boyfriend and I fell asleep twice during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 077

You deserved it 2 891

Couple of issues

By Anonymous - 03/10/2023 20:00

Today, my boyfriend confessed the reason we haven’t been intimate in months is because he can’t get it up unless he is drunk. I’ve been refusing to get intimate when he’s drunk because it’s not enjoyable and mostly painful, but I still have needs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 646

You deserved it 165

I'll take what I can get

By Queen LaQueefah - 13/09/2015 11:52 - United Kingdom - Chesterfield

Today, my rarely-romantic boyfriend finally said "I love you". Too bad he was drunk, and was talking to my vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 182

You deserved it 3 401

By LizP40 - 27/08/2009 16:46 - United States

Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 993

You deserved it 9 412

By Anonymous - 08/01/2011 20:15 - Netherlands

Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 820

You deserved it 4 157

Toas7 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 2:57

"Today, my drunk boyfriend " This explains it.

efmivida 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 2:54

hes a jerk... or really weird

Comments

sam_stalker 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 3:44

Why is this in the INTIMACY section? shouldn't of be in the SEX section?

iFRUiTTART 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 3:53

Sam_stalker , the sex section got replaced with "intimacy" .

ily_hun996 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 3:59

"Sex" to "Intimacy" "My Life Sucks, but I don't give a F**k" to "Get the Guts to Spill the Beans" WHAT THE ****

Jakester 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 6:57

now they are being more kid friendly :/ yeah seriously this is stupid

iSmellNice 2

Wednesday 15 July 2009 23:30

Next, they'll change the site name to mylifesucks.com

sunshineegirl 2

Saturday 18 July 2009 20:08

ahh yeah, its pretty lame.

fretforyerlatte 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 4:06

FTW!

I_am_stupid_also 6

Wednesday 15 July 2009 4:06

So maybe he wants to try new positions in bed, but still no sex.

olisykes_ 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 9:08

Your name sums you up pretty well. (Not you, crazycok)

aback 4

Wednesday 15 July 2009 4:12

You haven't, but he has.

kira1kira 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 4:16

I'm scared to think about how he got confused....

devendra_fml 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 4:17

you deserve it for not trying different positions when you're not having sex with him.

mmmyeahsaraa 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 4:18

maybe he didnt know what he was saying? i mean after all....he was drunk

loverslanex3 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 4:24

Well that's a bummer. He was drunk though...

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I woke up from a night of serious depression, drinking by myself at home, to find a USB stick wrapped in plastic up my vagina, with "Top secret" written on it. There was nothing on the stick when I checked. I may need to give tequila a rest and switch back to gin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 1 831

Today, mid-sex, my wife told me to call her a nasty slut. I was kind of uncomfortable doing it, but I did it to make her horny. She started crying, because she didn’t realise how much it would hurt her feelings. Now I’m not sure if she’s mad at me or herself, but I’m scared either way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 737

You deserved it 280

The Top

Today, I went out for lunch with one of my co-workers. After work, I talked to one of my friends about how unpleasant the lunch was with him. My co-worker was standing behind me listening in the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 2 792

Today, just like the past 10 days, I have COVID. Today was also the day my body decided to betray me. I threw up and simultaneously shit myself for the first time since I was in diapers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 117

Today, I broke my nose by falling on the cast I have on my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 107

Today, I got back from an 8 month deployment but rather than being pleased to see me my wife wanted to continue the same argument we were having the day I left. I miss being shot at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 136

Today, I found out that our neighbors told almost everyone on our street that I was mentally handicapped. All this time I wasn't sure why they would speak slowly and loudly at me. Now they won't believe me when I tell them I'm a 4.0 GPA student. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 631

You deserved it 3 597

Today, I was playing a game of charades with my in-laws. I had to get them to guess the movie "Chicken Run," so I started flapping my arms, clucking loudly, and running around. I was really getting into it when I noticed everyone looking horrified. Turns out, my mother-in-law is terrified of chicken, and I just about triggered her a panic attack. FML